new here and need help

jc2008 · Veteran Member

new here and need help

lostmdboy · Veteran Member

Hello, I know where you are coming from. It is like you are living a double life. The one you let every one see, and the won you hide in the closet. You can not live with alcohol, and you can not live with out it. Trust me there is a better life. First off I would suggest going to see your doctor, and being COMPLETELY honest with them. There are some medical issues with a heavey drinker, and quitting. The second suggestiuon is get to a meeting, and go to as many as you possibly can. You have already taken the most important step. Addmitting that you have a problem. I am sure there will be wiser people then I come along with better advice, but these are the two that come to mind first. Keep posting, let us know how you are.

Sick of being sick · MIP Old Timer

Since you went to AA meetings in your early 20's, you have a head start. I can assure you that the meetings are even more readily available today, and that you can find a lot of help there.

Getting through the door of that meeting place can be a little intimidating at first, but you will find everything after that step to be an opening to something far better.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello JC,

the reality is that alcohol is destroying your life now, not later. the pain that you are experiencing is 100 different types of fear. the opposite of fear, is faith. AA is a spiritual program where we place our faith, about things that we can not control, with a higher power of our own understanding. we come to realize that we are ok today. all our needs are being
taken care of today. hence the "one day at a time". it's the worrying about tomorrow, and grimmacing about the past that torments us. when we focus on only today, we can accept who we are and where are today and be content (read grateful) about it.

your greatest opportunity to get a good start on sobriety is going to treatment center, 60 or 90 days if possible. and don't worry if you're a daily drinker, those around you can do without you for a month or two. And to have you come back sober would be well worth it to all concerned. I didn't go to a treatment center, but I wished that I had as it took me 2 years and a lot of heartbreak and loss to finally "get" this program. My marriage did not survive, and it might have if I had gone treatment, just saying.

Good luck with it and let us know how it's going for you.

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Hi JC, and welcome. You are a classic, textbook newcomer. Starting the same way all of us did. First of all, no need to be ashamed, afraid or embarrassed. You likely didn't ask for this fatal disease and your courage to step forth here is an indication that you want help. It takes a strong, courageous person to ask for help. All you really need to do at the beginning is Trust and Believe that you can turn things around. Sure, it going to be tough, nothing worth having seems to come easy but is is Do-Able. Don't beat yourself up, you've done nothing wrong, again this is a fatal disease that none of us asked for! Read lots of these posts, we are real people just like you and have nothing to gain by BS'ing each other. Myself, I went to a 28 day program, near where I live. That saved my life, I learned so much and for me, that's what I needed....to learn. Your Husband is supportive, your kids will be too. Keep coming back, you are among friends!

Scott

-- Edited by eastcoastscott at 10:04, 2008-02-21

FindingFreedom · Senior Member

hi jc

welcome, i am so glad you are here, admitting i had a drinking problem was very difficult, but it was also the first step into a better life, drinking and drugging took me down a very dark and depressing road.

this board has been great to me, lots of good support, so keep visiting and reaching out.

i always felt so alone when i was using and in fact, i often used alone, just sitting in my living room in a big archie bunker" chair watching tv and smoking joint after joint, until my body swelled up with toxins and my brain became mush. i knew i was killing myself, but i just couldn't seem to stop, i would stop for a month and then start again. like yourself i had been to aa meetings in my past, so 11 months ago i went in one again, and i have been sober ever since.

for me, it's the fellowship and understanding from other recovering addicts that has been such a help, i know that everyone in the room know where i am coming from and we are all working together to stay sober, we are all in the same life boat. and it feels great to be in lifeboat with others who care.

jc, i care about you, even though i don't know you personally, but i care, because, i can relate to your experience, i can hear that you want to get better and this is encouraging to me. my aa meetings and this board are my life boat, and you have called out to us this morning, i can see you out in the stormy sea reaching your hand out to me, us, in the lifeboat, and trust me, jc, we are reaching are hands back to you and want to pull you out of the sea and into the safety of the aa program, in our lifeboat. we are pulling for you right now.

don't let go, we can help you into the lifeboat. all the best, Deb

Sept_19_2002 · Veteran Member

Welcome JC. By getting here you've come a long way already. You're doing great. Sounds like the disease has run havoc through your family and you may have had enough.

I once heard at a meeting that alcoholism and addiction are like Cancer, a fatal disease that destroys everything in it's path. The speaker then added that there was a cure ... that the cure had remarkable healing qualities, it stopped the disease, it could heal you and it could also ... this is my favorite part biggrin

.... the cure can make you better.

Here in this online room we all stand beside you, healing and becoming better people than we were.

You mentioned the all powerful "off switch", in time you will surprise yourself and find the even more powerful, more wonderful "on switch" of a higher power. The steps of this program will guide you there. Millions have gone before you and succeeded.

Let your higher power become your designated driver in life.

Keep coming back biggrin

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi JC,

Welcome to MIP.

When the pain got too great for me to handle I went to AA. I had already been for a little while about eighteen months previously and I knew that it was where I needed to be. I'm just so glad that I went back. I now have two years sobriety and the quality of my life has changed out of all recognition.

I went to as many meetings as I could and listened to what was being said and to the similarities for me and my drinking pattern. I just wish that I had gone years ago. But, you're here and that is such an important step.

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

jc2008 · Veteran Member

Wow -- I just got back to my desk after a meeting (in which I stared at the floor and tried not to cry) and saw all of these wonderful, helpful replies. I'm still a little hung over so my head isn't completely clear, but reading what everyone had to say has given me hope that I might make it. I know this is only the beginning of a long, long road but I'm so glad that I'm on it. Scared, but glad. I know that I came very close to destroying myself. Somehow I just need to believe that I am worth saving. I can't do this just for my kids, though I love them so much and would die for them. I know I have to do this for myself. Since an early age I've held the belief that I'm irreparably damaged, stained, broken. That even though what my father did to me wasn't my fault, it doomed my life. My husband told me last night that he can't understand how my view of myself can be so drastically different from his and our friends' views of me. I don't understand how anyone who really knows me (and maybe no one does) can like me.

Now I'm rambling, so I'll stop. I'm going to go to a meeting tonight. And I'm going to post here frequently. Thank you, thank you for your support and kindness.

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!
Your story sounds exactly like mine! Scary huh!? But, even scary to continue on the road youre on. I did get to the point where I drove my kids and their friends around after a couple drinks! Never got caught, thank god, but what if!!!!! Stick around, hit some meetings! You'll discover that you really are the person everyone else loves and cherishes and you'll really believe it! You are worth it and we're all here for you! Didnt think I could do it, but here I am at 4 months today! Feels so good and no hangover for me one day at a time!!!

Keep coming back!!!!!
Lani

Doll · MIP Old Timer

jc2008 wrote:

I know this is only the beginning of a long, long road but I'm so glad that I'm on it.

Think of it as a journey, not a destination.....The road of sobriety is short when you travel it one day at the time....

Congratulations on Step 1! May God continue to bless you.....

((Hugs))

Dave Harm · Senior Member

I always have a sense of empathy for a newcomer. I can remember my first day without a drink. It scared me to death!

What a lonely place to be - Knowing you can't live life with alcohol, but you can't imagine a life without it. That is lonely!

At that point it is truly - one day at a time, heck for me it was one minute at a time.

Just stay "brutally honest" and it will get better

Creating dreams, from the nightmares of hell