Hi all. I just put in the toughest week of my life. I'm 16 days without a drink, and a month without a tranquilizer tablet. My two addictions came back to bite me in the ass last week. The first week I was unusually calm, I had a feeling it wouldn't last. Then came the anxiety, which spilled over into panic attacks when I had to leave the house. I remained inside, afraid of everyone and everything, listening to hours of speaker recordings on aaprimarypurpose.com. I think they saved my sanity, certainly preserved my sobriety. I did go to my meetings, but could not muster up the courage to share. That's OK, I was there to listen really. That will all come later. I went through the 25 part Big Book workshop on that site. Staying up all hours, listening and reading. My mind and body seem to be settling down a bit. I have no illusions but that it may be a respite. All I can do is keep going the way I am, and take progress in sobriety at it's own pace. Love to all my friends in the fellowship, no matter where they are in the world. Malcolm
P.S. On the aaprimarypurpose.com site, under rotating speakers section, you will see a recording by my good friend and mentor George S. that I sent them last week (with his permission, of course) which I urge you to listen to. You'll be glad you did, trust me.
Wow Malcolm! It sounds like you are certainly willing to go to ANY lengths to stay sober, and I am so very happy for you. I know a bit about addiction to "side dishes" myself, and the challenges and strange extended withdrawal symptoms, mind and body, which go along with that. One thing is for certain: Every day without a drug or a drink is a day closer to feeling healthy and whole and sane again. You are really an inspiration to me today, and I am definitely going to check out that website! Sounds great!!!
Take Care!!!! You are on the road to feeling much much better! SO dleighted to hear that you are perservering, friend!!!!!!
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Yea Malcolm! It does get easier! "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path"
The more I read and learn about AA, the more I can relate to it and use it in my daily life! At first it just didnt sink in and I didnt understand the slogans or even what the big book was trying to show me. Each day I learn something new which helps me on my road to recovery! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I'm sorry that you've had such a tough week, but you've made it and a huge congratulations to you.
It sounds as if you did everything correctly and that is such a great attitude and approach to have. Thanks for mentioning that website, I'll check it out when I have a little more time.
I'm sure that you are an inspiration to many people. Well done.
Please keep posting and letting us know how it's going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks to you all for your replies. Identification is the great strength of AA, of that there is no doubt. I'm so glad i'm in AA, and that their is such a strong bond of understanding and hope. I get it at meetings, through my sponsor and here. I know there is a long road ahead of me, and that it will not always be an easy path, but from listening at meetings and reading here I know it is the right path for me.
Go raibh maith agat agus Slainte! (Thank you very much and good health in the Irish language)
congrats on 2+ weeks! Aim for 30 days, then 60, 90.... It get a lot easier as you go. And it's deffinately easier to stay sober, then to get sober so don't let anyone buy you a pint along the way I posted this info about Post acute withdraw that will help understand what's going on with you body now that it's not getting booze on a regular basis. It will take your body some time to get used to that, then this PAW will fade away. These are from the book "Staying Sober" click on the second part of the link (for some reason the board inserts a pretext)
Thanks Dean, I had a few of those "oh, yeah" moments reading through that information. I was going to say it makes for depressing reading, not knowing if these feelings are going to be a permanent feature of a sober life for me. Then I was thinking, this is the kind of mindset I have been running from for years. Unable to face up to the realities and uncertainties of life. If it is going to be tough, the best I can do is pray for the wisdom to learn to control it, practice a recovery program and focus on the joys of life. Thanks Wanda, I do try to take it one step at a time. I know from the freedom those in the rooms express that it will be worth the effort. Malcolm
Hi Malcom, I had strong paw symptoms early on. Had trouble concentrating, felt irritable alot and lethargic. It just felt like "having a bad day" 6 or 7 days a week for the first couple weeks. Then I have two good days in the next couple weeks, then every other day. By the 3rd month half the week was good and half not so good. The main thing is that stress brings the symptoms of paw on. So if we avoid stress (read don't get angry), eat and sleep well, take vitimens, and exercize (really important) it will minimalize the symptoms.
You only have to go through this once, if you stay sober. I does get better and in a short time you'll feel better than you ever have.
Thanks Dean. It's a real boost to hear from someone who has been there, and come out the other side. I told the guy I used to work with yesterday that I would work today for a while. Then, of course, I immediately regretted it. I did go in, and it wasn't so bad. I have to keep myself from becoming house bound through fear. Everything will be ok in the end. I can sense it. Malcolm
no problem Malcom. I'm sure that my experience was middle of the road typical for all us in early sobriety. It's kind of like having a sprained ankle or knee. You just have to go easy on yourself and lower your expectations for a few months and one day you'll realize that you haven't had a "bad day" in a week or two or a month or two. And that's the time when we have redouble our efforts at staying sober as we tend to forget very quickly where we came from and where we can go back to as soon as tomorrow. Be good to yourself you're worth it brother.