Leading Meetings

nmike · Veteran Member

Leading Meetings

lani · MIP Old Timer

Hi Mike:
Dont know the rules but bottom line..."it was a good meeting!!!" Way to go!!! Lani

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Thanks for holding the meeting. Its better to have a meeting than none at all. This is a very good question Nancy. I go to both fellowships myself. I have chaired a couple Al-Anon meetings at others insistence or when no one else would step forward. I have come to prefer not to do it. Actually, today I would ask around the room for a chair and always found somebody that way. Even though I fully qualify as a member of Alanon, I keep my activity to a service level such as carrying books or opening and closing the meeting doors.

My concerns about chairing Alanon meetings come from this; Although its supposed to be a perfect world not every Alanon member is comfortable in an alcoholics presence. My experience is that this often takes a few years for the fear this disease spreads to subside. This could work the same way for AA newcomers. A new member could be easily confused and not be able to form the trust that is necessary to share and start the path of recovery.

Though I often would like the two fellowships to meet together. Long term experience has shown that we loose effectiveness when we do so. If you could, try to put yourself in the newcomers chair. Maybe it would be easier for you to imagine if you imagined coming into ALANON upset, alittle scared and wanting nothing more to unload about how someone elses alcoholism had impacted your life and find some people that would make you feel not alone or however you felt when you first came into Al-Anon. :)

Would not a Loud Mouthed Brazen Joke Cracking Alcoholic Tuggboat send you packing? Well perhaps not you but do you have any friends that might feel this way?

This is the spiritual crux of the matter, how to continue to increase in effectiveness and understanding. Even Progress not perfection requires us to keep a watchful eye for the clouds ahead.

A renowned psychiatrist, who served as a nonalcoholic trustee of the A.A. General Service Board, made the following statement: Singleness of purpose is essential to the effective treatment of alcoholism. The reason for such exaggerated focus is to overcome denial. The denial associated with alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful and affects the patient, helper, and the community. Unless alcoholism is kept relentlessly in the foreground, other issues will usurp everybodys attention.
Here is a link to that quote and it has some guidlines that you were asking for. It defines open and closed meetings among other things and is as close to rules that I know of. It looks very similar to the first Pamplet I was ever handed by an oldtimer, so I'll "Pass it On"

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_information_aa.cfm?PageID=11

Here's more about the concern for the alcoholic I spoke of as being the spiritual core of our seperate fellowships.

To illustrate, let's review some typical experiences. Years ago, we hoped to give AA membership to our families and to certain non-alcoholic friends who had been greatly helpful. They had their problems, too, and we wanted them in our fold. Regretfully, we found that this was impossible. They couldn't make straight AA talks; nor, save a few exceptions, could they identify with new AA members. Hence, they couldn't do continuous Twelfth Step work. Close to us as these good folks were, we had to deny them membership. We could only welcome them at our open meetings.
Here is a link to the above article. It was written By Bill W., Lois's husband of course. I hope these two are enough to help you find your own path. :)

http://www.barefootsworld.net/aa-problemsother.html

-- Edited by Tuggboat at 20:32, 2008-02-15

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Don't think I'd really want an Al - Anoner chairing an AA meeting......3rd tradition comes to mind, along with ES&H, and an Al-Anon member only wouldn't cut it.

Just my 2 cents.