Sometimes we can't help thinking: Why can't we ever drink again? We know it's because we're alcoholics, but why did we have to get that way? The answer is that at some time in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our "tolerance point." When we passed this point, we passed from a conditon in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink, we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation for the Day ~
In a race, it is when the goal is in sight that heart and nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the breaking point. So with us. The goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest records are made by people who ran well, with brave, stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to victory.
Prayer for the Day ~
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.
Hazelden
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Boy did I need to hear that today!!! I was pondering all those things today. Why me Lord? Some days I think it sucks that Im an alcoholic! A few people I know recently have gone back out, come back in and I start to think..(Thats my 1st problem, thinking) See, theyre back. Then I say, What the "h" am I thinking. Like the runner....I have worked to hard and come to far to succumb to these feelings of thinking, its ok, one wont hurt. Hate when all this happens but I know, it will probably be a life long thing that I can and MUST deal with!
Prayed for the damn obsession to leave me and thankfully this time again it did! It just really scares me that I am this close to my own demise!!!!!Auughh!
Thanks Lani
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Me too, Lani. Today. I rue my youth slipping away & my fear & inadequacies standing in the way of my imagination & joy for life. I've even been missing the fact I don't have children but then with my delusions of grandeur I'm sure I'd have maybe resented them & the domesticating effect the responsibility would have on my life. How small is that? I'm not in love with myself, today. I hate being an alcoholic. Today. I'm resenting my imperfections & not having dreams coming true. Today. I'm ill at ease & wishing I could have the man, job, intelligence, influence, giving & joy of my dreams. Today. I think I better sit down & write out a gratitude list Today lol I'm gutted, full of self~loathing & feeling useless & inadequate. Today. Cunning, baffling & powerful indeed. Sometimes this world simply seems too much for me & I don't know what to do with it. I'm not good enough for my life & my life isn't good enough for me. Shit.. I better speak to my Sponsor. Sooner rather than later lol I feel better getting all this out right now. The main thing is that I am here. Alive. With, perhaps, another Day to live tomorrow. I don't have to be like this. All I have to do is reach out for love because that's all this is.. A state of mind. If I keep on keeping on, no matter how humble, I know all I have & have ever done will add upto a life. All I have to do is live it well no matter how little I have or am. It's love that makes the difference & I'm never too old to overcome damage in me since & from childhood. I wish I had more to offer. Then, maybe I'd be 'acceptable', 'cool', 'divine'. It's just for today. I know I'm worth something & I'm loved despite whatever I may 'think' about myself. All I know is I have to accept me, just as I am, just for today & think about someone else. It's hard to be loving & helpful when I feel so little of myself I suspect I've nothing to offer.. There it is.. My malady.. My defect.. My self~pity.. Gotchya! My nasty diseased worm ~ Wriggle out of it you.. You're not needed! And may I pray for you & have mercy on your soul! Not you, Lani lol I've just caught myself at it again & talking to that defect lol Thanks for sharing in reply to this post. I needed to know I'm not alone. Now we can both be free. I can feel some peace again just for today for a moment. May I wake up grateful tomorrow. I shall ask & handover before sleep. Thankyou, God bless you, Laurie x Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 20:53, 2008-02-13
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Hi Danielle: Im glad I shared and you shared!!!! It does take some of the sting out of the crazy way we can get to thinking! So, just imagine if we were still drinking!?!! What a stinkin mess we would both be hahahaha!!! Ive heard people say they were glad to be an alcoholic! I will embrace that thought and be thankful that because I am, I have many new friends, a place I can become the "real" me and be accepted and a HP who I can love and Trust!
Friends I can go to with my troubles and who are there, offering love and "suggestions" and making my day a heck of a lot brighter!!!!!
For that Im thankful, and no matter how shitty life was, thats the past and we move on!!!! So yes crappy, ugly worm, die and burn!!! heehee xo Lani
-- Edited by lani at 23:18, 2008-02-13
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Surrender & sail ~~~~~>>>* These are the tough bits before the easy bits & after the easy bits.. It all passes.. Everything changes & some things stay the same.. Always moving & each time we taste pleasure & achievement, tis that little bit sweeter than before so of course the hard bits seem harder than before by comparison! Such relief.. Keep on moving.. Keep on pushing through. Life truly is a wonder & a treasure to be lived. To have helped one other person, even for a moment, is to have lived successfully. Thankyou all for helping me in my moments of weakness. Singing our song back to me.. Helping me to remember when to Surrender... Bliss.. Danielle x
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
