To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good.... Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone." AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy--like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity--not a high IQ or a college degree.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
This is one the most powerful messages in AA literature. One that our ability to think, create, and solve problems intellectually is not an asset in our strugle to become sober. And secondly, for alot of us including this alcoholic, it's an obstacle to our recovery. Thinking absolutely gets in the way of getting sober. I was far too smart (I thought) for this simple program and reasoned that I was not as sick as most (which turned out to be true, I was sickER) and didn't need to work as hard (like in school, btw I never graduated, HS 135 IQ down the drain I thought.) and spent the majority of my useful time daydreaming about my psuedo reality (who I thought I was, who you thought I was, and where I thought my life was going). Fortunately I slipped up one day and told my very wise first sponsor that I had trouble reading because I would slip into day dreaming. He immediately told me that day dreaming was "self indulgent". Of course, like several other behaviors that I was involed in (like womanizing) I didn't know what that term meant so I asked him. He laughed and said "we call it mental masturbation". Wasting perfectly good time. that could be used to be doing things for your recovery while tittilating yourself (kinda like spending too time on the internets lol). It boiled down to exactly what i heard many times in meeting. "You can not think your way to feeling better, you must act (walk the talk) your way into feeling better." "Working" the program is not sitting around thinking about it." Making a list of things to do is a good use of time, but must immediately get up and start doing them, otherwise it's just vain attempt of the mind trying to control what's going on on the outside.
I've been blessed with a career in construction. One the most blessed aspects of this trade is that on bigger projects, you can not plan everything in advance. There are problems to be solved during the process and the answers will not avail themselves until you get to that junction of the project. Perfectionism will immobolize you if you think that you can "have it all planned out". So I tell my guys, when I see them standing around thinking (for too long) about how to solve problems that they are not yet faced with that. "You can't build this thing in your mind, you have to get in there and wrestle with it for awhile and more will be revealed. It's possible that you may have to take a couple steps backwards, but progress is often like that. Two steps forward and one step back, ebb and flow. If you don't get moving, you're not going anywhere".
Thanks: When I THINK I can just.... Have one drink... work part of the steps.... pray a little... Then I know my butt is in trouble!!!!!
Thats when we run for help, knowing that by myself I can do nothing! I still need help everyday with the big and small things! I love that I can share with others where Im at and know that theyve been there too! This too will pass and on to the next challenge for the day!!!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thankyou for posting today, Jen. Thankyou for your sharing, Dean. I needed to hear that ES&H right at this moment & it's helped me to surrender again. My heart & head were hurting from the fight & I hadn't realised the grip I had back hold of things. Thanks for being here. Sometimes I wish I didn't need you all so much but that's my pride & ism. I am moved to tears in quiet relief & gratitude & feel maybe I can have love inside & have faith for health to sink back in again cuz I've let it. When I reject all that can keep me strong & well, I alienate myself & then I don't know how to cope. You've all given me something of what I needed again & I needed to give myself to this simple program. Easy does it.. But do it! Thankyou. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I have a friend who would introduce himself as "I'm Joe and I'm a drunk" He would often share that a person can be too smart for recovery, but a person couldn't be too dumb. I have a shelf full of recovery book but as my mentor would say they won't do me any good till I've taken the 3 foot drop. From using my head to using my heart. You don't think your way through recovery, you feel your way. Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.