I am new to A.A. on the outside, just out of prison

trick · Member

I am new to A.A. on the outside, just out of prison

Wren · Senior Member

Hey Trick, welcome to MIP. This is a great place for support, for sharing our E, S and H, between meetings. Meetings meetings meetings. Newly "out", you're going to find that it's so easy to slip back into connecting with old "friends", and in hitting meetings, getting involved in service work, finding a good sponsor? you can find a whole new circle to relate to, keep you thinking in the positive and not the negative, old behavioral thinking. I know it isn't easy, but the journey will reward your spirit over and over again. Hang tough, and keep posting. Sharing your own esh will be invaluable for the newcomer to sobriety. ((hug)) Chris

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Tommy,

welcome and congrats on nearly 8 years of sobriety. I think that adjusting to
you new environment would be a lot like early sobriety. I would get very busy and fill my weekly schedule with meetings daily. Then I'd fill up my spare time (aside from work) with extra curicular activities that include exercise and socializing. Dumb stuff like bowling, tennis, bicycle ridding, working out, walking in parks, joining clubs... just stay busy and buy time till the day that you don't recall doing anything different.

I got sober in Va. and moved to FL when I had 3 years and it took a few years to feel like this is my home. Nothing to dred just that it takes to time. It's the routines that save our ass when things aren't going well. The better your routine, the more prepared you'll be when life throws those curve balls. Best of luck to you.

Dean

trick · Member

Thank you Wren! As I write this Iam trying to get a ride to an A>A> meeting tonight.

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Hi trick!!

While I have not done any "hard time", I have done more than my share of county time in the past, and I wanted to tell you that just your being here and reaching out strengthens my own resolve to stay sober, one day at a time. I thank you and my HP (Higher Power) for that.

I am sure it must be overwhelming for you to once again have the ability to make thousands of daily choices, in a life free from incarceration and "public management". There are many stressors and temptations out here, and more so perhaps than the temptations that I know are also present in the correctional system. I would like to remind you that no matter what, WE are not "Bad people trying to get Good; WE are sick people trying to get well." And it is indeed a process, as I am sure you know, having been active in recovery for some years now.

I emphasize the word WE, because it is for me the single most important aspect in my foundation for a better sober life. There is no way that we can stay sober, no matter how many times we have read the Big Book, no matter how much we pray, without other recovering people in our lives to guide us. So my hope is that as you make this transition, you will find a sponsor and a home group full of individuals who are serious about not only sobriety, but about living a good FULL life as well, as a result of the gift of sobriety. As alcoholics, our minds do not function correctly when we are doing all our own thinking- we have to let others help us to see the big picture, no matter how long we have been sober.

Welcome, and I am so happy to share this part of my journey with you, trick. Make sure you reach out and take advantage of all that AA's solid members have to offer!!!

Bless you, and have a terrific weekend!!!

Joni

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Tommy. More New Beginnings, hey! Thanks for joining us here. I'm glad to hear of your success in sobriety already. Working at it since 2000 is pretty awe~inspiring & you'll be well on your way with some great foundations 1Day@aTime. I suppose life on the outside without a drink may seem somewhat different now & I imagine another relearning for you away from how it was before but it can be done. There is life after everything. Life after mistakes, life after loss, life after prison, life after everything & especially life after a drink. You're doing really well & it sounds like your determined to keep what you have. It may take a lot of time & concentration to begin with. Getting into a routine outside of those four walls will be a wonderful challenge & opportunity but as has already been suggested, getting yourself to meetings regularly & making new friends & contacts will help you to build a new life for yourself & new meanings. Freedom can mean so much to you even more now after what you've been through. I hope you enjoy filling your time with good things. As always, the best can be yet to come when we're continuing to invest in ourselves today. I hope you draw on all the support you can get & I hope you enjoy being here with us too. Share your ES&H with us & keep on doing the next right thing, Tommy. I'm glad you're here. Happy Sober Day :) Danielle

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Hope your still doing fine. I remember my first day out of rehab. That was only thirty days. Boy was i scared.

Your best bet in my opinion is to jump back onto the first step HARD. Your sobriety date doesn't go anywhere. Every new experience would make me uncomfortable. Every party would make me feel like I deserved to join the party. Above all be honest with yourself. Any thought of a drink, acknowledge that you are powerless over alcohol. I used to use the phrase. "Thats my disease talking to me" You have the knowledge but you are going to have to learn how to apply it real fast. Many quick decisions coming up. I used the criteria "How will this affect my sobriety" Will it take me closer or further from a drink? I wanted to start working out again with an old friend that was in a room above my old bar. I figured that wouldn't get me drunk but it would get me closer to a drink. I made ALL my decisions like this. First Things First. Jobs, girls etc etc.

When upset. say the Serenity prayer. When someone asks you if you want a drink, say something like Not Today. Ask God in the morning for help. every thought of a drink should at least be mentioned in a meeting. You don't have to make a big deal of it if it isn't a big deal but its our secrets that torture and drive the obsession of the mind. One day at a time, just don't drink. Then thank God at night for the day of sobriety.

You have a big advantage, sorry if I'm being too direct, I figure a lot of little stuff might help more than some hearty slaps across the back. It was a big hard transition for me from being inside walls to outside. By the way, Congrats on Getting out, as we say "WELCOME BACK!!!! :)

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Howdy bud..:)

Learning how to live on the outside....after doing time on the inside, isnt easy...

I remember the fear and paranoia after hitting the streets..even tho I didnt want to admit it.

Grab on to one or two guys in AA, and hang on...and hang tough...

Its a whole new ball game...and time takes time...

And feel free to email me at philipld@hotmail.com

Ill give you a call anytime...doesnt matter where you are..

From one ex con to another...

It WILL get better!!

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP! Please keep coming back.

((((Hugs)))

Jen

lani · MIP Old Timer

Hi Trick:
Welcome!!!!!
Its interesting....Yesterday at a meeting a gentleman shared that he just got out of jail and as tears were streaming down his face he admitted that he drank the night before! It took alot of courage for him to share this. The topic of the meeting was "having fun in AA" and using your resources! The men in that room sent a book around and entered their phone numbers for him to call if he ever got in that predicament again....

Get to some meetings, meet some people and most importantly, use the phone! I found myself going to a funeral the other day and thought, "Im fine, I can handle this!" Didnt have the urge to pick up but as a safety net, if you will, I made a call just to let someone know where I was, and what was going on. Funeral was beautiful, called this person after and never had the desire to drink!

Im sure you'll meet alot of people you can relate to and who have been where youve been! Good luck to you!

Lani

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Trick,

Welcome to MIP. I do hope that you'll stay around and share some ES&H with us.

I think that I would get to as many meetings as possible and also get as many telephone numbers as you can. There'll be plenty of guys who'll be more than willing to help you. And, keeping myself busy was so helpful to me in the early days of my sobriety. Reading AA literature helped to keep me focused and made me realize that I wasn't on my own.

Please let us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

trick · Member

Hi Phil!, thanks for the reply. Obviously you understand what I am going through. I've only been out 9 days, been to 5 meetings and would like to attend more but I am without transportation and new to texas as am from new york. I do have a sponsor who I call once a day. I was wondering, when you first got out were you you nervous to go out your front door, I am. Went to grocery store and mall and almost imediately I became overwhelmed and wanted to get back to my room at the house. Nervous around people, even at A.A meetings feeeling so out of place. I really thought that my 7& half years in the fellowship prepared me for the outside world and my sobriety, yet after being sober for so long, I felt a compelling desire to have a drink last night, did'nt though and what is glaringly obvious is I still can't manage my own life without the help of our fellowship. What is keeping me from my first drink is the thought that this one will kill me which should be enough incentive, yet we both know it is not. God grant me the serenity! I will E- Mail you as soon as I figure out how to do so. Been using the computer all of five days.

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Yup Bud..

Everything youre experiencing is normal ...:)

Just ride it out....just for today...

Hell....

I was scared to death....:)

Like a kid learning to walk...and my emotions were all over the dam map...

Hang Tough...

Youre not alone..

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Yeah Phil, this is normal. I felt it and like I said, I was only coming out of rehab. I had funny almost neurotic delusions lol. I was scared to death.

I had a recurring one on the way to my closest AA meeting. :) I had to pass my old Bar. My car hadn't been repaired in five years and I was afraid the wheels would fall off right in front of the bar, next I would slam into the wall, then I would fly through the window, and then I would slide across the bar on my back and hit my head into the Beer tap and it would flip open and flood my mouth with Pabst blue Ribbon. Just the brand is enough to make me drive several blocks around town to the meeting. :)

I had another one. I had this Big rough therapist lady with a monkey on her dashboard as her higher power. She'd be nice and all but then start pointing that big finger at me telling me I was going to get drunk. She was like 6'4 and shoulders like a bulldozer. scared me to death. Then one night she told me. Your not going to get drunk yourself, I'm going to make you drink! Sheesh :o I skidaddled in my rattly old car home and for weeks I kept thinking she was around the next dark corner with a syringe full of grain alcohol. I knew that was the plan. I just knew it. If she could get just a little alcohol in me, I would HAVE to drink. :o

well Trick, if you aren't as goofy as this, your doing just fine. If you ARE as goofy as this, hang tight anyhow. I made it and so can you. :) White knuckles eventually gave way to a stronger faith.

Tugg

trick · Member

Tuggboat,

Thanks for the input and yes I am as goofy as you. By the way your cartoon face resembles my old drunken expression, I pray that you still dont look like that. 11 days of freedom and still sober, so I should be grateful for this as a recovering alcoholic it is our main objective in life which as you know is an acccomplishment for guys like us in itself.
It took me about 6 years into our fellowship before I truly felt the serenity in my life. God bless our fellowship for it has been here in our rooms where I finally learned the meaning of my earthly existance and that I couldb't change the whole world, but changing myself a little each day. Progress! Stopped focusing on the world problems, only my own. Learning to forgive. We have to do this if we are attempting to make our amends for all our harm. Striving to be spiritually whole, pulling the slivers out one by one, guilt, shame, remorse, anger, hurt, and resentments. It is the developement of our soles, which is the true purpose of the 12 principles and all we have to do is surrender. wink

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Very well put Tommy, please continue, your slant on sobriety can benefit us all. And you "have to give it away to keep it". wink

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 20:23, 2008-02-11

trick · Member

My alcoholism & sobriety is my salvation. It will never leave me, it guides me. It is me.My alcoholism was and is the pathway upon which I made my lifes travels and choices. it paved the way, so to speak, for all that I did and will become. Therefore I embrace it with open acceptance for all its harshness. I have a great feeling of clarity about this, of complete understanding. I can turn and look back on my path and see how my drinking made all my choices. I look forward and can see where it will take me. I don't really walk along this path any more. It moves beneath me, carrying me, like a great ribbon through time, it carried me here. My SOBRIETY IS THE ROCK UPON WHICH I MAKE MY STAND. I AM A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. God Bless our fellowship!

Tuggboat · Senior Member

I wouldn't say I look a whole lot better Trick lol

Your right about that sobriety being a rock we can stand on it. I've wne tthrough some stuff that that at the end of the day all i seemed to have left was that rock and on the rock i stood back up on the next day.

Thanks for the encouragement. I've had a rough day but I did well with it and tomorrow despite my fears right now, I can stand and do the same.

Or maybe better. :)