Welcome to MIP! Keep coming back. I am an Alanoner. I come to this board and go to open AA meetings occasionally. I want to learn to let go of my AHsober and to support the alcoholics. At meetings and here online, There is power in our stories and our pain. It may not seem like you are making progress but you are. With every story of reaching sobriety if even for a couple of days, it is success in beating the disease. And the disease effects family and friends of the alcoholic. Thanks for your sharing.
I agree whole heartedly with Nancy/nmike. I cried, pleaded, begged, screamed for my AH to seek sobriety. All to no avail! Oh so wise was me......NOT!!!!! I, myself, knew many blessings of sobriety. Yet there I was......trying with all heart and not having an iota of what this disease is about, trying to help someone I love very much. Had to hit my own "bottom" even though I don't drink/have drank little. (Yes, I believe that there is a "bottom" that those who cope with another's drinking has to hit.) It hurt like everything I had heard about Hell. Ended up here......."learning" And have the utmost respect for those who have realized and found courage to take that first step. Yes, you may "falter" and even fall down. Just like I did! Took time.....one day at a time.....before the message penetrated.....and gave way to understanding. Hope you newcomers stick around. Don't have to say a word if you don't want to. That's what I did for quite awhile. And as you work your own personal programs, you will become more and more aware of the miracles with each step you take. WELCOME!!!!! learning/Wanda
Thanks girls! Its good to get another point of view! Thinking about it, we all, or at least me, could also use Al-anon as part of my program. My plan is to eventually hit some of the meetings but for today need to take care of me, the alkie! I did go to a few meetings back 5 years ago and enjoyed them. Funny thing is, they never mentioned working the steps, getting a sponser?? Unless I missed it. Is it part of the program, just curious? Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Lani, I can't answer your question about a sponsor. I "quit" before I got started. When I checked it out all I heard was LOTS of bitching. (Pardon my language.) All I could think at that point was, "What the hell? I've done all the bitching, complaining, crying, screaming ect in the world. It's proved nothing. There's got to be another way." That gave way to seeking what it was like to be in the "other's shoes" so checked out AA. Decided the other perspective might be beneficial. OMG....out of the mouths of babes. LOL In all seriousness, and with honesty, the alcoholics HAVE given me the insight that I needed to be more compassionate understanding, ect. They have shown me that they are just as frustrated, confused, challenged, ect as I even though I don't drink. Baffling....yes this disease is. So for me no there is no sponser per say. I myself was brought up in Catholism. Prayed went to church ect. It was when all hell broke loose between I and AH and I was hitting my bottom that I sought counsel of a very wise priest who carefully and sagely asked me questions about what I WAS DOING/SAYING. One thing led to another after our conversations and it was realized I myself needed some character defects tweeking. I kept coming back here, kept thinking of the 12 steps, the commandments (in the Bible), reading reading......thinking and thinking on these things from VARIOUS sources.....from the medical, social, spiritual ect ect ect. The more I read the and ponder and "acted" upon these things the more I could feel MYSELF changing, learning and growing. In turn other aspects of my life have become better. AH, he still drinks. All three of our children have at various times individually attempted to reason with him why sobriety would be much better. They know he is in trouble healthwise. Though I suggested to seek counsel for them so far......"no". As for me, the last conversation we had.....I ended up in tears...... Not so much for the biting rude cruel things he had said to me, but because I trully understood that alcohol is taking it's toll and the most I myself can do is refrain from bitching about it to him in anyway and pray for him. It deeply saddened me yet simultaneously I went directly to the 12 steps and pondered upon them. The so called "sponsor" I have are the voices of those who have the disease! And I highly respect and regard your voices as those of wisemen. And for me, you have changed my life in many ways. This disease brings us togethor. Both sides benefit in the program somehow someway. The key is listening. Silencing our egotistical voices to allow the other's perspective to be heard. Hell, no it wasn't easy. It took me as many tries as anyone with the disease. Yet over time the messages were slowly penetrating of what that priest had said. He was one of my MANY sponsors. Overtime, I have come to understand that it is not just one who guides it is serveral. We just have to have opened minds and receptive hearts to recognize them. Don't know if this will be beneficial to you. It has worked for me. Wanda
Defintiely a HUGE welcome coming your way from Akron, Ohio. Please stick around and see the Miracles In Progress that are here daily to testify to what AA can do for us!!!! You are all miracles and you are welcome to our wonderful family here.
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
