A friend of mine in the program (we have the same sponsor for years now).... This friend and I were never really close in years back. This friend has always been somewhat of a complainer, and an introvert of sorts and always always overly sensitive. So much so that it was hard to form a real "friendhsip". There were times where I suspected she was jealous of me for some reason....
Anyway, about a month ago, we rode to a meeting with my sponsor, and me and this friend got a long a bit better. She actually called me, and asked me if she could come over so I could color her hair for her. So she came, and it was nice, and we had coffee and talked for awhile. She said she was into scrap booking, so I said let's scrapbook together some time.
Well, the week later, she says she's taking off and moving to the next state over with some guy she really doesn't even like, but who is really attracted to her, and she is going to move in with him, and see it's all good because he is an old-timer in AA..... So anyway, off she went, and no phone, so no way to keep in touch really.
OK.
Now, she came back for a few days over the weekend to stay with my sponsor, just for the weekend. The friend called once she got there, and said, "Just email me because I will use sponsor's computer, as they use cel phones only and there is no phone here at the house." I said maybe we can get together Saturday for an hour or so. She says she wants to go to the craft store to get some scrapbooking stuff. (she has her car here, as well...) I say ok, well, we will get in touch.
So, yesterday, I did not get up until after NOON, as I am anemic right now and have been understandably tired. I puttered around the house, and did some cleaning and grocery shopping. Then I remembered to contact her. I emailed her, as I said I would, telling her that I was sorry but I had gotten up so late, and I was cleaning and trying to get my studying for my FINALS this week done, and to let me know if she had any time free on Sunday.
Well, she called me today obviously pissed off. She said she had left me several messages on my phone. (This was before I had even gotten up yesterday). I did not get my messages. She said she was here until Tuesday but she is really "busy for the rest of the time". I could tell she was really really p.o.ed and trying to make me feel the full extent of guilt possible.
We did not have any plans written in stone. I have had health issues discovered about me this past week, which I relayed to her. I have a very low blood count which leaves me extremely tired and groggy. I have finals in school this week, plus a Medical Job Fair on Wednesday, and a ton of other stuff on top of it. If she has a weekend full of plans, why would she be so upset at me??? If she had logged on and gotten her email like she SAID she was going to keep in contact by, she would have gotten the message.
I am just mad now. I know that I dropped the ball, and I am sorry. But the way she really just sat there silent on the phone in a self-righteous way really got to me.... am I totally wrong here?
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Hey hun! That would sorta get me too. But, as we all know, can't control someone else. All you can do is take care of you......I'd suggest reading a bit of the BB, maybe praying some, and/or hitting a meeting, talk to your sponsor.
Don't let that chick rent space in your head. Anyone who'd move in with a guy for the reasons you stated, ain't playing with a full deck!
(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
OK, no longer have blood boiling here..... this person has some mental problems, I have discovered (legitimate ones)... and don't we all, now that I think about it....
I said I was sorry, now time to move on.
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
That said, I have troubles of my own making new good friends. Making friends takes time, energy and commitment. I guess it makes the other person feel good to be respected like that and I don't mean any disrespect so I've just backed off of commitments. Learning to say no has been a good lesson but I think I'd like to go beyond that and someday relearn how to say yes. lol Heheheehe
Hi Joni: Did you ever notice how we are all such "dwellers" on the past. You did your part, made amends and now its time to move on! Easier said than done especially for me.
I have a friend Ive been close to since 8th grade. Were kind of on and off the last couple years but I still consider her one of my best friends. Our history together is long and sordid at times. She made a comment that someone referred to my husband saying about her "she's my wifes best friend" Said to me, "we just laughed, shes not my best friend"-Does that make sense? Anyways, I felt so hurt! Almost called her back to discuss it but ya know, Thats her issue, not mine! Being stubborn and now I wont call her until she callls me. Its been bugging me but your post gives me the opportunity to just deal with it and forget about it! Finally! So good luck to you....Luckily shes out of town and you dont have to deal with her! heehee Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Sounds like she has a resentment. :) the dubious luxury of normal people.
One thing I'm grateful for is that I cannot harbor resentments anymore so I work at nipping them in the bud today. Now there are other poor people that can afford them but like bad credit card debt, it keeps draggin them down too but not toward a drink. I'm kinda glad I can't be like that anymore. It is in my mind as they say, a DUBIOUS luxury.
