I just found this and i wanted to introduce myself and say hi to everyone. I havent been an alchoholic for very long, about 3 years, but i fell hard and fast. I just turned 22 last week and i feel like im out of control. I had gastric bypass surgery in march of this year and i was only able to stop drinking for almost 2 months after i had surgery, my body processes alchohol differently now so it hits me like a ton of bricks when i drink. I must confess that i have never been to an AA meeting. i am in therapy and my therapist suggested i go but i have a horrible social anxiety issue that makes it pretty much impossible for me to stand up in front of people and talk or do anything (unless im drunk) and so i was really happy to find this. I figured i can get some help and support without having to feel so socially afraid. I was trying my best to be sober on my own and i only made for a little over a month, its time for me to step it up. thanks for reading!
Welcome to MIP!!! A quick suggestion on AA meetings: why not try just going and sitting and listening at first? You don't have to stand up and introduce yourself at your first meeting. All of us have generally had your same fears starting out, but it gets much, much better. Just try to make a first meeting, and take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time!!! Please keep coming back!!!
^ Good advice... i've only been to 4 meetings so far and i've listened and not spoken at all of them so far. I will speak, I just want to feel completely comfortable etc before I do. I'm enjoying it though, meetings make a big difference. Judging from your username i'm guessing you're a girl. I'm a guy, 21 years old, and I go to a mens only meeting every thursday. I'm not sure if you would, but I find it a hell of a lot easier to be with a bunch of guys who are just talking to a bunch of other guys and guys stuff. :P Maybe a womens only meeting would be a good start for you? Just a suggestion... at first I was nervous as hell about going to my weekly meeting, now I look forward to it every week. :)
Hi Missy. Welcome to MIP.......As said, you don't have to talk at an AA meeting. No one's gonna make you do anything you don't want to do. It's really not as scary as it seems.....I do know how you feel though, it took me a week of riding by AA before I could stop and go in....Why not start with calling? Your local chapter will be listed in the phone book. Give em a call and tell whoever answers the phone what you just told us. You'll be amazed at the suggestions you can get to overcome this...Someone may offer to pick you up. Someone may offer to 'meet' you at the front door.....Give it a shot. What have ya got to lose?
(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
You guys are amazing! Admitting you need help at an early age, outstanding. Think of it this way, nip it in the bud now and save yourself a lifetime of hell. With AA, psychologists, Internet, WHATEVER IT TAKES, we can get thru this! Believe it. I know people that went to meetings for a year before they were comfortable speaking, no biggie, the meetings still work, you get something out of them and they can keep you sober. I am relatively new too (46 days, woot woot). I can't go back to the way it was, drinking and using, I just can't. I'm finding that the more help I am asking for, the more is being offered. I am not religious but I'll tell ya, something out there wants this guy to get well!!!
Keep coming back, you're worth it! Scott
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Welcome Missy! Glad youre here and glad your sharing.... Try a few meetings and see what you think! I know quite a few people who were shy, never felt like they fit in an where, and WALAA!!! They are meeting new friends and feeling sooo good about themselves. You are not alone out there and once you hit a few meetings Im sure you'll feel the same way! I actually enjoy all my new friends and its cool when they start calling you by name, asking you to go out for coffee, etc.... Best of luck!!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome. I too would sudjest going to a meeting, and just sit and listen. There is nothing like face to face contact that on line support can not give. Internet hugs are great and all, but nothing like the real thing.
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Don't wait for your ship to come in... Swim out to it!
Welcome to MIP. I do hope that you'll stay around as it is a great cyber-family here.
As it's already been suggested, I would try finding your local AA meeting and just going along. You won't be 'forced' into speaking or doing anything that you don't want to do.
I remember my first meeting and there was no way that I wasn't going to speak up. It took me quite a while before I got used to talking at meetings. But, you don't have to unless you want to.
Please keep posting and letting us all know how it is going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Welcome to MIP, Missy! Thanks so much for your honesty. It sounds like you've been through alot & you recognise how alcohol & drinking is harm for you. I'm sorry it's caused you some difficult health issues but I'm glad you sound like you want to give yourself a chance at changing your habits to get well & recover. Life can improve when you put the drink down & much more so when you get help to keep it down :) I found it difficult to stop too. Meetings have helped me tremendously & for one who can be as socially awkward as me, going & meeting others with this same goal really helped. I was surprised how easy it was for me to start making friends & I wasn't expecting to develop a fun social life from going to meetings & having tea/coffees/meals out after. Women gave me their numbers & told me I could call whenever I wanted/needed. I now have lots of women I can call & have honest conversations with who know what it's like to turn this whole thing around & move forward together. AA gives me a sense of self~esteem because in my early months when I didn't think I had anything to offer I was told that simply sharing my journey with another helped them too. So even when you're new you're helping others already. When you make it to your first meetings remember this because all we want is to help each other stay sober 1Day@aTime. Friends & support are an amazing bonus. You no longer have to do it on your own. I hope you enjoy it here with us in the meantime. Love & luck, Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 12:51, 2008-01-31
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Hi Missy, the only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to talk or anything else. All we have is suggestions. I suggest that you go to some "Speakers Meetings" (call AA to find out where and when) and listen to experienced AAs tell how it was, how they got to AA, and how it is now. That's what all beginers do. I used to be very nervous and sit in the back of the room, shaking and sweating. Surely you'll have an easier time than I did. When women are newcomers to a meeting, generally they are greeted by several women in the group and made to feel wanted. And remember, this program is made up of people just like you.
Hi Missy nice to read your share dont worry about going to aa everyone there has been where you are today but if you want to stop drinking its the only place to get sober and stay sober. The people in the aa rooooooooms are so loving and will just want to help you . But only you can make that frist call good luck love Linda xxxxxx
Thanks for all your support guys i really appreciate it. Im trying to work up the courage to go to a meeting and i think i really will do it. Its nice to know im not alone!!
It's so normal to be anxious about those first meetings. I don't think I mumbled ten words my first year there. I would put my eyes down to make sure nobody noticed me (yeah, right), but I found that people were so glad to see me coming back on a regular basis, that I got alot of hugs and welcomes, and I just said " I'm listening tonight". Don't put expectations on yourself. Anticipation is always worse than the reality. The first meeting I went to in this town after we moved here? I immediatly told them " Hi I'm Chris, I'm dual addicted, and have social anxiety, so I'll listen until I feel I can talk". They totally accepted that. They've all been in the same place. How wonderful that you have decided to do this now, at your age. Looking forward to your posts. Be blessed, Wren
