I'm aware I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

I come from a family of drinkers.

My FAVOURITE member of my family was my Aunty Sheila. She was swigging vodka whilst being CEO of a major company. (Co-op)
When we realised she was an alcoholic, I was 18. I arranged for my family to babysit her and make sure she couldn't buy alcohol.

To varying degrees of success and failure.
One day she broke my mums (her sisters) thumb, nobody cared, my mum was a wanker. 
ALLEGEDLY my aunty STOPPED drinking because she took a swing at ME and couldn't forgive herself cos she respected me too much.

That was more than 20 years ago, in that time, when she was alive, she worked with AA and supported people. She has since passed.

I suffer with insomnia. I can't sleep for shit. For years I've started drinking at about 10pm til I knock myself out and go to bed and hopefully sleep.

In that time I realised I was an annoying A-hole when drunk so I got rid of social media and removed all of my contacts apart from those that I could remember off the top of my head cos I didn't want to annoy people.

Funny Story. JUST Spent £1,400 (last of inheritence from Aunty Sheila) on a New PC cos I'd decided instead of drinking myself to sleep, I'd play games til I got bored and go to bed.

That fell thru cos the new PC was broke. Returned it and bought a load more Carling to tide me over.