I have been through some sponsors in my sobriety. My first sponsor went awol when I had about 5 years. My next sponsor dies about 5 years after that (sober). I moved to the coast and when I moved back my sponsor suggested I get a sponsor back here so I did. Then I got a service sponsor and did the Concepts. Now I find myself without one again. It seems everyone I ask will not give me a call time. I figure they aren't interested. 

Anyway, you know how you feel when you need to pee. I have things I need to talk about privately with a sponsor. The folks that are part of what I need to talk about are maliciously gossiping about me. I can confirm myself to God and myself as the winner because no gossip or malicious talk about them has left my lips. I have been saving it for a sponsor. Do I need to just go tell a priest or something?  And at this point, where are the closed mouth people? I sure won't get a sponsor that gossips and then be responsible for sponsees in that situation. I would be better off without a sponsor. 

I hate to even post this because I feel like I'm gossiping about gossip. I won't use any names or locations though. It just is what it is. I need to get back into service because I am in a black hole that has little AA at all around here. Can anyone help? I am willing to go to any length and I am desperate.

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