Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us.
Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want and need.
We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us.
We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us.
We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content.
Learn to let others be there for us.
Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me
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And it isn't the thing you do, dear, It's the thing you leave undone Which gives you a bit of a heartache At the setting of the sun. --Margaret Sangster
A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process."
We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help.
Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally.
There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done
-- Edited by Phil at 08:46, 2005-12-01
jeannie said
Dec 1, 2005
Well put. The first few months into this program I felt like I could not depend on and lean on anyone - even family. Now four months into this program I have discovered there are people out there who really, actually and honestly care - especially family. I had to swallow my pride about trying to do this all by myself. I was raised to believe that if you could not do it by yourself than it can not be done. Like I said before (sorry for repeating myself) there are people I can lean on for support and comfort. As you have stated "Learn to let others be there for us". Since I have done this with family and friends my life is actually becoming better and so am I. After doing this I can honestly say that I can see a light from the bottom of the barrel.
Jeannie
Phil said
Dec 1, 2005
Yup Jeanie...its actually kinda nice...not having to cross the street..when I see you comming the
other way. lol I see youve packed in the 45s.....for a real good sponsor.....sure helps hu?
You keep up the good work...and yaaaaa-we dont hafta do it alone...youve got a lot of support...
Letting People Be There for Us
Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us.
Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want and need.
We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us.
We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us.
We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content.
Learn to let others be there for us.
Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me
------------
A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process."
We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help.
Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally.
There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done
-- Edited by Phil at 08:46, 2005-12-01
Well put. The first few months into this program I felt like I could not depend on and lean on anyone - even family. Now four months into this program I have discovered there are people out there who really, actually and honestly care - especially family. I had to swallow my pride about trying to do this all by myself. I was raised to believe that if you could not do it by yourself than it can not be done. Like I said before (sorry for repeating myself) there are people I can lean on for support and comfort. As you have stated "Learn to let others be there for us". Since I have done this with family and friends my life is actually becoming better and so am I. After doing this I can honestly say that I can see a light from the bottom of the barrel.
Jeannie
Yup Jeanie...its actually kinda nice...not having to cross the street..when I see you comming the
other way. lol I see youve packed in the 45s.....for a real good sponsor.....sure helps hu?
You keep up the good work...and yaaaaa-we dont hafta do it alone...youve got a lot of support...