Hey guys, Mikel brought up something in the post below that I'm wondering about. Does anyone else know anyone else that's in the program who admits to having a glass of wine everynight?(Sorry, what Mikel said was every Friday night,but still?) I mean in the program of AA...I just have never in all my years heard of that. Most old timers I know believe in total absintence, I remember the article about Bill W. wanting a drink on his death bed, and no one would give it to him , they didn't want to mess up those years of sobriety.Not that I feel it would have been wrong, I don't think God would have judged him for it.

Mikel does this man get his tokens for years of sobriety? Cause to me it just doesn't sound kosher. I did hear one woman in Al-anon say her husband takes wine at communion at church, she said he had a special grace on him that allowed that, whatever that meant.

Just wondering?

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

-- Edited by GammyRose at 17:31, 2005-11-08

-- Edited by GammyRose at 18:00, 2005-11-08

Hi, Gammy.

That's an interesting question.  This gentleman happens to be a friend of a very dear friend of mine in New York.  I'll have to ask her if he still collects his sobriety tokens.  I do know he caught a lot, and I mean a LOT, of flak when he announced to his AA group he had one glass of wine a week on his Friday evening meal.  It didn't deter him, however, as he still continues this practice, and still continues to sponsor folks in the program.

M

gammy rosie............Does anyone else know anyone else that's in the program who admits to having a glass of wine everynight? I mean in the program of AA

 

rosie>>>>>>> well i have had my slips with the wine too, as we all know,  but everynight????? a glass of wine??????  i don't know of anyone doing that !!!!!!   i guess its possible, i  mean there are all kinds of   alcohol abusers....i heard from my doctor that  people can be  physically alergic   or mentally /emotionally dependent on it.....i know of a sponser i had who was  *hooked in his head*   kind of reminded me of me...Bcuz he told me that he did it to calm his  anxiety!!!!   boy that rang a bell.....

 

i used to get drunk/ party  a lot, and i KNOW i was doing it to escape my pain......now??? as i FACE my pain,   work through my pain,  discharge the emotions instead of stuffing???? i do NOT want to EVER abuse alcohol again.......my old sponser  told me he  *takes a drink, every now and then*  and when i asked him  "waht did you do???"    and he basically told me that    "since he worked out his stuff and STAYS IN THE PROGRAM........uses the program tools,  it isn't a problem with him anymore"   its like he doesn't want to abuse it anymore.....it is not something he NEEDS anymore........i am paraphrasing, but this is accurate...i believe him Bcuz he is the most brutally honest person i know..and he does not  BS the program/ steps, et al.........

so a guy drinking a glass of wine  every night?????   i guess it could happen.....i know i don't want to do that....i  wish i didn't have to do my anti anxiety meds.....i hate doing ANYthing,  but its meds or  panic attacks so bad i think i am *losing it*.....i pray   i pray with all my being that this program/ working the steps, et al can somehow get my nerves healed......ptss is a bitch to overcome....but God can do anything, so i plug on....i press on regardless.......anyway,   that is my take and what i have heard........i dont' think anything surprises me anymore....i mean people are sooo unique!!! what works for 1 may not work for another.......i just keep focus on me and as long as i know i am  *moving forward....2 steps forward, 1 step backwad*  i consider myself  PROGRESSING...........i think there are diferent KINDS of   *isms*   i know i have an *ism* personality, so i am a  *lifer* here in  program..........hugs/ rosie

Uh-oh.  To set the record straight:  This AA sponsor does not have a glass of wine every night.  He has one glass of wine each week, on Friday night with his evening meal.  My friend has dined with him on several Fridays and all he has is the one glass. 

I kind of wish I hadn't brought the matter up, and if by doing so I made anyone uncomfortable, my sincere apologies.

M

 

Hi Gammy.

I've never heard of this! BUT:

Step One, We admit we are powerless over alcohol etc, etc.

This person in question seems NOT to be powerless, He / She seems to be one of the majority of people that can enjoy alcohol in a safe and social way.

Therefore I do not think that this person needs AA.

I've not read the background so I may well be totally wrong, just my thoughts.

Alcoholism isn't something that can be turned of or on, it's always there. One glass of wine for me means the whole bottle and then looking for the second, once thats empty, getting in the car to go and find whisky.

Never again (as some people say each week)

Hope everyone is well and sober.

Best wishes to you all.

Chris.

Ps: Sorry I've not been round much. Got the new job caring for the deceased and the families. I've been thrown right in at the deep end, it's the best way to learn!

Cabbageheadchris wrote:
 One glass of wine for me means the whole bottle and then looking for the second, once thats empty, getting in the car to go and find whisky.

---

 

Ditto!

My sponsor only tolerates abstinence.

Doll

-- Edited by Doll at 08:42, 2005-11-09

hey gammy

I agree no alcohol................ I've seen people celebrate, and I know for a fact they have drank!!  There deal not mine!! i also saw a man tell on himself for having one drink on a cruise ship. It cost him 20 years of soberity, he just celebrated one year again. A KID SAT AT A MEETING and COLLECTED A 6 MOTHS COIN AND THEN SAID THE ONLY THING HE DRANK WAS A BOTTLE OF MOUTH WASH.  HE WAS CALLED ON IT**********NOT SOBER********* Some of these things cost me 6 years of soberity!! I worried about them instead of me. It's My inventory not theres  ** right?????  As for a wine a week????????????????????? get real!! He's not sober.................. ROSIE BE CAREFUL--BEEN THERE.  I pick up after 6 years got drunk as a scunk. Then i left it alone for 6 months. The it was ok so i made it 3 months. then once a month was ok. And then when was i sober?/

back to AA--and it was real hard.   Made it about 17 months and off to the races.  THIS IS ME!!

back on track again***sober today is good enough for me***one day at a time u get time

my dad died 33 years sober**  he got it the first time** you know he was a lucky one.  some paths are harder to follow.   oh  off track now--thanks for being here all of you

-- Edited by Rick at 19:19, 2005-11-08

"We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of
alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy;
that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never
occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can
never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed
the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-
confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up
on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctor's Opinion, pg. xxviii~

Again, who are we to judge?  I see that Rick is quick to point out this particular AA sponsor is "not sober" because he treats himself to a single glass of wine on a Friday night.  Interesting, given you don't know this man, yet you do not hesitate to categorize him.

I do know this; back in 1984 and at 24 years of age, this man was picked up off the street, homeless and destitute, weighing less than 120 lbs.  Already a father of four and a non-U.S. citizen from Ireland, he was suffering from acute alcohol toxicity; he nearly died.  He was in treatment some six months before he obtained employment with Conn/Edison, eventually obtaining his high school and then college diploma.  This person very much committed to the program, and in turn has sponsored dozens of other recovering alcoholics.  I understand his (obviously, unorthodox, based on some of the reactions here) taking a glass of wine on Fridays is relatively recent, according to my friend--some three or four years ago.  Whether he still collects tokens or counts his years of sobriety I cannot say, nor do I wish to speak for him.  I do think some who react blindly by stating he's either not sober or not in need of AA judge prematurely. 

We can either provide support, or we can become critical because someone is candid enough to operate beyond our preconceptions and indoctrination as to how the program should work.  I'm too damn old and ornery to state, "Oh, this method won't work, because it's not in the Big Book," or "he's not sober, get real!" or "he's not a true alkie."  You know, I got enough on my plate without having to worry or be concerned as to whether or not someone else is operating outside the box.  Let's focus on our own recoveries, offer encouragement and support, and leave the judging to the metaphysical.

M

MIKEL>>>>>>>>Let's focus on our own recoveries, offer encouragement and support, and leave the judging to the metaphysical.

 

ROSIE>>>>>>>EVERYthing you said i 100000%  agree with.....i am too busy working on my OWN stuff,  my OWN baggage to worry about someone ELSE.....i do my recovery....i know i am healing....i know i am learning a NEW and healthy way of life....if i do it diferent????  WHO gives a rats butt how i do it as long as i am  progressing/ growing within myself and my God/ thinking and behaving healthier/  developing a better perspective on me/ God/ Life.......i mean  really,  i have heard of folks, doing that,   my X sponser who is STILL my dear friend, and hes a real together guy who absolutely treasures and works his program, told me point blank that he has a glass of wine when he goes out to eat!! and when his g.f. and he got engaged, they had a glass of wine together.........he has taughte me and helped me SOO much...and i have a lady sponser now and i  love her to pieces........she would have said exactly what you did, mikel,    thank you for this MOST  caring and non judging share..............peace / your friend in recovery/ rosie

Thanks for the responses guys, and I did correct my question, to he only drinks one glass of wine once a week.Mikel,I really wasn't judging, just wanted some input because I'd never heard of such a thing, in my part of the flatlands , that just doesn't sound like sobriety. But your right , lets keep the focus on our own recovery.

Hmmmmm, maybe since I've been sober for 20 years, I could test the water again, go to the liquor store first thing in the morning, have one glass of vodka. It's my recovery and it's my life. My experience, strength and hope would be on the line, but if I could have just one glass of vodka a week, I would surely feel less tense, face another few years of my husband being in jail, take much better care of my Mom, the pain of watching her die from COPD and chrones disease would be lessened, not to mention my own health issues would just not matter for a day or a few hours. My sponsor and I would have more to talk about, and I could make a new friend at the liqour store.Oh, and the holidays are coming up, Wow! Christmas Eve ,with a drink in hand, and I could invite all the people over that I sponsor.

You guys have a great sober evening !

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Gammy, please tell me you were joking or I'm gonna have to head on down to Tx and drag you away!!!

Sobriety, to me, is remaining drug and alcohol free at all times. I just know me too well...if I had one I'd wonder what 2 or 5 or 20 would do for me. But that's me...it's not everyone. I know of addicts that drink quite a bit, but still feel they are in recovery because alcohol wasn't thier drug of choice.

Love, cheri

Cheri, Yes I guess I was just joking, but somedays what I posted above is the thought process I go through. I have to think it, say it, talk to my Sponsor or another AA member, write about it. I am one drink away from where I left off 20 years ago, and I know that.Living life on lifes terms is not easy, but it beats the alternitive.

There was a man at the meeting last night with 35 years sobriety, he talked about how one of his kids who had visited a month ago had left a few beers in the fridge, it had been bugging him all this time and he'd made up his mind last night he was going home and pouring them down the drain. If you still think about it so much after 35 years and the complusion is still so great, than you defintly are an alcoholic, no and's, if's ,or but"s.

Call me an Old-timer , hard ass. I'm just onrey enough to believe if you are an Alcoholic in recovery you can not drink, not one beer, that's a slip and you just pick yourself up and start over.The only requirement to be a member of AA is the desire to stop drinking.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose