Hi - I was hoping for some advice. I currently have about 4 drinks (between 3 to 5), usually wine, a night. I tend to skull the drinks just before bed. Do I have a problem? I don't think I can stop, but am worried about health issues in the future. I managed to stop when I fell pregnant and while I was breastfeeding, but since stopping breastfeeding have been drinking again every night. It's not like I need to have a drink first thing in the morning, during the day etc, I even told my GP who said it wouldn't kill me having that many drinks a day, but for some reason i feel it's not right. I feel so guilty about it all the time. It's something I think about all day - feeling guilty about it. Would you consider this a problem, or is my GP right, it's nothing to really worry about?
Thank you!
Phil said
Oct 14, 2005
AM I AN ALCOHOLIC?
The sub-questions are designed to help shed light on the basic question. Read them only if necessary, but don't count them separately. What will eventually happen is that you will have a discussion with yourself; this is only an outline to give your conversation some constructive direction.
This survey was written by recovering people. They had the same questions while they were still drinking or using and probably came up with the same answers. They survived and so will you. But there needs to be a starting point, and question No. 1 is as good a place as any ...
1. Is there some particular reason why you are concerned about your drinking at this time? Are you drinking more often that you used to, or greater quantities when you do drink? Are you able to drink more without getting drunk? Do you sometimes have the shakes or other discomfort the next morning, and does a pick-me-up drink help make you feel better?
2. Is one of the reasons for your concern the fact that some people are getting on your back about your drinking? Do close friends say you are acting differently these days, or that you undergo some kind of personality change when you drink? Are they suggesting that you cut down or cut it out?
3. Do you have other friends that you prefer to be around these days -- people who don't mind your drinking, or don't mention it? Are these new friends that you've recently made? Are they fairly good drinkers, also? Do you have much else in common with them, or are drinking-related activities your main bond? Do you tend to prefer social events where drinking is more readily available?
4. Have you had more than two or three memory lapses (called blackouts) in the past 90 days? After an evening or other period of drinking, have you forgotten where you left your car?Or how you got home? Have you had to call someone the next day to fill you in on what you were doing the night before?
5. Do you sometimes regret things that you may have said or done while you were drinking? Are you ever embarrassed to the extent that you want to avoid certain people, or going back to a place where you may have done some foolish things? Do you wish that you could undo those things, or ever think that less drinking might help prevent them from happening again?
6. Do you drink more than the people you are with, or do you ever load up your drinks so others don't notice what you are doing? Do you order or mix doubles for yourself while others are drinking singles? Do you carry an extra supply with you in case the host runs out, or the bar closes before you are ready to quit? Is there anything unusual about your drinking habits that might make other people wonder!
7. Have you gotten careless about things that used to be important to you, or have you dropped certain activities from your routine? Do you spend less time with your children, spouse, or other family members than you used to? Are you less interested in some of your former hobbies or sports or entertainment source? Are you reducing outside activities that interfere with your drinking?
8. Have you tried or considered changing things in your life in order to get along better and eliminate some of the problems? Have you thought of leaving your spouse, or the family, or going away for a while to give everybody a little extra spaceHave you thought about changing jobs, or maybe even moving to another part of the country where you could make a clean start, without the hassles and disadvantages from the past?
9. Do you ever wonder if some of the problems that may accompany your drinking would be lessened or go away, if you decided to stop entirely? Are there family arguments that might not flare up so oftenWould work (or school) tardiness or absenteeism be somewhat improved? Are there financial or business setbacks that could be reduced? Insurance problems? Checkbook or household budget balancing? Difficulties in meeting obligations or paying back loans?
10. Have you ever promised yourself that you would really try to cut down on your drinking without quitting altogether? Have you tried skipping certain nights of the week, or hours of the day, when you wouldn't drink at all? Have you tried switching brands or type of alcohol in order to keep from getting so drunk or losing control so much? Have you tried putting someone else in charge of your drinking to help you cut down?
11. Have you ever tried to quit -- totally -- and not been able to? Have you ever set a date or duration when you would actually try to stop? Were there reasons why the effort really never took hold, or the timing never seemed right? Did your promise to quit seem less important when the deadline to quit rolled around? Was it easier to continue drinking than to fight the situation, and are you still drinking at this time?
12. Was it difficult for you to make this self examination, and is this a subject you consider too personal to discuss with others? Do you intentionally avoid discussions about your drinking or its complications? Do you sometimes have your spouse or other persons intervene for you, or make excuses about your tardiness or other related problems?
This is the simplest scoring system in the annals of do-it-yourself testing. Any "YES" answer to a main or sub-question has earned you membership in a not very exclusive population of several million people with drinking or drugging problems. The more "YES's" you toted up, the better off you are. Every "YES" you were able to mentally put down was a striking symbol of personal honesty. It meant that you have begun the process of self-realization -- a principle in which virtually all recovery problems are based. Without personal recognition of your condition, there can be no meaningful recovery.
If you will consider each "YES" to be a minor victory in this same sense, you might want to take the test again and see how many more "YES's" you can identify. The enemies of recovery are guilt, denial and alibis. The allies are acceptance, understanding and honesty.
If the results of the test suggest that you, or whoever you took the test for, are an alcoholic or other chemical dependent, congratulations. Now you're getting somewhere.
Hanuman said
Oct 14, 2005
Hi Helenkymba,
I'm alcoholic named Tom .. here's my experience if it helps you ..
The way I decided I was an alcoholic was when I tried to stop (or control it) the obsession to drink just got stronger. I'd tried years before to control my drinking (or stop) and "white-knuckled" it for a month or two. But I always started drinking again, sometimes slowly and sometimes with great gusto. For me, in the end, it wasn't the amount I was drinking or any external stuff like DUI's, losing jobs, family, etc ... All the external stuff was great. But inside I was a mess and I finally came to realize that my dependence on alcohol was a good place to start looking if I was to live a happier life. I don't know why it took so long for this to dawn on me.
I also think that there are people who are just heavy drinkers and who are not necessarily alcoholics. Also there are those who may be alcoholics and can in fact stay away from drinking for long periods of time (like years!). There are some stories like this in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous". I know I guy who didn't drink for 14 years but his life was a mess. He's a big guy and he felt he was going to end up in prison for homicide if he didn't find some other way of living. I can definitely relate to that! AA and it's ideas about living life without alcohol has definitely saved me from some bad situations .. sober!
For me, it's all about living happily without drinking.
Doll said
Oct 14, 2005
Hi. I'm Jen, recovering alcoholic.
Only YOU can make that decision. However, something about your drinking is troubling you and made you come to this board. Might well be worth a little more investigating.
Check your local phone book for Alcoholics Anonymous, give them a call, someone will be HAPPY to talk with you.....
AM I AN ALCOHOLIC?
The sub-questions are designed to help shed light on the basic question. Read them only if necessary, but don't count them separately. What will eventually happen is that you will have a discussion with yourself; this is only an outline to give your conversation some constructive direction.
This survey was written by recovering people. They had the same questions while they were still drinking or using and probably came up with the same answers. They survived and so will you. But there needs to be a starting point, and question No. 1 is as good a place as any ...
1. Is there some particular reason why you are concerned about your drinking at this time? Are you drinking more often that you used to, or greater quantities when you do drink? Are you able to drink more without getting drunk? Do you sometimes have the shakes or other discomfort the next morning, and does a pick-me-up drink help make you feel better?
2. Is one of the reasons for your concern the fact that some people are getting on your back about your drinking? Do close friends say you are acting differently these days, or that you undergo some kind of personality change when you drink? Are they suggesting that you cut down or cut it out?
3. Do you have other friends that you prefer to be around these days -- people who don't mind your drinking, or don't mention it? Are these new friends that you've recently made? Are they fairly good drinkers, also? Do you have much else in common with them, or are drinking-related activities your main bond? Do you tend to prefer social events where drinking is more readily available?
4. Have you had more than two or three memory lapses (called blackouts) in the past 90 days? After an evening or other period of drinking, have you forgotten where you left your car?Or how you got home? Have you had to call someone the next day to fill you in on what you were doing the night before?
5. Do you sometimes regret things that you may have said or done while you were drinking? Are you ever embarrassed to the extent that you want to avoid certain people, or going back to a place where you may have done some foolish things? Do you wish that you could undo those things, or ever think that less drinking might help prevent them from happening again?
6. Do you drink more than the people you are with, or do you ever load up your drinks so others don't notice what you are doing? Do you order or mix doubles for yourself while others are drinking singles? Do you carry an extra supply with you in case the host runs out, or the bar closes before you are ready to quit? Is there anything unusual about your drinking habits that might make other people wonder!
7. Have you gotten careless about things that used to be important to you, or have you dropped certain activities from your routine? Do you spend less time with your children, spouse, or other family members than you used to? Are you less interested in some of your former hobbies or sports or entertainment source? Are you reducing outside activities that interfere with your drinking?
8. Have you tried or considered changing things in your life in order to get along better and eliminate some of the problems? Have you thought of leaving your spouse, or the family, or going away for a while to give everybody a little extra spaceHave you thought about changing jobs, or maybe even moving to another part of the country where you could make a clean start, without the hassles and disadvantages from the past?
9. Do you ever wonder if some of the problems that may accompany your drinking would be lessened or go away, if you decided to stop entirely? Are there family arguments that might not flare up so oftenWould work (or school) tardiness or absenteeism be somewhat improved? Are there financial or business setbacks that could be reduced? Insurance problems? Checkbook or household budget balancing? Difficulties in meeting obligations or paying back loans?
10. Have you ever promised yourself that you would really try to cut down on your drinking without quitting altogether? Have you tried skipping certain nights of the week, or hours of the day, when you wouldn't drink at all? Have you tried switching brands or type of alcohol in order to keep from getting so drunk or losing control so much? Have you tried putting someone else in charge of your drinking to help you cut down?
11. Have you ever tried to quit -- totally -- and not been able to? Have you ever set a date or duration when you would actually try to stop? Were there reasons why the effort really never took hold, or the timing never seemed right? Did your promise to quit seem less important when the deadline to quit rolled around? Was it easier to continue drinking than to fight the situation, and are you still drinking at this time?
12. Was it difficult for you to make this self examination, and is this a subject you consider too personal to discuss with others? Do you intentionally avoid discussions about your drinking or its complications? Do you sometimes have your spouse or other persons intervene for you, or make excuses about your tardiness or other related problems?
This is the simplest scoring system in the annals of do-it-yourself testing. Any "YES" answer to a main or sub-question has earned you membership in a not very exclusive population of several million people with drinking or drugging problems. The more "YES's" you toted up, the better off you are. Every "YES" you were able to mentally put down was a striking symbol of personal honesty. It meant that you have begun the process of self-realization -- a principle in which virtually all recovery problems are based. Without personal recognition of your condition, there can be no meaningful recovery.
If you will consider each "YES" to be a minor victory in this same sense, you might want to take the test again and see how many more "YES's" you can identify. The enemies of recovery are guilt, denial and alibis. The allies are acceptance, understanding and honesty.
If the results of the test suggest that you, or whoever you took the test for, are an alcoholic or other chemical dependent, congratulations. Now you're getting somewhere.
Hi. I'm Jen, recovering alcoholic.
Only YOU can make that decision. However, something about your drinking is troubling you and made you come to this board. Might well be worth a little more investigating.
Check your local phone book for Alcoholics Anonymous, give them a call, someone will be HAPPY to talk with you.....