I find the more I need to do something the more likely I am to put it off

The bigger issue I need to address is that I do WANT to do this; I think I SHOULD do this, and I CAN do this; I even say I WILL do this and then don't. So why don't I? Why am I undermining my own self-respect?

something i read today...your path it will take you instead of you taking it, there is no will power involved in following this path. Your will power is fighting against taking the path. The path will keep rising up in front of you until you have no choice but,to take it.

p-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t-i-o-n

all my life\

 

Hi Wendy. Just my thoughts. And yes-I have those days too.

Survival-of all types, motivates us, just to "do what we hafta do" some days.

Negative thinking, will send me into a fear of failure mode, or low self esteem mode--some type of depression mode--where one just wants to give up.

Then theres --as youve mentioned. The procrastination, and lazy mode.

Everything piles up-one becomes overwhelmed-and it comes back around to gotta do it, to survive mode, again.

Then--theres the extreem.

Positive thinking --regarding goals, and where one wishes to be, somewhere in tomorrows-can put me into motivation mode, to make those goals happen. And thats ok-as long as it just involves me.

But reality is--it might not go, according to the way the vision is planned-and one of my character defects, is , expectations.--and big expectations are something that can set me right on my butt.

I can have expectations of myself, and what I hafta do-but I cannot have unrealistic --out of proportion expectations of others.

Thats a form of trying to control others lives also, and its got to be a live and let live. Live my own--and Let Go and Let Higher Power with the rest--plus the 11th step.

So-it comes back to "Looking in the mirror"

And this stuff about failing, in the past--can send me into a corner-where I will say "Im not even going to attemp this again"

Its like having 5 car accidents, and saying "Thats it" "Im buying a bicycle" lol

This step 3 and step 11 are real biggys. Faith in ourselves, sometimes can send me for a real shit-because sometimes there just isnt any left.

And we all know where self sufficiency gets us. Dead end road.

I do know one thing. This walking beside a Higher Power is a must. Sometimes He hasta carry us. And there are still some days, I hafta let Him carry me, and be humble enough to let Him do so.

Today, is one of those days. There are things in today-and other days where, I hafta make decisions, and they hafta be made now.

Ive been fighting with Insurance companies all day, over taxi insurance.

A guy wants to buy my business. No problem, with that one. Im ready.

Enough 130 hour weeks-Im burnt out. Enough stress.

So-Im trying to find insurance quotes for a new owner. And what Im getting is unbeleivable.

Its just reality--its the system-and as much as Ide like to react to it all--its the Serenity prayer.

So you look up-ask for help, and keep on trying. And as an alcoholic--my first reaction is to say "F" it.

But-where theres a will-theres a way. And we keep on plugging.

Yaaa-procrastination? Ide like to put it all on stop, and go sit under a tree, and just give up.

But if we wish to go forward--we gotta keep kickin ass--and some days--our own.

Gonna get into the Big Book for an hour-and put the boxing gloves on again-lol

You have a good day!!

 

 

A little while later.

well-Im impressed--one puts it on stop--makes another phone call,--and BINGO!!

Problem solved.

Yaaaaa--it all works.:)  Keep smilin!!

Phil

my car ins is high.  I looked over the rating system and told them how i was rated when then sold me. They said they don't use that class anymore. I asked why do u have it then.  Manager time??  He said he could drop one car. I said we have 3 and 2 drivers, so they can't possibly be used so much.(mileage thing)  I give up for now.   I think every year u need to get quotes.  Now I have to buy moble home ins for rental.  I can hardly wait.  I should do it right now while i have a smile on.

NO TIME NOW!!

Let go let god--it'll get done!!--a few things are finnally winding down-- u know the procrastination heap.

And I thought it was just me??????

-- Edited by Rick at 16:39, 2005-09-26

-- Edited by Rick at 16:42, 2005-09-26

Hi Phil, I originally clicked on this to reply to Wendy, but for F***'s SAKE GET A GRIP and TAKE A BREAK!

130 hour weeks would kill anyone. I used to work 90 hours and I spent every spair minute sleeping (that includes time driving a minibus full of children).

Look after YOU ( and your family) Boll****s to everyone else.

Bye for now

 

Chris.

 

And Wendy, Terminal lazyness is something that I Know well. I'm ok at work, ok with housework and cooking (We do this together) Ahh sweet!

With anything that disturbs my routine EG: getting a new passport or driving licence, or going to see my doctor to organise vaccinations for the holiday, NO MOTIVATION!

What I am thankfull for today is a woman who can kick me up the A*** while still being tactfull!

Have a great day

 

Chris.

I do this all the time....sometimes, I wait so long that I have no choice.  Other times, I have very good excuses, usually that I can't afford to do that right now........I trip myself up a lot....lol

In my upbringing, my hardwiring was programmed to self-sabatoge.  Now, that I'm aware of it, I can catch it...or at least, acknowledge it's there.......... 

Sometimes I have some success, sometimes I have to learn that lesson one mo' time!  argh!

It's getting better with time.  One of the blessings of this program

Hang in there, Wendy

Christine