Trailers? Cars? hmmmm anyone got a pickup, and an RV? Im running away lol

Morning guys.

Slogan for today. "Somedays, its best, not to think.":)

Ive been told that I think too damned much. And as much, as Ide like to get defensive, about that one, I hafta agree.

We can get wrapped up, in those emotional hangovers. We can get wrapped up in "what ifs" and "Tomorrows" We can get wrapped up in everything but today, and waste the whole thing.

Sure--we want what we want. We have every right to have wants, desires, dreams. We have every right to wish for happiness, security, and contentment in our lives.

But yu know? It all starts with us. Others cant give us that. They can contribute to it all, and stand by with support and love--but it cant be handed to us on a silver platter.

Self sufficiency is another thought. Doesnt work, on its own. The next right step-Good Orderly direction-Doing the best we can today-Letting Go and Letting God(as we understand Him)

Getting back self confidence in ourselves--and walking beside that Higher Power.

There are some days, that we just forget where weve all come from. We are all living on borrowed time, one day at a time. Most of us shouldnt even be here.

There are some days, I forget the freinds in my life. I can go back into that isolation mode, where one feels safe and secure.

I have a problem some days,  accepting love from others, because I think, I dont deserve it.

I have problems with being rejected, and all sorts of crap, that can enter the alcoholic mind.

And yes--that damned guilt from the past, can seep in also.

We are responsible, as recovering alcoholics--to stand guard, at the portals of our thoughts.

We are responsible, for how we think and act. We are responsible for us. We are responsible, to be there for others, when we can. To keep it--we hafta give it away.

Dont know about you guys, but Ive got to the point, where it just doesnt matter what others think of this kid, any more. I lived most of my life on that one. Its what I think that counts.

I do know --that if I can just be myself-show love to others-keep things as simple as possible. on a daily basis--put tomorrows in The Higher Powers hands-work the program to the best of ones ability-that its just AOK.

There are tomorrows that I look forward to, today--and I guess Im no different from the rest of you. We have expectations of tomorrows, whether we admit that or not.

I firmly beleive, that the bigger those expectations are--the bigger the fall is going to be.

I have little dreams and goals today. I know that they can be acheived, without forcing, controlling, and pushing. Little steps at a time. Higher Power takes care of the rest.

We didnt get sick overnight. We are not going to get better by next Thursday.

And all we can really do, is arrest this disease of alcoholism--plus, work on all the isms that go with it. Its a daily, lifetime thing.(12 steps)

I know where Im at today. I know that because of physical spin offs, it makes things twice as difficult on a daily basis. Thats just the way it is. Reality.

But I do know, where Ide like to be --lets say 20 months from now. and thats a goal, and a little dream, thats attainable-its not out of reach. So we baby step, one day at a time towards that. Without little goals and dreams, there would be no point to it all, would there.?

As an alcoholic--I can want it all now. It just doesnt happen that way.

There are some roads, that just come to a dead end. ---at the dead end, there are always roads, going elsewhere. It causes uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and dread.

Gotta go with it. I call it the God flow. And some days, it takes one hell of a lot of faith, to walk through that fear stuff. Some days its easier, to go backwards into the familiar.  Some days its easier, just to give up. Are we giver uppers? Dont think so.:) We can get banged up. We can allow others to bang us up. We can beat ourselves up. Think weve been banged up and beat up,enough hu?

The Spiritual thing? To each their own.

All I can share on that one is--The first meeting I went to--I heard the word God, and walked right back out the door.

I beleive its the same on this board. If a newcommer comes on here, and we start throwing the God word at them--chances are-they are going to walk right out the door--unless they are ready and completely willing to surrender to that Higher Power.

The only Higher Power that I was capable of surrendering to was AA, as a whole, and good orderly direction--for a long time,---- and at some point, I came to beleive.

I still say, and it took a long time to learn this one. Giving with love, from the heart, to others--is what life is all about. And as has been mentioned--that includes forgiveness, and acceptance--re ourselves and others as well.

Anyway--thats enough rambling from this kid, for one day.:)

Beleive in yourself--beleive in the process-and beleive in the program--and Truck on!!

With Love.