It talks in the 12 and 12 about others, that are not in the program, being emotionally unstable, and sick to a certain degree as well.

Just sharing how I feel about some of this stuff. Went through some of it this morning.

As a recovering alcoholic--we are given the tools we can use in any situation, on any given day--and Ile go one step further--saying that the Alanon program helps me to not react--and just do nothing.

I dont know about you guys--but the hardest thing to do, when someone pushes my buttons, is to not react.

If Im getting insanity thrown at me--there is just no way of dealing with it, unless one goes into the insanity yard, with the other person involved.

If I react, Im going to get reactions back--and the merry go round starts. Serenity is thrown right out the window.

There are a lot of things we are capable of reacting too, in the old manner. We know that we are quite capable of doing so--but we learn to sit back and survey the situation first--before we react in any manner.

Sometimes its a matter of gritting ones teeth and saying the Serenity Prayer repeatedly.

Reacting with anger, is just another form of insanity.

We cant change other people--and there are some moments that I wish, murder was not against the law.

Its the same as--We dont hafta be used as doormatts. We all have choices.

There is just something, that happened this morning-that I could really fix. And Ide likely fix it permanently. But then again--the program teaches us "If someone throws shit at us--we dont hafta throw it back.

Its a Let it Go thing. Its a saying that' "Some are sicker than others"

But I dont WANNA LET IT GO!!  sigh

But I must:)

Just venting thanku.--- Putting the bazooka away for another day.

Keep Smiling!!

yeah, dang insanity eh Phil...

i guess not reacting is a reaction in itself

working on that myself too

some days i'm tired of workin'

would like to crawl into a hole and let the world go on today, but i can't, bottom line

just do the best i can

hugs, Wendy

Yup Wendy-aint it the truth:)

Nine more days-Im flying outa here on a holiday. Smoking foot long cigars, and listening to good music, hibernating,- a couple of AA meetings, and looking at RV s.

It cant come soon enough!! 

Rock on!! 

 

 

 

 

Hi all, Great post, just one little bit I'd like to add. Insanity and anger, if they are just repressed and not allowed to escape in some constructive way WILL build up. Little things will become annoying and one day you'll just lose it and chop your neighbours car up with an axe just because he / she was five minutes late returning your lawnmower!

Internalising anger can also lead to illness within yourself and the keyword to expressing it is CONSTRUCTIVLY!

I'm not sure if the serenity prayer works long term, I know it works short term. Is this just a 'mantra' for suppressing anger? (Oops hope that one dosen't cause too much controversy!) I've been using the serenity prayer about 20 times a day recently!

Got to go now, back later,

Bye for now.

Chris.

 

Its ok Chris. I think half the battle, is just getting it out by venting.:)

The other part was rectified by kicking a football 2000 yards down the street, and having to walk to retreive it.--In the midst of doing so, I was chased by a big German Shephard dog--turned around and firmly told him to "Comeon Big Fella!! ""Make my day!!---He retreated.

Then there were the 2 little old ladies, that were jaywalking downtown-um-honked the horn at them.-- and scared the livin bee jee sus outa them. Betcha they dont jaywalk again-lol

Yes-theres always a good way to get rid of Anger.:)

I put a cup on the dash, of a taxi that says--"give generously, please. Cigars arent cheap, and if the driver doesnt get a cigar soon-you might not get home, safely."  The cup is almost full.:)

Take care Bud!!

Getting rid of anger in constructive ways is fun. hahaha

 

Laughing! Not suprised that cigars are'nt cheap if your smoking one 10 toes long (Or is it 12)!

If the bad guys dont come out, and surrender, with their hands in the air--yu smoke em out. lol

The biggest cigars you can find.

Great post, Phil. Thanks for sharing. I needed it. Still amazes me how that happens.....

 

Nothing ever changes if nothing ever changes.... And I gotta find the courage to change it soon.   Just got a call from John, his daughter's birthday is tomorrow, so he can't see me this weekend! Sunday is his only day off in  2 weeks, then he leaves for AL early Oct. for a month.  Well, what do ya know! I  have always come 2nd or 3rd or 10th or 100th. Don't know why I keep thinking that will change. Insanity maybe?!  Don't know why my reaction is always anger first then comes the hurt..Don't know why I keep hoping he will want to include me in his family get togethers... Insanity again?!

 

....... the courage to change the things I can.........

 

Doll

Doll- I really wish, I had all the answers, but the truth is, --that I dont even have them for myself somedays.

I know what I want it life. Its so damned simple.

I dont mind being alone, or living alone, but I sure would like someone to share my life with. Thats simple.

You get into a relationship. You have realistic expectations of that relationship-and where you would like to be in that relationship, in the future, as the days go by-you have visions--realistic visions of  where it can go, and how it can be---

But then, theres the other side of it. What are the other persons expectations of the relationship? Maybe they arent the same as our expectations.

And one walks on--one day at a time with hope, that everything will be ok.

And Honestly? When two people are not completely on the same wave--theres either gotta be adjustments made through comunication and change, or nothings going to change.

If one party is willing to adjust, and the other one isnt--how the hell is anything going to work.

If one party is growing and the other one is not--or going backwards--how is it going to work?

I dont know how you feel about it, but my thoughts are--that I like to feel secure in a relationship--and if there things to adjust or fix--lets compromise and fix em.

I cannot walk on egg shells each day-wondering what Im going to say wrong--or do wrong--and get reactions about, etc.

Did that for too long.

If I cant be, --just me, --in a relationship--and two people cant accept each other, and love each other fully in a relationship--I ask myself-whats the point."?

If theres a problem--it either gets fixed --or it doesnt.--and unless theres some kind of action, or compromise--it doesnt.

Im so tired of trying to be what other people want me to be. I did it for so long.

Ive got to the point, in life where--if people cant accept me just the way I am--its their loss, and Im trucking the hell on.

I say to myself today--that im one of the most loving, giving, caring guys, in the world--I can show feelings, emotions, understanding, and all the good stuff. I dont hafta be a big people pleaser, and I dont hafta put any acts, and I dont hafta impress anyone. It took a long time to get that way, and Im damned proud of it. On the other side, I will stand by, protect, and be there in any way I can be, as a strong reliable, trustworthy guy, also.--in a caring loving relationship.

Whys it so damned hard to find that? Because we get into relationships, with expectations, and hope. Expectations are dashed to hell, for some reason--we hang on and we hang on-with that hope, and nothing changes.

I dont know bout you, but Im getting awfully tired of trying.

But-here I am-giving it another shot. Why?. Because it feels right. And thats all I really know.

And if it doesnt work out--then--- I go for another dive, in the sand.

Nothing happens without willingness, and action, and risk.

If I sit on my butt on a sandy beach, waiting for something to happen--all thats going to happen is---Im going to get sand up my butt.

All I know for sure is-that people like you and I and others on this board have a lot to give.

If someone else cant accept it, and give it back in return--what the hells the point.?

My thoughts, and my opinions only.   Have a nice night.

 

 

 

 

Today was a good relationship day. She went one way I went the other.  Went out for a nice dinner, saw a few people we haven't seen in a while and had fun. No insanity--thank god

Isn't that the point?  A little fun, with no insanity and serenity.  Relationships can be so hard at times.

Doll  your man will catch on or the right man will appear at the right time.  God's time.

why is it thru our life we love people and they feel nothing for us, or they love us and we could care?

just a thought.  Couldn't sleep so been doing a little AA  book reading and jumped on here for a minute.

Phil  I agree with your last reply--very good as usual.  I'm not alone, been married 19 years. Talk about miracles.  Some days are tough.  Trying to sort out what is important to each of us. Cutting back, weeding out things etc. Things change over the years, not  kids anymore.  Hell it's only one day at a time. Time for bed. In all it's been a pretty good sober day.

 

 good night all   Rick

-- Edited by Rick at 22:34, 2005-09-23

-- Edited by Rick at 22:36, 2005-09-23

My heart goes out to all you guys(and girls) who are having trouble in your relationships.

Life is so though to begin with. Walking "behind "or "in front of" your partner sucks!!

Be saying a prayer for "strength" to help ya'll get

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry to hear your all having a hard time with your relationships.

My Prayer for you...Is everything you pray for your-selves.

Seriously!

Take Care

Nancy Jo

 

 

 

Nancyjo. Theres one line in your reply that really stands out.

Walking beside. Not in front, and not behind--just walking beside. Kinda  sums it all up--doesnt it?

Thanku.