I just returned from my first meeting and it was not what I was expecting at all. I thought it would be a bunch of haggard miserable old ex-rummies blathering on about how they wished they would've quit drinking before their all teeth all fell out! I expected to be watching the clock while they took turns droning on and on about how much they're lives sucked. What I found was a group of really decent people who, for the most part, had their schit together and were pretty damn happy. It was touching, funny, inspiring, a little sad at times but overall very positive and welcoming.
I introduced myself as a newcomer so a few people came to me after the meeting and talked to me. They seemed genuinely caring and supportive and that should have made me feel great but all that I kept thinking was "why are these people being so nice to me? What do they want from me? They don't even know me."
So what do they want? Why do they care about some stranger who could be an axe murderer for all they know? I just don't get it...
wagon said
Sep 11, 2005
the reason i treat people in aa that way is because thats the way i was treated . theres one thing you will learn about aaers, we share a common illness and a common bond, u can go to most aa meeting anywhere in this country and get the same responce . you will never be alone again. i am glad it went well for u. may god bless u and again welcome to OUR GROUP WAGON
TipsyMcStagger said
Sep 11, 2005
I think it's a natural reaction to question the motivation of people who seem overly eager to help a complete stranger. I would like to believe that these people just want to help a fellow human being in need but it's a departure from the reality of the world in this day in age.
People shoot at each other over parking spots for crying out loud...it's not exactly Mayberry we're living in.
wagon said
Sep 11, 2005
maybe the people that shoot each other,are not in a 12 step program!!!wagon
Rick said
Sep 11, 2005
hEY GUY
THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM U
U HELPED THEM
THERE IS A COMMON BOUND THAT CAN'T BE EXPLAINED
i POSTED TO YOU BELOW ALSO
GOTTA GET MOVING A FELLOW AA FRIEND IS GETTING ORDAINED AS A MINISTER TODAY
I'M GOING TO SUPPORT HIM--JUST BECAUSE I LIKE HIM
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HIS CHURCH OR JOIN. I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS FOR HIM NOT ME. I REALLY COULD CARE ABOUT GOING. HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. SEE--I'M JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD TO HIM. THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO HIM
God in HIS wisdom has selected this group of men and women to be the purveyors of His Goodness. In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon, He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate - He went to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world.
Well might he have said to us - into your weak and feable hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been given that which had been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests or ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics which I entrust to you.
It must be used unselfishly. It carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long, no demands upon your time can be too urgent, no case too pitiable, no task too hard, no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect, lack of appreciation will be common, ridicule will be your lot - your motives will be misjudged. Success will not always attend your efforts in your work with other alcoholics. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs toward spiritual perfection. And remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact of you beyond your capabilities.
You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful always if success attends your efforts, not to ascribe to personal superiority, that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of MY gift.
If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have been entrusted to the physician and the scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified men than you who would have been available.
You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the world, and your long experience as drunkards has made, or should make you humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere. Keep ever in mind the admission you have made on the day of your entrance into AA, namely, that you are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will into My keeping, that relief came to you...
Doll said
Sep 11, 2005
TipsyMcStagger wrote: What do they want from me? They don't even know me." So what do they want? Why do they care about some stranger who could be an axe murderer for all they know? I just don't get it...
They - I - actually DO want something from you. They - I - want you to remind them - ME -that they - I - were once newcomers also and never want to be where you are, again. You help to keep them - ME - sober another day. I wish to never have to start from the bottom again. If you stick it out, and work it you'll begin to see this for yourself.......... We AA's - I - genuinely care about you because we - I - have all been where you are now. We - I - understand. We share the common bond of the disease of alcoholism. And we must give it away in order to keep it.
Stick with the winners, watch out for the losers. Unfortunatley you may find some who are there for a hand out or whatever they think they can get from you. But as we say in AA, "take what you need and leave the rest."
Congrats on your meeting
Love to ya
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 11:38, 2005-09-11
Sick of being sick said
Sep 11, 2005
Morning Tipsy.
If you have got your hands on AA's "Big Book (which I really hope you have by now), you will find in it the history of the organization.
Chapter one in the book, called "Bills Story" is about the founder of the AA movement. If you never read anything else, read that. You said you were looking for an AA success story; in that chapter you will find one. You are trying to understand how it works, and why AA'ers act the way they do; in that chapter you will see that, in order to stay sober, alcoholics need to help others do just that.
I'll bet that, after reading that chapter, you will want to read more.
maybe the people that shoot each other,are not in a 12 step program!!!wagon
hEY GUY
THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM U
U HELPED THEM
THERE IS A COMMON BOUND THAT CAN'T BE EXPLAINED
i POSTED TO YOU BELOW ALSO
GOTTA GET MOVING A FELLOW AA FRIEND IS GETTING ORDAINED AS A MINISTER TODAY
I'M GOING TO SUPPORT HIM--JUST BECAUSE I LIKE HIM
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HIS CHURCH OR JOIN. I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS FOR HIM NOT ME. I REALLY COULD CARE ABOUT GOING. HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. SEE--I'M JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD TO HIM. THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO HIM
READ THE DOCTOR OPINION IN THE FRONT OF THE BIG BOOK--U CAN FIND A LINK AT THE FRONT PAGE OF THIS SITE BETTER YET http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/index.html
-- Edited by Rick at 07:19, 2005-09-11
Why We Were Chosen
God in HIS wisdom has selected this group of men and women to be the purveyors of His Goodness. In selecting them through whom to bring about this phenomenon, He went not to the proud, the mighty, the famous or the brilliant. He went to the humble, to the sick, to the unfortunate - He went to the drunkard, the so-called weakling of the world.
Well might he have said to us - into your weak and feable hands I have entrusted a power beyond estimate. To you has been given that which had been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests or ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics which I entrust to you.
It must be used unselfishly. It carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long, no demands upon your time can be too urgent, no case too pitiable, no task too hard, no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect, lack of appreciation will be common, ridicule will be your lot - your motives will be misjudged. Success will not always attend your efforts in your work with other alcoholics. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rungs toward spiritual perfection. And remember, in the exercise of this power I shall not exact of you beyond your capabilities.
You are not selected because of exceptional talents, and be careful always if success attends your efforts, not to ascribe to personal superiority, that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of MY gift.
If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have been entrusted to the physician and the scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men, there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified men than you who would have been available.
You were selected because you have been the outcasts of the world, and your long experience as drunkards has made, or should make you humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere. Keep ever in mind the admission you have made on the day of your entrance into AA, namely, that you are powerless and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will into My keeping, that relief came to you...
They - I - actually DO want something from you. They - I - want you to remind them - ME -that they - I - were once newcomers also and never want to be where you are, again. You help to keep them - ME - sober another day. I wish to never have to start from the bottom again. If you stick it out, and work it you'll begin to see this for yourself.......... We AA's - I - genuinely care about you because we - I - have all been where you are now. We - I - understand. We share the common bond of the disease of alcoholism. And we must give it away in order to keep it.
Stick with the winners, watch out for the losers. Unfortunatley you may find some who are there for a hand out or whatever they think they can get from you. But as we say in AA, "take what you need and leave the rest."
Congrats on your meeting
Love to ya
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 11:38, 2005-09-11
Morning Tipsy.
If you have got your hands on AA's "Big Book (which I really hope you have by now), you will find in it the history of the organization.
Chapter one in the book, called "Bills Story" is about the founder of the AA movement. If you never read anything else, read that. You said you were looking for an AA success story; in that chapter you will find one. You are trying to understand how it works, and why AA'ers act the way they do; in that chapter you will see that, in order to stay sober, alcoholics need to help others do just that.
I'll bet that, after reading that chapter, you will want to read more.
Dan