here is the definition which sat in plaque form on Dr Bob's desk during his sober years. "Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all about is seeming trouble." (Dr. Bob and The Good Old Timers pg. 222)
One can certainly not act one's way to that place. One can only opt for being in that place and let the deflation of one's ego that is an inherent part of staying surrendered to the Twelve Steps take one there (See the first sentence of step 5, 12&12).
i had to share a friends perspective:( one of) My take on this subject is that the movement from egoism towards humility is an inevitable one for all humans. A human will be moved very slowly in that direction simply from the ever increasing pain involved in trying not to be moved in that direction. It is when one becomes willing to be moved in that direction ("The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines") that great leaps in movement can finally be made. When one is finally willing to "opt" for being in that place, rather than to continue to stay joined to the hopeless and ultimately meaningless "games people play" in order to maintain and display one's great sense of specialness to themselves and others, then the process of letting oneself be moved in that direction becomes a simple feedback system: I hurt inside, I take full responsibility for ending the pain, I change my way of thinking (always in a humbling direction) in order to end the pain, and I am one modicum of ego smaller after each employing of that process. It has been, for me, the Third Step that has made the changed way of thinking a simple matter. If one meditates upon that step, one will discover that in the taking of that step with deadly seriousness, remaining ever willing to continue to implement the decision one makes there, one loses one's right to be miserable. One loses one's right to entertain mental anguish within one's self no matter what the reason. God loves me and wants me to feel good or else there is no God. If there is no God the only sensible way to live life is to learn how to feel really good as much of the time as I can possibly feel really good. Since there is no feeling good without peace of mind, this learning would then include how to get to the point in my life when I have no problem living within the golden rule, as there can be no peace of mind for one living outside the golden rule.
Wisdom decrees that the only way I am going to have no trouble living within the golden rule is if I am willing to trade in old ideas concerning the worthiness of competition and comparison for an internal desire for the way of cooperation and living and letting live. Egoism, with a nil capacity for loving others, thrives on becoming a winner. Humility, with its infinite capacity for loving others, thrives on the feelings one gets from helping others feel better about being alive.
Thus, whether God is or Isn't, wisdom decrees that developing more and more of that "precious quality" of humility into one's life will lead to a more enjoyable life (see the first page of Step 7, 12&12)
Yet, since going with a Perfectly Loving God "Is" rather than God "Isn't" takes away my right to be miserable, and there is no reward for the ego in my maintaining misery within me if I have no right to be miserable, then wisdom further informed me personally that the wisest course for this alcoholic would be to make a commitment for the rest of this lifetime, right or wrong, to base my reasoning on the actual existence of Integrated Powers of perfect love, understanding, wisdom, and truth backing up this business of living, which would then continuously provide me in a completely logical way with zero degree of permission for me to be miserable. God loves me, doesn't want me to be miserable, and if I am perfectly willing to let my ego fall away (the resistance to which is the reason any mental anguish will be found within me at all), I find the way to feeling serene of spirit, filled with peace of mind and a sense of being at home in the universe as much of the time as I desire to feel that way. And the more I feel that way, the more I want to feel that way, and the easier it becomes to return to step three whenever I am disturbed inside and once again lose my right to be miserable. That has been my way of trekking the road to humility, and while the road is long, perhaps the lifetimes to trek the road are many, and someday on a planet far away, I might find myself at the end of that road and become, as pure humility, finally completely free from the bondage of self, another individual portion of the "growth of God."
Phil said
Aug 28, 2005
yes-Humble pie is a good tasty treat every day.
With ego and pride ---the pie was always bigger than it really was.:) Doh
Wisdom? Im just not going there--for another few lifetimes.:)
Still learning how to cook some of this stuff.
-- Edited by Phil at 12:31, 2005-08-28
Dave Harm said
Aug 28, 2005
Humility is a "needed" cornerstone for a successful recovery. It elimates perfection and puts our ego ("E"arth "G"uide "O"nly) in its place. Humility is a well worth process and makes life more relaxing and less stressful. Years ago at a meeting someone said "humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's just thinking of yourself less."
Always an excellent subject at any meeting... or forum
As far as wisdom... "seek those who search for the truth and run from those who have found it."
Wisdom and humility go together, I always hope that I can continue to learn more and continue to grow on my journey...
Dave Harm
Creating Dreams
Rick said
Aug 29, 2005
God--I'm glad I'm still trying to learn
Always remain teachable
once I knew too much,I drank
today just trying to be a part of a big thing
practice these principales in ALL my affairs--not always easy--practice not perfection??
Only thru AA was i able to look at me--DUH
Rick said
Aug 29, 2005
Wendy
I forgot--thank you so much--I need these reminders as I'm the worlds best forgetter.
here is the definition which sat in plaque form on Dr Bob's desk during his sober years. "Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all about is seeming trouble." (Dr. Bob and The Good Old Timers pg. 222)
One can certainly not act one's way to that place. One can only opt for being in that place and let the deflation of one's ego that is an inherent part of staying surrendered to the Twelve Steps take one there (See the first sentence of step 5, 12&12).
i had to share a friends perspective:( one of)
My take on this subject is that the movement from egoism towards humility is an inevitable one for all humans. A human will be moved very slowly in that direction simply from the ever increasing pain involved in trying not to be moved in that direction. It is when one becomes willing to be moved in that direction ("The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines") that great leaps in movement can finally be made. When one is finally willing to "opt" for being in that place, rather than to continue to stay joined to the hopeless and ultimately meaningless "games people play" in order to maintain and display one's great sense of specialness to themselves and others, then the process of letting oneself be moved in that direction becomes a simple feedback system: I hurt inside, I take full responsibility for ending the pain, I change my way of thinking (always in a humbling direction) in order to end the pain, and I am one modicum of ego smaller after each employing of that process. It has been, for me, the Third Step that has made the changed way of thinking a simple matter. If one meditates upon that step, one will discover that in the taking of that step with deadly seriousness, remaining ever willing to continue to implement the decision one makes there, one loses one's right to be miserable. One loses one's right to entertain mental anguish within one's self no matter what the reason. God loves me and wants me to feel good or else there is no God. If there is no God the only sensible way to live life is to learn how to feel really good as much of the time as I can possibly feel really good. Since there is no feeling good without peace of mind, this learning would then include how to get to the point in my life when I have no problem living within the golden rule, as there can be no peace of mind for one living outside the golden rule.
Wisdom decrees that the only way I am going to have no trouble living within the golden rule is if I am willing to trade in old ideas concerning the worthiness of competition and comparison for an internal desire for the way of cooperation and living and letting live. Egoism, with a nil capacity for loving others, thrives on becoming a winner. Humility, with its infinite capacity for loving others, thrives on the feelings one gets from helping others feel better about being alive.
Thus, whether God is or Isn't, wisdom decrees that developing more and more of that "precious quality" of humility into one's life will lead to a more enjoyable life (see the first page of Step 7, 12&12)
Yet, since going with a Perfectly Loving God "Is" rather than God "Isn't" takes away my right to be miserable, and there is no reward for the ego in my maintaining misery within me if I have no right to be miserable, then wisdom further informed me personally that the wisest course for this alcoholic would be to make a commitment for the rest of this lifetime, right or wrong, to base my reasoning on the actual existence of Integrated Powers of perfect love, understanding, wisdom, and truth backing up this business of living, which would then continuously provide me in a completely logical way with zero degree of permission for me to be miserable. God loves me, doesn't want me to be miserable, and if I am perfectly willing to let my ego fall away (the resistance to which is the reason any mental anguish will be found within me at all), I find the way to feeling serene of spirit, filled with peace of mind and a sense of being at home in the universe as much of the time as I desire to feel that way. And the more I feel that way, the more I want to feel that way, and the easier it becomes to return to step three whenever I am disturbed inside and once again lose my right to be miserable. That has been my way of trekking the road to humility, and while the road is long, perhaps the lifetimes to trek the road are many, and someday on a planet far away, I might find myself at the end of that road and become, as pure humility, finally completely free from the bondage of self, another individual portion of the "growth of God."
yes-Humble pie is a good tasty treat every day.
With ego and pride ---the pie was always bigger than it really was.:) Doh
Wisdom? Im just not going there--for another few lifetimes.:)
Still learning how to cook some of this stuff.
-- Edited by Phil at 12:31, 2005-08-28
God--I'm glad I'm still trying to learn
Always remain teachable
once I knew too much,I drank
today just trying to be a part of a big thing
practice these principales in ALL my affairs--not always easy--practice not perfection??
Only thru AA was i able to look at me--DUH
Wendy
I forgot--thank you so much--I need these reminders as I'm the worlds best forgetter.