I heard someone say the other day that coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Am I really supposed to believe that God is involved in every insignificant piece of luck I have? It's a bit much for me to believe that my Higher Power is interested in whether or not I get a good parking space. And what about the days when everything isn't going my way?
Sponsor
Some people experience coincidence as evidence that our lives are in the hands of a loving God, and some see good or bad luck simply as part of the randomness of events. Maintaining good recovery doesn't require that we take a stand on this subject!
There's another way of thinking about seemingly chance happenings.Wherever they come from, whatever else they are, coincidences are sober opportunities. When I bump into someone I've been thinking about making amends to, I have an opportunity to do it on the spot, and I don't pass it up. When I've been avoiding taking one particular Step and find myself at a meeting where that very Step is being discussed, I have a chance to let go of my resistance then and there.
What we call coincidence involves a meeting of events with our own awakened spirit. In recovery, we often see openings for taking action and for feeling gratitude -- opportunities that we would have missed if we were still active in our addictions.
Today, I am awake and alive to opportunities for sober action.
Phil said
Aug 25, 2005
A fear of unworthiness. The natural insecurity of the ego reinforces our unconscious fear that we are not good enough, that we are not worthy of love and loving. It’s in this judgment of ourselves that we become more and more insecure, more and more defensive.
Defensiveness. When somebody verbally attacks you and you defend, look inside yourself and question your addictive behavior. What are you are defending and why? What are you hiding from? What is the primary feeling you are experiencing? Is it insecurity perhaps?
Lessons in fear. Fear is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. The lower your level of self-acceptance, the greater your levels of fear. Remember, when you truly know and accept yourself unconditionally, there can be nothing left to fear. Don’t strive to overcome and defeat fear. Accept fear as nothing more than an emotional illusion, a toothless tiger created by your ego-mind in order to validate its existence.
Illogical reasoning of the fearful ego-mind. A core issue for humanity is that we do not feel worthy of acceptance, either of ourselves or by others. This insecurity will manifest in many ways such as possessiveness, jealousy or the need to be right. If you are possessive, you fear loss. If there is a need to be right, it is because you fear to be wrong, and if you are wrong then you must be unacceptable. Behold the illogical reasoning of the ego-mind!
Embrace the fear. Fear will never go away while it is invalidated, while you are trying to push it away, or suppress it. By placing your attention and focus upon fear, your are empowering and feeding it in a way. So rather than reject your fear, recognize and then embrace it. Imagine the fear is really the insecure child within you. Visualize picking up the child, embracing it and telling it you understand and accept it exactly as it is. Through acceptance, the child within will be frightened no more.
Fear expressed as anger. When there is no blame, when you take responsibility for the circumstances and the thoughts creating the anger then the fury, the emotional anger within, may be embraced and accepted. The opportunity to expand your conscious awareness has been successfully addressed and you have taken another step forward in your journey of self-discovery.
Fear of abandonment. Our fear of being left, abandoned and cut-off from the love and acceptance we so desperately need from others is the single most threatening fear people have to deal with. All other fears are secondary to this primary need for love and acceptance.
Fear of lack of supply. The never ending demand for the acquisition of more and more things is the result of the fear of not having enough. Our hunt for supply is therefore based on fear.
Focused attention. Deny light to a plant and it will fade and die. Deny attention to a fear and it too will fade and die. Focus light on a plant and it re-energizes and grows. Focus attention on a fear and it too energizes and grows.
Fear of loss. You can’t lose anything because the only thing you’ve ever really had is yourself. Objects and possessions come and go. What remains is yourself. Everything in creation is made of energy. The ego gets attached to certain forms of energy that it doesn’t want to see dissolved, be it a house, a sum of money or a relationship. The ego struggles to defend these objects from dissolution. However, you can’t fight to make a flower bloom, it just happens. You can’t struggle to make an egg-cell evolve into a baby, it just happens. The ego readily accepts these facts about flowers and babies, but not about houses, money, relationships and other things it gets attached to. The same Universal Law governs all life.
Prisoner of the past. Each time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past, or a pioneer of the present. The past is closed and limited while the present moment is open and free.
Fear creates doubt. Fear and doubt are partners of the ego. That which you doubt will cause you to feel afraid. That which you fear creates doubts about your ability to handle it. Each emotion feeds off the other, strengthening the addictive demands of the ego.
Performance motivated by fear. When we live in fear, the focus of our life is the seeking of approval and avoidance of rejection. With fear, you tend to believe your value is based on your performance. According to the ego, if you perform well, you are worthy if you fail to perform well, you are worthless.
Focus on the good in others. We are all good, decent souls who occasionally get lost. Even those we label as criminals were not born bad. They were taught how to develop dysfunctional attitudes that causes bad behavior. When you can focus on the good in another and hold that in your mind, you are acting from a higher level of consciousness. This higher awareness helps dissipate anger and fear.
Fearful employment. Fear is what keeps most people working in a job they hate.
Being one of the herd. My free will and free mind gives me the empowerment to create my own path through life. Giving up my power to the will of others is allowing myself to become one of the fearful herd. With blinkers off, I’ll listen with tolerance to what others have to say, but I will not allow the fears and opinions of others to lead me from my own individual path. Not even the persistent chatter of my own ego.
Chance everywhere has power.
--Ovid
Newcomer
I heard someone say the other day that coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Am I really supposed to believe that God is involved in every insignificant piece of luck I have? It's a bit much for me to believe that my Higher Power is interested in whether or not I get a good parking space. And what about the days when everything isn't going my way?
Sponsor
Some people experience coincidence as evidence that our lives are in the hands of a loving God, and some see good or bad luck simply as part of the randomness of events. Maintaining good recovery doesn't require that we take a stand on this subject!
There's another way of thinking about seemingly chance happenings.Wherever they come from, whatever else they are, coincidences are sober opportunities. When I bump into someone I've been thinking about making amends to, I have an opportunity to do it on the spot, and I don't pass it up. When I've been avoiding taking one particular Step and find myself at a meeting where that very Step is being discussed, I have a chance to let go of my resistance then and there.
What we call coincidence involves a meeting of events with our own awakened spirit. In recovery, we often see openings for taking action and for feeling gratitude -- opportunities that we would have missed if we were still active in our addictions.
Today, I am awake and alive to opportunities for sober action.
The natural insecurity of the ego reinforces our unconscious fear that we are not good enough, that we are not worthy of love and loving. It’s in this judgment of ourselves that we become more and more insecure, more and more defensive.
Defensiveness.
When somebody verbally attacks you and you defend, look inside yourself and question your addictive behavior. What are you are defending and why? What are you hiding from? What is the primary feeling you are experiencing? Is it insecurity perhaps?
Lessons in fear.
Fear is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. The lower your level of self-acceptance, the greater your levels of fear. Remember, when you truly know and accept yourself unconditionally, there can be nothing left to fear. Don’t strive to overcome and defeat fear. Accept fear as nothing more than an emotional illusion, a toothless tiger created by your ego-mind in order to validate its existence.
Illogical reasoning of the fearful ego-mind.
A core issue for humanity is that we do not feel worthy of acceptance, either of ourselves or by others. This insecurity will manifest in many ways such as possessiveness, jealousy or the need to be right. If you are possessive, you fear loss. If there is a need to be right, it is because you fear to be wrong, and if you are wrong then you must be unacceptable. Behold the illogical reasoning of the ego-mind!
Embrace the fear.
Fear will never go away while it is invalidated, while you are trying to push it away, or suppress it. By placing your attention and focus upon fear, your are empowering and feeding it in a way. So rather than reject your fear, recognize and then embrace it. Imagine the fear is really the insecure child within you. Visualize picking up the child, embracing it and telling it you understand and accept it exactly as it is. Through acceptance, the child within will be frightened no more.
Fear expressed as anger.
When there is no blame, when you take responsibility for the circumstances and the thoughts creating the anger then the fury, the emotional anger within, may be embraced and accepted. The opportunity to expand your conscious awareness has been successfully addressed and you have taken another step forward in your journey of self-discovery.
Fear of abandonment.
Our fear of being left, abandoned and cut-off from the love and acceptance we so desperately need from others is the single most threatening fear people have to deal with. All other fears are secondary to this primary need for love and acceptance.
Fear of lack of supply.
The never ending demand for the acquisition of more and more things is the result of the fear of not having enough. Our hunt for supply is therefore based on fear.
Focused attention.
Deny light to a plant and it will fade and die. Deny attention to a fear and it too will fade and die. Focus light on a plant and it re-energizes and grows. Focus attention on a fear and it too energizes and grows.
Fear of loss.
You can’t lose anything because the only thing you’ve ever really had is yourself. Objects and possessions come and go. What remains is yourself. Everything in creation is made of energy. The ego gets attached to certain forms of energy that it doesn’t want to see dissolved, be it a house, a sum of money or a relationship. The ego struggles to defend these objects from dissolution. However, you can’t fight to make a flower bloom, it just happens. You can’t struggle to make an egg-cell evolve into a baby, it just happens. The ego readily accepts these facts about flowers and babies, but not about houses, money, relationships and other things it gets attached to. The same Universal Law governs all life.
Prisoner of the past.
Each time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past, or a pioneer of the present. The past is closed and limited while the present moment is open and free.
Fear creates doubt.
Fear and doubt are partners of the ego. That which you doubt will cause you to feel afraid. That which you fear creates doubts about your ability to handle it. Each emotion feeds off the other, strengthening the addictive demands of the ego.
Performance motivated by fear.
When we live in fear, the focus of our life is the seeking of approval and avoidance of rejection. With fear, you tend to believe your value is based on your performance. According to the ego, if you perform well, you are worthy if you fail to perform well, you are worthless.
Focus on the good in others.
We are all good, decent souls who occasionally get lost. Even those we label as criminals were not born bad. They were taught how to develop dysfunctional attitudes that causes bad behavior. When you can focus on the good in another and hold that in your mind, you are acting from a higher level of consciousness. This higher awareness helps dissipate anger and fear.
Fearful employment.
Fear is what keeps most people working in a job they hate.
Being one of the herd.
My free will and free mind gives me the empowerment to create my own path through life. Giving up my power to the will of others is allowing myself to become one of the fearful herd. With blinkers off, I’ll listen with tolerance to what others have to say, but I will not allow the fears and opinions of others to lead me from my own individual path. Not even the persistent chatter of my own ego.