Hello, I have never been to an AA meeting, nor received counseling for alcoholism. I don't know what the 12 step program is, but I have heard about it. I am not so much interested in that, as I am just getting a little advice.

MY girlfriend and I have started this great new diet, and it is working to lose weight. But it requires no alcohol, or wine.  Well, my girlfriend will flat out say "yes I am an alcoholic and that's just how I am, I have the genetics for it."  I am really wanting this diet to work though.  We both used to have mixed drinks almost daily. But, lately it is a little better by only being maybe 2 or 3 times a week.  

I have a hard time with it though because I crave Jack Daniels so bad that I can almost taste it by thinking about it.  But I think I can stop myself because I want to lose weight. However, I think my girlfriend and I enable each other because sometimes I dont want to drink due to the diet, but she will say that she'll have just one. Then I will say well I can have just one, and that turns into 5, and we have a bottle of wine, and by the end of the night we are just trying to keep the room from spinning.

I am somewhat afraid that if I stop drinking, and I want her to stop too, then it may come between us. I don't know.  But tonight I know she wants to have a drink, which means about 4 or 5. I know when I smell her's that the craving for me to have one will be insane.

Where do I go from here?

Tough question!

I know that when I realised I had to stop drinking that was my choice and my choice only. My fiancee still drinks (in moderation at weekends) but only because I said that it did'nt bother me.

Only the drinker can make the decision for themselves. Pressurising someone will only cause resentment. I may be wrong on this but my advice is to lead by example. It will be hard to put up with your partmer when she is drunk and you are sober, but hopefully she may 'see the light' from your efforts.

Don't just take my word, other advise will follow.

 

Best wishes and good luck.

 

Chris.

Hi Blonde and Welcome. We we know theres not much one can do about anothers drinking and choices, but we do know that there is something we can do about ours.:)

If you think that you have a problem(and you are the only one that can honestly answer that one) the ability to say no to the first drink will likely help, and to tell your freind honestly how you feel. If shes a true freind she will understand and respect how you feel, and take it from there.

The other thing is--if you feel you need help with staying stopped on a daily basis Alcoholcs Anonymous is a great way to start. Meetings-joining us here, and sharing, as we share with you.

Your life Gal-your call.  Have a great day!!  We Care

 

The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditations to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Hello and welcome - I've heard of a lot of different ways to quit drinking, but never as a diet. If it works more power to you. Look at the 12 steps Phil put in - for the alcoholic this is the way of life. And the best way to learn how they apply to everyday living can only be found at AA. Go to a meeting, listen and decide for yourself. For me, the hardest part in early sobriety was the fact that - for me to stay sober some friends had to go. To stay sober, I needed to change "playgrounds and playmates." Yes, it hurt. But after awhile, I began to realize that our "friendship" was built on alcohol - nothing else. And as my sobriety went from days to years - I used to chuckle when these friends slowly started drifting to AA meetings. One friendship was built on alcohol, but a new stronger friendship was built through AA. Best wishes, Dave Harm Creating dreams

Good luck with the diet, but it doesn't seem to be working. Alcohol has a huge number of calories! Generally speaking we only get the desire to be sober when the pain of drinking exceeds the pain we anticipate in staying sober. Luckily that pain is often nowhere near as bad as we anticipate especialy IF we hook up to a group like AA. Socialization is probably the most important thing you can do in the beginning and AA offers probably the very best way to do this, with lots of help along the way. Online AA is fine but you must get out into the real world to get the best results. Confronting your fear here is your first step in building a whole new life; go to a meeting in your local area. Check the phone book for a Central Office if you live in a large urban center or check online for the number or contact info for smaller communities. Failing that phone your local hospital and ask them when the AA meeting there meets. Nearly all smaller community hospitals have a meeting. Meantime I'll be praying for you!