If we truly have unconditional love for someone, do we...
criticize how they eat?
do we call them fat, and a fat blob that makes them ill?
do we criticize how they dress?
do we tell them to go to a washroom if they wish to blow their nose in a resturant?
do we tell them that their feet are ugly, and to wear their socks to bed?
do we tell them what they should be doing and not doing, in their daily business?
do we dump a bowl of cheesies on their heads if we think they have made a rude gesture, and really havent?
do we criticize things, they do for us, because its not what we want, or its not done the way we want it done.
Do we criticize them for not giving their part-when they spend hundreds of dollars, and work their butts off, and sacrifice a lot of things, so they can spend time with us, and doing what they can for us, when they are with us?
Do we put up walls, when theres a disagreement or an argument, and just say--screw you--the realtionship is over?
Do we condem the other person if they smoke--even if they do it outside, and away from us? Do we tell them what they should and shouldnt be doing re their health?
Do we tell them they cant go to an AA meeting in the same village because we are afraid of what people will think?
Do we tell them that we are not wearing the wedding ring because its just a peice of tin, and really is not important right now--we might put one on later?
Do we tell them that they cant go to a certain barber in town, because they think hes Queer? but is really a pretty nice guy--but likes to gossip and talk a lot?
Do we tell them the neighbour is weird, and make judgements that we really dont care to be comunicative with him-so Ide rather you just stay away from him?
Do we quit going to our meetings, and say I dont need them any more? Im ok now?--as we are going backwards into old patterns and old ways of thinking, acting, and reacting?
Do we hang onto resentment and anger from the past and not forgive the other person for any words or hurts caused.
Do we feel more comfortable just hanging onto all the grudges, and resentments and just stay angry? and just justify everything with blame?
Do we turn love off and on like a tap--if the other person peeves us off? Shut ourselves down, and use the silent treatment as punishment?
-------------------------------
Doesnt sound like true unconditional love to me. It sounds like control--and my way or the highway.
-------------------------
And Im not even done the list.-lol
Ohhh wellll-got some more shit out.:)
ellen said
Jul 27, 2005
phil, are you okay?
Phil said
Jul 27, 2005
Yes Ellen Im good.:) Just getting rid of some underlying anger-lol
They say not to hold it in--to let it out-you will feel better-
Well Gal? I feel a whole lot better(Smile)
nancyjo59 said
Jul 27, 2005
phil,
hoping your feeling better after your vent.
your vent gave me lots to think about
nancy jo
GammyRose said
Jul 27, 2005
We love you too Phil, keep venting, don't let the resentments build.
As alcoholics we know that resentments and anger are something we cannot afford to hold on to, as it will lead to other things. I bet you feel better after letting all that out.
Stay sober and keep venting here and meetings, meetings and more meetings.One day, one hour, one minute....
If we truly have unconditional love for someone, do we...
criticize how they eat?
do we call them fat, and a fat blob that makes them ill?
do we criticize how they dress?
do we tell them to go to a washroom if they wish to blow their nose in a resturant?
do we tell them that their feet are ugly, and to wear their socks to bed?
do we tell them what they should be doing and not doing, in their daily business?
do we dump a bowl of cheesies on their heads if we think they have made a rude gesture, and really havent?
do we criticize things, they do for us, because its not what we want, or its not done the way we want it done.
Do we criticize them for not giving their part-when they spend hundreds of dollars, and work their butts off, and sacrifice a lot of things, so they can spend time with us, and doing what they can for us, when they are with us?
Do we put up walls, when theres a disagreement or an argument, and just say--screw you--the realtionship is over?
Do we condem the other person if they smoke--even if they do it outside, and away from us? Do we tell them what they should and shouldnt be doing re their health?
Do we tell them they cant go to an AA meeting in the same village because we are afraid of what people will think?
Do we tell them that we are not wearing the wedding ring because its just a peice of tin, and really is not important right now--we might put one on later?
Do we tell them that they cant go to a certain barber in town, because they think hes Queer? but is really a pretty nice guy--but likes to gossip and talk a lot?
Do we tell them the neighbour is weird, and make judgements that we really dont care to be comunicative with him-so Ide rather you just stay away from him?
Do we quit going to our meetings, and say I dont need them any more? Im ok now?--as we are going backwards into old patterns and old ways of thinking, acting, and reacting?
Do we hang onto resentment and anger from the past and not forgive the other person for any words or hurts caused.
Do we feel more comfortable just hanging onto all the grudges, and resentments and just stay angry? and just justify everything with blame?
Do we turn love off and on like a tap--if the other person peeves us off? Shut ourselves down, and use the silent treatment as punishment?
-------------------------------
Doesnt sound like true unconditional love to me. It sounds like control--and my way or the highway.
-------------------------
And Im not even done the list.-lol
Ohhh wellll-got some more shit out.:)
Yes Ellen Im good.:) Just getting rid of some underlying anger-lol
They say not to hold it in--to let it out-you will feel better-
Well Gal? I feel a whole lot better(Smile)
phil,
hoping your feeling better after your vent.
your vent gave me lots to think about
nancy jo
We love you too Phil, keep venting, don't let the resentments build.
As alcoholics we know that resentments and anger are something we cannot afford to hold on to, as it will lead to other things. I bet you feel better after letting all that out.
Stay sober and keep venting here and meetings, meetings and more meetings.One day, one hour, one minute....
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose