ev thing was ok untill sunday after work,my ex was stood there begging me to have him back,i felt strong and said no.sat at home for an hr tops on my own and that bloody little voice started....just get 8 it will be ok!!it was'nt.needless to say this section went on til monday evening i couldnt get my son to school and on the sunday night it turns out i invited the male shop owner around(didnt have sex thankgod).only just getting my act together today(wed).i woke monday morning to find id wet myself again my ex came round on the monday morning we both drank and  a physical fight accured.i this time ended up worse.

now i know that it just cant be 8 or anything,i admire you all on here for your strength and would love some tips on how to push that little voice away? i have to get through this, thought this time i was going to die.was on the phone to the samaritans with a box of pills on my lap although couldnt take them without throwing up. i will do it this time i have to for my son,he was locked out because i was unconcious on monday tryed to desparatly get in because my nan had rang him to say mums going to kill herself!! he is a lovely child and deserves a proper home life.will these cravings go and eventually guilt overtake that little pee'd up drunk voice in m head?i have to get it together and face facts that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. alena xx

Hi Alena, hugs to you

Admitting we have a problem is the biggest and first step, congratulations. You have the strength and courage in your heart, just tap into it. We do recovery one day at a time. Just for today don't pick up that first drink, its not the second or third drink that gets us in trouble, it's the first one. Don't concern yourself with what happened yesterday, you can't change it, nor tomorrow, just today. It's really all we have. Take it one minute at a time, one hour at a time. Look up Alcoholics Anonymous in your area. They have a 24 hour hotline you can call anytime.

AA saved my life, if I can do it, you can too!! I have faith in you!

Keep posting here how you are feeling, especially when you get the urge to drink. Sharing how we feel takes it's power away. I still here that devillish little voice, but i just tell it to go lay down by it's dish!!! Every time I do that I feel stronger.

Keep coming back, you're worth the fight.

Hugs & hugs Wendy

Hi Alena, I'm glad you are back and posting. Wendy was right , this is a one day at a time deal and today is a new day. Don't pick up that first drink today, that's the way I've done it all these years.

You said in a previous post that you use to go to AA, there is no reason to not go back. The groups I attend always welcome people back with open arms.That's what we are there for , to help people who have a desire to stop drinking. I wish I was there to walk back in that room with you but I have faith that you can do it. Please get to a meeting, take that step, you have already admitted you are powerless over alcohol. You are worth living a life without the drink, you child needs you . Hang in there, keep posting, and saying the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

As everyone else has said...call AA. It's first in the phone book...call and ask for a 12 step call. Just for the next few minutes, don't pick up that drink. You can make it...one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, then one day at a time. Find someone you can call before you go to pick up the alcohol. Talk to them before you go to buy it, and keep calling them everytime you feel the urge to run to the store. That little voice? I chopped wood, cut lawns, scrubbed walls, scoured sinks and counters,etc. to shut it up. My house was clean!!! But the little voice kept quiet while I was busy...so keep busy.

Let us know how you're doing.

Love,cheri

There is no doubt in my mind that without AA, I wouldn't have survived a week... They were a voice of sanity, when everything else was insane...  The more you go to meetings, the more you realize that you want their life, you deserve their live.

In 1986, I admitted I was an alcoholic, this kept me dry for five and a half years, but eventually, I went back to drinking because I had made rotten choices with relationships and never really went to AA.  I went on a two year drunk and then finally found AA.  Then I realized I had to do more then admit I had a problem.  I had to ACCEPT that I was (take that back) that I AM an alcoholic.  By accepting, I was able to see that a lot of my relationships were very toxic and had to end.  And by accepting, I knew that one drink was to many.

And by accepting, even 10 years without a drink, I know I have one more good drunk in me, but I'm not sure if I have one more recovery in me... "A"dmitting and "A"ccepting - hey that's AA!

In my thoughts and prayers,

Dave

www.daveharm.com

thanks for post,its day 3 today and still feel memory low and totally how can i put it 'well not with it'! but today ive agreed to fill in at work(only usually do one day),anyway been scrubbing my carpet where i peed the smell wont go.might have to bin it. feel like im always moaning but it helps to read and talk on here. the problem with AA is not only shame of starting to drink again but the fact that got drunk one day and rang for some help,to a lady that said ring her to chat.she didnt have time to talk so i told her to forget it.anyway there is other meetings so going to enquire else where.

thanks for all your advice,and keep well xxxxx ps got kid to school via car and was nice to wake up sober ,