Last night I got yelled at by my best friend. I am sober 22 days. She said she's surprised I didnt lose my job for being taken into protective custody 3 weeks ago.

She said I would lose everything if I drink.

She spent an hour talking with my son and two minutes telling me how awful I am.

If I'd had a bottle somewhere I'd have surely taken it.

I thought people were suppose to encourage us. Today is a huge day. If I can go without a drink today, I can do it forever.

Aw mate...tis ok. You are sober! You thought about drinking and chose not to. You're making some huge progress here...getting stronger every day.

We only give folks the title of best friends, when we come to a place where we can trust them, and believe in the relationship we have. So don't feel hurt by her friendship, just trust she cares for you and your son, and she just wants to see things working out for you all. She may have been a bit harsh, or not handled it very well, or maybe she handled it really well...because you are here talking about it.

Facing ourselves and admitting we make things worse when we drink, is hard. Tis necessary but. Whatever you did 3 weeks ago, can be slowly put right today. You can forgive yourself, count your blessings that you still have job, family etc and decide to join AA and not to go back down that road again.....but sometimes others are a bit wary at first... when we first decide to change the way we do things... they have to learn to trust in the change. That takes a while sometimes, and we can't really blame them for wanting to hammer the message home, or test us or whatever. They often no little about AA and usually they've been the ones 'taking up the slack' so to speak, when we've been out there running amuck.

Focus on your friendship today mate, do a bit of an inventory on how many times your mate has been there for you, helped you out, and kept the boat afloat during your drinking days. Is it a friendship worth holding onto? Is it something worth valuing? Or is it something that might belong in your yesterdays? Whatever you decide, you will feel better after making a decision and trusting in it enough to act on it.

I remember being slammed by my mother for years after I got sober. She could knock me down and make me feel like slime in seconds. I just kept thinking, "It's different now...I don't drink." but she had a really hard time trusting that. Eventually, I realised all I could do was honour my own decision - stay sober and live the best way I can.

You are doing great. You faced a big deal with your best friend, and you kept your head. You didn't drink. Feel proud of that mate - because we all know and understand how tricky that situation is.

When I feel hurt by people, I try to remind myself:

"It is only through a broken heart, that true love and faith can get in."

Believe in yourself today, mate. I believe in you.

Hey Back, I'm glad you posted here and you haven't taken that drink. Just for today you don't have to drink.

Nic said it all. I would only ask one thing, are you going to AA? I sure hope so. I can't really do this deal without the support of people with skin on. They are the friends who understand me, even when I don't and they are there for me, just like we are here for you. Only other alcoholics can really feel your feelings and help you through this. I know your friend wants to but if she's not an alcoholic, she just doesn't get it. It's not her fault, it's not yours, it just is...

And 22 days sober is great, and you did it one day at a time, and before you know it you will have a month.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Hey there...we love you. Friends and families are supportive, they're just not sure how to go about it sometimes. To them, that 3 weeks ago is so fresh in thier minds, and it's not that long ago. They are still living it and think that you are too.What they don't realize is that to an alcoholic, 3 weeks without a drink is a looong time. So your're starting to feel really good about what's happening,,your mind and body are starting to heal,,,you may actually have a few thoughts that make sense. If you haven't done so already, it's time to get a sponsor and start working the steps. Remember, this is a program of action, in order to keep those feelings you have to do the work. It's a simple program...but you have to work it. 

Love, cheri

Thank you for your posts, the day did get better. In answer to Gammy, yes I do AA. Last night I got a sponsor. The shock of the night was when I looked across the room and saw a woman I use to work with who was the guidance counselor at the school I worked in.

She's been sober 7 years. I almost fell off my chair. I NEVER would have susupected her to be a drinker. My god. That was my miracle of yesterday.

we talked and exchanged numbers, it was great.

I;m trying to control the mess in my head and keep dwelling on my job. Even though what happened last month was NOT work related, what if someone hears that I was on suicide watch? I cannot have that happen. Would they be able to ask me about it? What are my personal/professional boundaries?

I know I shouldnt do that, fear and doubt and worry. But this is still really new for me.

Love to you, all of you! Tami

Tami, I'm so glad things are working the way they are suppose to. AA meeting, sponsor, God putting someone you know in your path and you reconizing the miracle...Wow! it works if you work it. Now you have her number use it.

When will you be talking to your sponsor. She will be able to help you sort through the job thing. Wendy on this board has been going through a similar situation. I never revealed to my employers about my alcoholism at first, but it almost always came up later , and no one ever had a problem, they knew I was sober and working a program. Now, I'm self employed so it doesn't come up.

I'm still thinking about the woman you saw last night, thinking about how many people I've seen walk through the doors and thought," Oh okay, great! I'm glad they have found us."The beauty of the program is it is truly anonymous.I live in a very small town, know everyone,but not everything about them.Don't need too.

Thanks for checking in. Keep posting and working your program.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Hi Tami,

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. You getting a sponsor is probably one of the best things you can do for your recovery. Isn't it great how God does for us what we can't do for ourselves?

Not sure about your question...do you mean if work hears about you going to AA and why you started? It has been my experience that most people in AA do not talk about what they hear in meetings, but I know that it can happen. So only share what you are comfortable with others knowing about, and talk with your sponsor about very private matters. If for some reason your employer asks you about it, tell them you are in recovery and leave it at that.

All the feelings of doubt and fear and worry will leave you...that promise is made in the big book. Enjoy the feelings of joy and freedom that will come as you work these steps.

Love, cheri