I have no idea what you looking to be explained my freind--re the following part of a post from below.
I can remember a day or so ago responding to a post by someone that was asking for advice, and my answer was, I beleive--that "You do what you feel is right" which simple means "be honest."
Nothing to complicate there.:)
If someone was asking me if they should or should not jump off a cliff-I might respond by saying "There might be a bit of pain involved when hitting the bottom" but the decision to jump is entirely up to you.
We have no authority as AA or Alanon members, on here, to tell anyone here what to do. All we can do is share experience strength and hope with each other--and yes, I beleive that we do that with love and support.
"Could someone please explain to me why AA's would offer no support on an online board (where there clearly is no threat of direct rescue) and an evasive comment to a fellow member who is asking for help? I have tried, and I can see no reasonable explanation for this, and yet it continues, so I must be missing something... What is the fear? Is it just a habit with no reason? Is it something like blokes keeping whale hooks in their fishing box, just in case? Do folks think people don't really want an answer?
I ask folks directly - because I genuinely would like to understand this:- Surely you do not doubt yourself that much that you are unable to guide from within your own experience, strength or hope, lean on existing laws or guidelines, or help someone clarify or analyse to move forward?...Would you respond like that if someone was standing in front of you asking you whether they should jump of a cliff?..."Oh, I really can't answer that!" It really has me buggered...I just don't get it. Can someone please explain?"
And please don't say "You really can't answer it"
Nic said
Jun 6, 2005
And if s/he jumped...would you then come to a meeting and say how sorry you are another person had lost their battle with alcoholism?... is that it?...Is it a way of deflecting responsibility, Phil?.... That they just didn't get it?
I don't want to appear obnoxious or anything...and I'm feeling a bit like I may be seen as crossing a line here....because I realise none of us want conflict, but nothing changes without it, and we are all here to grow and live, yes? I keep hearing the words "When anyone, anywhere..." when I read those comments. So, I hope folks don't mind me talking about this. The goal is not to divide.
When someone reaches their hand out (with a request for help), and we say we have nothing to offer them, or can't, or won't... what are we really offering them?
You don't think the person already knows that jumping off that cliff is going to hurt a whole heap? Maybe instead, he is in denial and really believes there's a heap of fluffy cushions down there waiting for him to frolic in?....
Tis worth thinking about...I've been thinking about it....not long ago when I was going through a lonely bit, someone on here saw me reach out, and he put out a hand. Quite honestly, it made all the difference and still does. He went beyond the standard offerings and reinforced all I understand about AA...he made a huge difference in my life and learning, by offering himself, his thoughts, his encouragment and guidance. He reached out to me and changed my outlook.
I have no idea what you looking to be explained my freind--re the following part of a post from below.
I can remember a day or so ago responding to a post by someone that was asking for advice, and my answer was, I beleive--that "You do what you feel is right" which simple means "be honest."
Nothing to complicate there.:)
If someone was asking me if they should or should not jump off a cliff-I might respond by saying "There might be a bit of pain involved when hitting the bottom" but the decision to jump is entirely up to you.
We have no authority as AA or Alanon members, on here, to tell anyone here what to do. All we can do is share experience strength and hope with each other--and yes, I beleive that we do that with love and support.
So Im confused. Then again--thats normal.:)
------------------------------------------------------
"Could someone please explain to me why AA's would offer no support on an online board (where there clearly is no threat of direct rescue) and an evasive comment to a fellow member who is asking for help? I have tried, and I can see no reasonable explanation for this, and yet it continues, so I must be missing something... What is the fear? Is it just a habit with no reason? Is it something like blokes keeping whale hooks in their fishing box, just in case? Do folks think people don't really want an answer?
I ask folks directly - because I genuinely would like to understand this:- Surely you do not doubt yourself that much that you are unable to guide from within your own experience, strength or hope, lean on existing laws or guidelines, or help someone clarify or analyse to move forward?...Would you respond like that if someone was standing in front of you asking you whether they should jump of a cliff?..."Oh, I really can't answer that!"
It really has me buggered...I just don't get it. Can someone please explain?"
And please don't say "You really can't answer it"
And if s/he jumped...would you then come to a meeting and say how sorry you are another person had lost their battle with alcoholism?... is that it?...Is it a way of deflecting responsibility, Phil?.... That they just didn't get it?
I don't want to appear obnoxious or anything...and I'm feeling a bit like I may be seen as crossing a line here....because I realise none of us want conflict, but nothing changes without it, and we are all here to grow and live, yes? I keep hearing the words "When anyone, anywhere..." when I read those comments. So, I hope folks don't mind me talking about this. The goal is not to divide.
When someone reaches their hand out (with a request for help), and we say we have nothing to offer them, or can't, or won't... what are we really offering them?
You don't think the person already knows that jumping off that cliff is going to hurt a whole heap? Maybe instead, he is in denial and really believes there's a heap of fluffy cushions down there waiting for him to frolic in?..
..
Tis worth thinking about...I've been thinking about it....not long ago when I was going through a lonely bit, someone on here saw me reach out, and he put out a hand. Quite honestly, it made all the difference and still does. He went beyond the standard offerings and reinforced all I understand about AA...he made a huge difference in my life and learning, by offering himself, his thoughts, his encouragment and guidance. He reached out to me and changed my outlook.
Tis very precious stuff, I reckon.