What do you think???
Ok friends...i need a little help with this one.... I've been at my job now for 3 1/2 months, some of you know it's at a personal care home...i look after 5 sweet little old ladies. My boss has to do a criminal background check on me..it's a liscensing requirment. I turned myself in on that pot charge and got an absolute discharge( which is great!!), but i was told recently that it will still show up on my record...hmmm...great... I have some theft charges from lots of years ago, shoplifting, that are on there. This worries me. In conversation not too long ago with my boss she mentioned that her husband is an active alcoholic. I''m considering telling her that I am too. So, before she does the actual background check, do you think i should sit down with her and tell her that i'm an alkie too? Do I tell her about the charges before she sees them for herself? Do I need to disclose the alcoholic part or just the thefts, or both? I'm also a drug addict and part of my job is to fill the meds for the next day. I haven't had any problems with this..as I believe i've lost my desire so I don't think I need to go into specifics with her and tell her that i'm a drug addict to. I really have been praying on this and just at a loss, i really like my job, i have a super, nice, down to earth boss, but the answers aren't coming to me. If she is not an alkie, just her husband, my thoughts are that either she'll understand or being on the opposite side of the coin, She won't. Bottom line is that I need this job. I want to be honest but how far do i go?? Not long ago a woman that i work with, her husband gave me a lift to work because he was picking her up anyways..we got talking about computers and he ended up coming to my apartment to help me fix something...i haven't been able to get into the chat room here and figure its because my firewall is set too high so he came to help...he asked me what kind of chat room it is that i'm having trouble with..i ended up telling him that i'm an addict...he put his hand out to shake mine and said part of the sernity prayer...he's a coke addict to! So he knows now that I am...he said he wouldn't tell his wife...i'm not really comfortable with having a secret....actually she is coming over today to give me a haircut...i've been contemplating telling her. She has worked there for 3 years and knows my boss pretty good. And may give me some insight on how my boss would take this news. But then people at work would know and that would make me wonder who's talking to who about what>??This too may be disclosing too much, but he knows already,,,from experience trust is an issue .. For all I know my boss knows about her husband...the difference there though is that he doesn't work for her. Anyways,,any advice, suggestions,,,input would is greatly appreciated!! thanks \\//Wendy
-- Edited by wantneeda at 11:06, 2005-06-05
-- Edited by wantneeda at 11:09, 2005-06-05
wagon said
Jun 5, 2005
im not sure but a background check will tell all . i think if you are up front with this would be best . that is what i would do god bless you and good luck WAGON !!!
Phil said
Jun 5, 2005
You do what you feel is the right thing to do Wendy. And I think you know what the answer is.:)
Nic said
Jun 5, 2005
Wooo there.
I do not recommend doing a step 5 with your whole workplace. One of the things we learn after a few failed fives (which most AA's would recall experiencing at least once, I think), is that it is absolutely paramount we disclose with the right people. Setting ourselves up for condemnation and rejection, especially in this case where it exists alongside an income, could be very dangerous.
If you have agreed to the criminal history, it is necessary that you disclose any relevent information. So yes - it would be best to tell her first. This is private information and cannot be discussed beyond the context in which it is provided. You specify the timeframe in which it took place and advise the employer of anything you would like considered (ie..offending age, plea bargain etc.) Alcoholism or addiction is not a criminal offence, though no doubt it contributes to many offences. It is unlikely to be seen as excusing your offences in any way, and could clearly be seen as a disability or liability to your workplace effectiveness. I see no need for you to ID with these people... unless you feel the need to carry the message to other sufferers.
Maybe try a five with your sponsor first Wendy?
GammyRose said
Jun 5, 2005
Hey Wendy, Advice is something we can't give you on this. I trust you will do what ever is right for you. If you pray about it, sit down and reason it out with your sponsor, the answer will come.If you discuss what she's going find out anyway, she learns it a bit sooner.
You are in my prayers.
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
back4good said
Jun 5, 2005
Wendy,
Simply tell her that you had some run in's with the law when you were younger. You may say you had some alcohol issues but no more than that.
If they believe in you, it will not matter much at all.
Ok friends...i need a little help with this one....
I've been at my job now for 3 1/2 months, some of you know it's at a personal care home...i look after 5 sweet little old ladies. My boss has to do a criminal background check on me..it's a liscensing requirment.
I turned myself in on that pot charge and got an absolute discharge( which is great!!), but i was told recently that it will still show up on my record...hmmm...great...
I have some theft charges from lots of years ago, shoplifting, that are on there. This worries me.
In conversation not too long ago with my boss she mentioned that her husband is an active alcoholic.
I''m considering telling her that I am too.
So, before she does the actual background check, do you think i should sit down with her and tell her that i'm an alkie too? Do I tell her about the charges before she sees them for herself?
Do I need to disclose the alcoholic part or just the thefts, or both?
I'm also a drug addict and part of my job is to fill the meds for the next day. I haven't had any problems with this..as I believe i've lost my desire so I don't think I need to go into specifics with her and tell her that i'm a drug addict to.
I really have been praying on this and just at a loss, i really like my job, i have a super, nice, down to earth boss, but the answers aren't coming to me.
If she is not an alkie, just her husband, my thoughts are that either she'll understand or being on the opposite side of the coin, She won't.
Bottom line is that I need this job. I want to be honest but how far do i go??
Not long ago a woman that i work with, her husband gave me a lift to work because he was picking her up anyways..we got talking about computers and he ended up coming to my apartment to help me fix something...i haven't been able to get into the chat room here and figure its because my firewall is set too high so he came to help...he asked me what kind of chat room it is that i'm having trouble with..i ended up telling him that i'm an addict...he put his hand out to shake mine and said part of the sernity prayer...he's a coke addict to! So he knows now that I am...he said he wouldn't tell his wife...i'm not really comfortable with having a secret....actually she is coming over today to give me a haircut...i've been contemplating telling her. She has worked there for 3 years and knows my boss pretty good. And may give me some insight on how my boss would take this news. But then people at work would know and that would make me wonder who's talking to who about what>??This too may be disclosing too much, but he knows already,,,from experience trust is an issue .. For all I know my boss knows about her husband...the difference there though is that he doesn't work for her.
Anyways,,any advice, suggestions,,,input would is greatly appreciated!!
thanks
\\//Wendy
-- Edited by wantneeda at 11:06, 2005-06-05
-- Edited by wantneeda at 11:09, 2005-06-05
You do what you feel is the right thing to do Wendy. And I think you know what the answer is.:)
Wooo there.
I do not recommend doing a step 5 with your whole workplace. One of the things we learn after a few failed fives (which most AA's would recall experiencing at least once, I think), is that it is absolutely paramount we disclose with the right people. Setting ourselves up for condemnation and rejection, especially in this case where it exists alongside an income, could be very dangerous.
If you have agreed to the criminal history, it is necessary that you disclose any relevent information. So yes - it would be best to tell her first. This is private information and cannot be discussed beyond the context in which it is provided. You specify the timeframe in which it took place and advise the employer of anything you would like considered (ie..offending age, plea bargain etc.) Alcoholism or addiction is not a criminal offence, though no doubt it contributes to many offences. It is unlikely to be seen as excusing your offences in any way, and could clearly be seen as a disability or liability to your workplace effectiveness. I see no need for you to ID with these people... unless you feel the need to carry the message to other sufferers.
Maybe try a five with your sponsor first Wendy?
Hey Wendy, Advice is something we can't give you on this. I trust you will do what ever is right for you. If you pray about it, sit down and reason it out with your sponsor, the answer will come.If you discuss what she's going find out anyway, she learns it a bit sooner.
You are in my prayers.
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
Simply tell her that you had some run in's with the law when you were younger. You may say you had some alcohol issues but no more than that.
If they believe in you, it will not matter much at all.
Back4good