Wedding Colors Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Bumper stickers, or some that should be.
~consiousness: that annoying time between naps. ~I used to have a handle on life, then i broke it. ~Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. ~I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. ~Better to understand a little than to misunderstand alot. ~Where's there's a will, i want to be in it. ~Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. ~We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? ~Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ~Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies. ~Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. ~He who laughs last thinks slowest. ~Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else. ~A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. ~Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. ~I won't rise to the occasion, but i'll slide slide over to it. ~What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? ~Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: just a radio, dad, with a sports car around it.
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure," replied her lover "whats your phone number?"
Snorer By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken/ "You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "or just a bed--I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired traveler assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning John, came down to breakfast bright0eyed and bushy-tailed. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring then?" "Nope. I shut him up in no time." "How'd you mangae that?" "He was already in bed,snoring away, when I came in the room," John said. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful.' With that he sat up all night watching me." :)
A man said his credit card was stolen but he dicided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Wedding Colors
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Bumper stickers, or some that should be.
~consiousness: that annoying time between naps.
~I used to have a handle on life, then i broke it.
~Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
~I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
~Better to understand a little than to misunderstand alot.
~Where's there's a will, i want to be in it.
~Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
~We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
~Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
~Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies.
~Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
~He who laughs last thinks slowest.
~Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else.
~A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
~Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
~I won't rise to the occasion, but i'll slide slide over to it.
~What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
~Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: just a radio, dad, with a sports car around it.
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "whats your phone number?"
Snorer
By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken/ "You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "or just a bed--I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager," and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired traveler assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning John, came down to breakfast bright0eyed and bushy-tailed. "Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring then?"
"Nope. I shut him up in no time."
"How'd you mangae that?"
"He was already in bed,snoring away, when I came in the room," John said.
"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful.' With that he sat up all night watching me."
:)
A man said his credit card was stolen but he dicided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.