Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had for a while. I drank lots of beer and 1.5 bottles of wine.
I cried all day.
HOW
Phil said
May 17, 2005
Well How? There is a better way, but yu gotta want to. And all it takes is willingness, surrendering to Step One.--and a bit of action.
The meetings are there. The people that understand how you feel, and what you are going through, are there. The road to recovery is there. You dont hafta be alone in all this, and you arent. Weve all been where youre at.
Your choice my freind. Your call. Take the recovery road with us. You wont regret it. Thinking of yu.
How said
May 17, 2005
Thanks,
My husband doesn't seem to accept that I'm really ill with this. I mean, I asked him to do something for me tonight so that I could get to a meeting, and he is like "hey, don't put pressure on me to do things for you" and I said "I'm entitled to ask you to do this as a favour so that I can get to the AA meeting which I really feel I need cos I'm so down". So he walked away saying he has enough pressure and I shouldn't be asking him to do this thing. (It is even something that he should be contributing to ANYWAY even if I wasn't trying to get to an AA meeting).
So I haven't had a drink today and I don't want to have a drink. Its so difficult with the depression, I haven't even gotten dressed yet, my hair is still wet. Does he think this is all going to disappear on its own?
On the plus side, I've decided to go and if the other thing doesn't get done then at least I will be sober and more capable of carrying out my responsibilities. Also after a wait of 4 months I've finally got an appointment with a counsellor on Thursday of this week.
Did you find that you just wanted to shut yourself away and not speak to ANYONE? I do.
How
Phil said
May 17, 2005
Isolate? Yup-many times. I was a loner inside myself--and yu know what? I felt pretty alone too. Not fun.
You will find tho that the only people that fully understand how you feel and what you go through on a daily basis are the people at the AA tables.
I can try to make others understand, but they really dont. If you drink a case of coke--and someone close to you has never tasted coke--well-you get my drift.
Theres likely a few resentments on others parts too, but theres not much you can do about that. The only thing you can really do is stay sober, and do your best. When others see you are doing that--itll start to close those spaces in between.
Everything takes time. :) And right now taking care of number one is the big priority.
wantneeda said
May 17, 2005
Hi How, We're here for you, if i let anything come before my sobriety i will lose it. I learned i can't rely on anyone but myself. I learned that someone elses negativity is their own Property,( thanks for that post Phil ) . I learned that the only ones who understand are the people in AA. I learned that the only way things changed for me was to quit drinking, go to meetings, and live, one day a t a time, one hour, one minute if necessary.
In my opinion it just doesn't matter if your husband ACCEPTS that you have a problem , what matters is that you recognize it and ACCEPT it.
If you want sobriety, recovery, put it first, get to the meetings, things will sart to get better. Time takes time.
You mentioned " does he think this is all going to disappear on its own?" Do you?
Myself, i could never have gotten out of my hell alone. I needed support from people who understood, who've been there. They loved me until i could start loving myself...but that love didn't stop there.
The only way i got to today was by not taking a drink and goiing to meetings. My compulsion has been lessened every day since i started working this program. I'm working on day 341, i got here one day at a time. I gotta work too on not having a drink today. Its a lifetime disease...but it can be arrested...put in remission so to speak..but only by not drinking. Only ham is cured :)
Don't drink, just for today.
Go to any length to get to a meeting.
for 10 days after my last drink i hid in my stepmoms basement...sleeping..somewhat eating.Isolating to the max..i understand how you feel .
then went into detox, a 28 day program and wanted to live so badly and stay clean and sober so i went to another treatment center for 3 1/2 months. In total 5 months. It saved my life.
I was introduced to AA.and took in tons of meetings..i learned alot about this disease..relapse prevention, i could go on.
i guess i jsut wanted to relate what worked for me. Keep coming back How. You're worth the fight, don't give up hope. \\// peace and love, Wendy
ellen said
May 17, 2005
what Wantneeda and Phil said!
You have to take care of yourself...In time when you get better your husband will probably understand what you were talking about. If not you will be better to deal with it.
I had to take care of me no matter what and I couldn't worry about what others thought because I wanted to stop the insanity so I could live not just survive.
I am a loner and it wasn't easy at first to be around people but it does get easier and easier.
Get to meetings and do what you need to do and it will work out the way it's suppose to.
Keep venting and we will always be here for you and thanks for being truthful that is what will help you achieve sobriety.
Hi,
Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had for a while. I drank lots of beer and 1.5 bottles of wine.
I cried all day.
HOW
Well How? There is a better way, but yu gotta want to. And all it takes is willingness, surrendering to Step One.--and a bit of action.
The meetings are there. The people that understand how you feel, and what you are going through, are there. The road to recovery is there. You dont hafta be alone in all this, and you arent. Weve all been where youre at.
Your choice my freind. Your call. Take the recovery road with us. You wont regret it. Thinking of yu.
Thanks,
My husband doesn't seem to accept that I'm really ill with this. I mean, I asked him to do something for me tonight so that I could get to a meeting, and he is like "hey, don't put pressure on me to do things for you" and I said "I'm entitled to ask you to do this as a favour so that I can get to the AA meeting which I really feel I need cos I'm so down". So he walked away saying he has enough pressure and I shouldn't be asking him to do this thing. (It is even something that he should be contributing to ANYWAY even if I wasn't trying to get to an AA meeting).
So I haven't had a drink today and I don't want to have a drink. Its so difficult with the depression, I haven't even gotten dressed yet, my hair is still wet. Does he think this is all going to disappear on its own?
On the plus side, I've decided to go and if the other thing doesn't get done then at least I will be sober and more capable of carrying out my responsibilities. Also after a wait of 4 months I've finally got an appointment with a counsellor on Thursday of this week.
Did you find that you just wanted to shut yourself away and not speak to ANYONE? I do.
How
Isolate? Yup-many times. I was a loner inside myself--and yu know what? I felt pretty alone too. Not fun.
You will find tho that the only people that fully understand how you feel and what you go through on a daily basis are the people at the AA tables.
I can try to make others understand, but they really dont. If you drink a case of coke--and someone close to you has never tasted coke--well-you get my drift.
Theres likely a few resentments on others parts too, but theres not much you can do about that. The only thing you can really do is stay sober, and do your best. When others see you are doing that--itll start to close those spaces in between.
Everything takes time. :) And right now taking care of number one is the big priority.
Hi How, We're here for you, if i let anything come before my sobriety i will lose it. I learned i can't rely on anyone but myself. I learned that someone elses negativity is their own Property,( thanks for that post Phil ) . I learned that the only ones who understand are the people in AA. I learned that the only way things changed for me was to quit drinking, go to meetings, and live, one day a t a time, one hour, one minute if necessary.
In my opinion it just doesn't matter if your husband ACCEPTS that you have a problem , what matters is that you recognize it and ACCEPT it.
If you want sobriety, recovery, put it first, get to the meetings, things will sart to get better. Time takes time.
You mentioned " does he think this is all going to disappear on its own?" Do you?
Myself, i could never have gotten out of my hell alone. I needed support from people who understood, who've been there. They loved me until i could start loving myself...but that love didn't stop there.
The only way i got to today was by not taking a drink and goiing to meetings. My compulsion has been lessened every day since i started working this program. I'm working on day 341, i got here one day at a time. I gotta work too on not having a drink today. Its a lifetime disease...but it can be arrested...put in remission so to speak..but only by not drinking. Only ham is cured :)
Don't drink, just for today.
Go to any length to get to a meeting.
for 10 days after my last drink i hid in my stepmoms basement...sleeping..somewhat eating.Isolating to the max..i understand how you feel .
then went into detox, a 28 day program and wanted to live so badly and stay clean and sober so i went to another treatment center for 3 1/2 months. In total 5 months. It saved my life.
I was introduced to AA.and took in tons of meetings..i learned alot about this disease..relapse prevention, i could go on.
i guess i jsut wanted to relate what worked for me. Keep coming back How. You're worth the fight, don't give up hope. \\// peace and love, Wendy
what Wantneeda and Phil said!
You have to take care of yourself...In time when you get better your husband will probably understand what you were talking about. If not you will be better to deal with it.
I had to take care of me no matter what and I couldn't worry about what others thought because I wanted to stop the insanity so I could live not just survive.
I am a loner and it wasn't easy at first to be around people but it does get easier and easier.
Get to meetings and do what you need to do and it will work out the way it's suppose to.
Keep venting and we will always be here for you and thanks for being truthful that is what will help you achieve sobriety.
God bless