Hi

I jsut wanted to share that in reading the BB everyday and everynight and inbetween I have been able to keep a perspective on my alcohol problem.  I must say that there are sometimes things in the book that would indicate that I do not have a problem and then i would turn the page and there I have it undeniable evidence that indicates I do have a problem and my life has become unmanageable when I am drinking.

One thing for me was a story about a lady who found AA and her turning point was when she made sense fo the fact that when she drank she was unhappy and when she controlled her drinking she was unhappy - that was the proof she needed that she had an alcoholic problem.

This is true for me too and I hope that with my Higher powers guidance I will be able to give it up permanently.  I really dont need it in my life - well I need it like I need a hole in my head.

Thanks for being here

Suzy

Hi Suzy, I'm so glad you are reading your Big Book.I was just like you ,parts of it I didn't idenify with at all, and then other parts would just leap off of the page.Just keep reading my friend, do you have a highlighter so you can mark those things that you relate to.

Yes , I drank to be happy and it never turned out that way. I was depressed no matter what. I was angry, no matter what I was doing , drinking or not.I had a poor me, I'm a victim, why did that have to happen to me attitude, and it all drove me to drink, I would be happy once I got enough vodka in me ,but it never happened that way . I was even more miserable.

Today, I can honestly say I can be in the midst of the raging storm and I can deal with it without the thought of a drink.I can be happy even when everyone around me is angry and drunk, I can live life on lifes terms. I can cry, without drinking, I can rejoice and celebrate without a drink. I can feel all my feeling, good and bad and not have to reach for that bottle. I thank my God every morning and night for keeping me sober.

Keep reading, you are on a one day at a time journey.I started mine over 20 years ago and I don't regret one minute of it.

I'm so glad you are here, keep coming back.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Hi Suzy,

Yeah, I always thought I was an episodic drinker, but the episodes kept getting closer and closer together. What someone once told me was that it's not how much you drink that makes you an alcoholic but what happens after you take that first drink that makes you alcoholic. I never knew if I was going to walk away after a drink or two or go on a week long binge. I'm really glad you are doing it, your life WILL change.

I don't know if your interested, but the step work page is getting ready to start Step 1 again. They post the step,and the literature pertaining to that step, then a new step every 2 wks. It's a good place to get others experience, strength and hope while working the steps. Step 1 will be posted on May 15th. Hope to see you there.

Love, cheri

Hi guys

Thanks for the backup.  I feel strong and not cocky.  I think that just for today I can do it. I know what is important to me and I know what I have to do to keep those important things in my life.  I will do anything to keep my life and my family together and this is really not the end of life but the beginning!

Thanks Cheri I will check out the Step work.

I have been so busy the last two days but I am online now.

Cheers

Suzy