I have had something on my mind now for awhile...i have a friend who keeps relapsing..we were very close...he actually stayed with me for awhile when out of treatment...we made a deal that if one of us used we were not to come home...he did and came home...i got over it somewhat and gave him one more chance...ya,...he did it again i kicked him out...thanking God all the way that it wasn't me and that i didn't go down with him...Well we remainded freinds he moved into an apartment and realpased here and there...then moved to his parents..out of the city so he was good there...now has moved back and well,,keeps phoning my place when he's using. My intention was to phone and tell him not to call me anymore...till he's had some substatial sobriety. Well when i mad the call i couldn't bring myself to say don't call at all.. I said don't call when your;'re using. Where is that boundary line?? Is it possible that severing that friendship could send him back permanently. Show that fellow love till he loves himself?
I guess alot of people right now don't want anything to do with him right now because of his actions. I don't want to be the one that breaks the camels back. MY sobriety must come first i know that..i guess thats why i'm asking this.
I'm very concerned that i'm going to be reading his name in the obits...i'm powerless over his recovery i know but where do I cross that line? Is telling him to not call at all the right thing? or did i handle it prop[erly by telling him not to call when hes' using?
Phil said
May 13, 2005
Hi Want--the only thing I could suggest on this one is to take in some Alanon meetings for yourself, and the answers you are looking for will likely be revealed to you.
In Alanon Ive learned about detatchment with love and boundaries, and its a daily never ending learning how to live program too. It sure helped this kid with a lot of stuff anyway.
All the best, and good luck with what you decide to do. We are not qualified to give advice on anything--but we do share our experience strength and hope, with each other
In Alanon they do the same. Hugs
GammyRose said
May 13, 2005
Wendy, I have to agree with Phil on this one. Al-anon has been a lifesaver for me when it comes to detachment and setting boundries.It is so hard to watch someone you care about heading down that slippery- slope again but you have to put you sobriety first.
Let go and let God , He will guide you. I will pray for your friend, don't give up on the miracle.
How is your legal deal going? Have you found anything out? How is your Mom?
hi all,
I have had something on my mind now for awhile...i have a friend who keeps relapsing..we were very close...he actually stayed with me for awhile when out of treatment...we made a deal that if one of us used we were not to come home...he did and came home...i got over it somewhat and gave him one more chance...ya,...he did it again i kicked him out...thanking God all the way that it wasn't me and that i didn't go down with him...Well we remainded freinds he moved into an apartment and realpased here and there...then moved to his parents..out of the city so he was good there...now has moved back and well,,keeps phoning my place when he's using. My intention was to phone and tell him not to call me anymore...till he's had some substatial sobriety. Well when i mad the call i couldn't bring myself to say don't call at all.. I said don't call when your;'re using. Where is that boundary line?? Is it possible that severing that friendship could send him back permanently. Show that fellow love till he loves himself?
I guess alot of people right now don't want anything to do with him right now because of his actions. I don't want to be the one that breaks the camels back. MY sobriety must come first i know that..i guess thats why i'm asking this.
I'm very concerned that i'm going to be reading his name in the obits...i'm powerless over his recovery i know but where do I cross that line? Is telling him to not call at all the right thing? or did i handle it prop[erly by telling him not to call when hes' using?
Hi Want--the only thing I could suggest on this one is to take in some Alanon meetings for yourself, and the answers you are looking for will likely be revealed to you.
In Alanon Ive learned about detatchment with love and boundaries, and its a daily never ending learning how to live program too. It sure helped this kid with a lot of stuff anyway.
All the best, and good luck with what you decide to do. We are not qualified to give advice on anything--but we do share our experience strength and hope, with each other
In Alanon they do the same. Hugs
Wendy, I have to agree with Phil on this one. Al-anon has been a lifesaver for me when it comes to detachment and setting boundries.It is so hard to watch someone you care about heading down that slippery- slope again but you have to put you sobriety first.
Let go and let God , He will guide you. I will pray for your friend, don't give up on the miracle.
How is your legal deal going? Have you found anything out? How is your Mom?
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose