What can you tell me about complacency? I've heard or read that the alcoholic (can not/must not?) rest on his laurels. My spouse is now at a 4 month anniversary. He talks the talk, but sometimes the tone in his voice says .... ..........(?) .... OK I've made it 4 months, I am very proud of me. Then 2 days later, I''ll just work, work, work, to avoid getting into my self-centered ness, because that's the worst place an alcoholic can be. [I guess i worry by the tone, he knows it's the truth, but resents that truth.] Activities have increased, meetings are drifting away. Any comment or anything I can read in the BIg Book? I read the Big Book this a.m. on Step 3, Step 4, and on resentment. I know I shouldn't let anything he says or not say throw me into a tailspin, but he's gotten comfy twice before, and went back to drinkin'.
SDFrankie said
May 11, 2005
Heaven knows I don't know much, but what I think is that you have to let him go. You can be a walking example of the Big Book but you can't preach it to him. Everybody says you can only carry the message. I guess it'll work out one way or the other and either way YOU need to stay sober.
Phil said
May 11, 2005
Hi Sal.
All I can share is from experience, and that is--When I quit going to my AA and Alanon meetings, my thinking will change, slowly going back to negative crap and I will revert to old parrerns, and old ways of acting and reacting.
Sooner or later insanity with people, places and things will really affect everything in my life.
Ive done it. And it lead to emotional bottoms eventually.
But-its the old story. We cant do it for someone else.
The Family afterward chapter, in the big book is always a good one to read through.
Theres also a lot of good stuff in courage to change, and ODAT books about detatchment etc.
Heaven knows I don't know much, but what I think is that you have to let him go. You can be a walking example of the Big Book but you can't preach it to him. Everybody says you can only carry the message. I guess it'll work out one way or the other and either way YOU need to stay sober.
Hi Sal.
All I can share is from experience, and that is--When I quit going to my AA and Alanon meetings, my thinking will change, slowly going back to negative crap and I will revert to old parrerns, and old ways of acting and reacting.
Sooner or later insanity with people, places and things will really affect everything in my life.
Ive done it. And it lead to emotional bottoms eventually.
But-its the old story. We cant do it for someone else.
The Family afterward chapter, in the big book is always a good one to read through.
Theres also a lot of good stuff in courage to change, and ODAT books about detatchment etc.