I'm not really getting it. I asked this woman to be my sponsor, but she hasn't called me or anything..she seemed really supportive and interested in me at first,so i asked her to help me, but I haven't even heard from her. I gave her my phone number..it was last week...How does it work? Am i supposed to call her, or what?I feel really ready to start doing the work,you know? I feel like she isn't the one for me..there's this other woman that I have a real affinity for, similar energy and sense of humor as me, etc..I would rather have her as a sponsor. Is it acceptable to change sponsors, and if so, how would I go about it without hurting the first sponsor's feelings?arrggh!!! HELP,you guys!!!
cheri said
May 2, 2005
Hi,
When I sponsor someone, I give them my phone number and tell them to call me everyday. I also give them a reading assignment first thing. Perhaps the first women is waiting for you to reach out to her? I normally don't "chase" my sponsees, when they are ready to start working the steps they tell me.
Is it acceptable to change sponsors? It is, but I would suggest you talk with the other woman first and let her know. You may decide that you don't want to change, and that's ok too. Let the first one know that you are ready to start working the steps and go from there.
Hope you have a great day,
Love, cheri
GammyRose said
May 2, 2005
Crambo,
I agree with Cheri, I also expect those I sponsor to call me. I do check on them after we have established a realtionship. Did this lady give you her phone number, if she did call her. If not next time you see her ask her how she wants to work on your program, if it doesn't involve working the steps right away, then I would move on to another sponsor.
Just be honest with her and tell her you are ready to get serious. You are doing the right thing, hang in there ,and let time take time.
Have a great sober day !
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
crambo said
May 2, 2005
That makes sense. After all, I'm the one wanting help, so I guess it's up to me to reach out. I'll call her. Thanks,you guys.
Rick said
May 3, 2005
Crambo
Glad you agree with Cheri and Gammy.
We had a meeting on the hand of AA. Lots of newcomers that seem to think the hand of AA isn't there. It's there ok. You gotta want it and reach for it yourself. A friend of mine has a ton of people who call him all hours of the day. They may need help with things ( non program things) a ride, a lawnmower fixed, furniture moved etc. Other people don't cater to them. They come to meetings late, if they come. They leave early, have to go out for a smoke for 15 min in the middle etc. They have these rights-- but they don't seem to stay sober. I was told go early, stay late, take the cotton out of my ears put it in my mouth, get a sponsor. My sponsor and I decided to be good friends and not say he is my sponsor. The funny part We both felt the same way and it just kinda happened. I won't go into details but it worked out great. Tell her how you really feel and go from there. Maybe just a misunderstanding. Be honest, be humble ask for help it only hurts a minute.
Good luck It's worth it.
crambo said
May 3, 2005
hmmm..good idea. I am doing the 90 meetings in 90 days thing, trying to absorb a bunch of stuff before I start asking questions, I want to have some idea about the whole program before I start the steps,that's just who I am, I like to gather information before I start things. I am reading my big book every day, and go to a big book study on fridays. I am thinking that I will call my sponsor next week, it feels like I will have enough meetings under my belt, and would have asked enough questions and gotten comfortable with the whole thing by then. I like going to these meetings,sometimes twice a day...The constant repetition of the 12 promises,how it works,etc,is starting to sink in!!! I think I'll be ready to start the work very soon. Like my friend with 17 years in says..."You have your whole life,Jill, take it at your own pace..." I always rush things, but this time,i'm going to trust my intuition, because not trusting my intuition is part of the reason i'm an alcoholic in the first place!!
I'm not really getting it. I asked this woman to be my sponsor, but she hasn't called me or anything..she seemed really supportive and interested in me at first,so i asked her to help me, but I haven't even heard from her. I gave her my phone number..it was last week...How does it work? Am i supposed to call her, or what?I feel really ready to start doing the work,you know? I feel like she isn't the one for me..there's this other woman that I have a real affinity for, similar energy and sense of humor as me, etc..I would rather have her as a sponsor. Is it acceptable to change sponsors, and if so, how would I go about it without hurting the first sponsor's feelings?arrggh!!! HELP,you guys!!!
Hi,
When I sponsor someone, I give them my phone number and tell them to call me everyday. I also give them a reading assignment first thing. Perhaps the first women is waiting for you to reach out to her? I normally don't "chase" my sponsees, when they are ready to start working the steps they tell me.
Is it acceptable to change sponsors? It is, but I would suggest you talk with the other woman first and let her know. You may decide that you don't want to change, and that's ok too. Let the first one know that you are ready to start working the steps and go from there.
Hope you have a great day,
Love, cheri
Crambo,
I agree with Cheri, I also expect those I sponsor to call me. I do check on them after we have established a realtionship. Did this lady give you her phone number, if she did call her. If not next time you see her ask her how she wants to work on your program, if it doesn't involve working the steps right away, then I would move on to another sponsor.
Just be honest with her and tell her you are ready to get serious. You are doing the right thing, hang in there ,and let time take time.
Have a great sober day !
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
Crambo
Glad you agree with Cheri and Gammy.
We had a meeting on the hand of AA. Lots of newcomers that seem to think the hand of AA isn't there. It's there ok. You gotta want it and reach for it yourself. A friend of mine has a ton of people who call him all hours of the day. They may need help with things ( non program things) a ride, a lawnmower fixed, furniture moved etc. Other people don't cater to them. They come to meetings late, if they come. They leave early, have to go out for a smoke for 15 min in the middle etc. They have these rights-- but they don't seem to stay sober. I was told go early, stay late, take the cotton out of my ears put it in my mouth, get a sponsor. My sponsor and I decided to be good friends and not say he is my sponsor. The funny part We both felt the same way and it just kinda happened. I won't go into details but it worked out great. Tell her how you really feel and go from there. Maybe just a misunderstanding. Be honest, be humble ask for help it only hurts a minute.
Good luck It's worth it.
hmmm..good idea. I am doing the 90 meetings in 90 days thing, trying to absorb a bunch of stuff before I start asking questions, I want to have some idea about the whole program before I start the steps,that's just who I am, I like to gather information before I start things. I am reading my big book every day, and go to a big book study on fridays. I am thinking that I will call my sponsor next week, it feels like I will have enough meetings under my belt, and would have asked enough questions and gotten comfortable with the whole thing by then. I like going to these meetings,sometimes twice a day...The constant repetition of the 12 promises,how it works,etc,is starting to sink in!!! I think I'll be ready to start the work very soon. Like my friend with 17 years in says..."You have your whole life,Jill, take it at your own pace..." I always rush things, but this time,i'm going to trust my intuition, because not trusting my intuition is part of the reason i'm an alcoholic in the first place!!
thanks for your input,guys!