I have been sober 3 days now. I am upset about the fact that I am not happy all the time. I mean I am miserable a lot of the time, in spite of the fact that I feel physically better than when I was drinking and I am very glad that I have stopped . I want to be acstatic but I feel so low sometimes like I jsut dont even want to talk to anyone. Is there an easy explanation for this and any solution. I hate being a miserable 31 year old mother and wife.
I must also add that reading the beautifull stories on this site does give me pleasure and tears sometimes but it is great because it lets me know I am alive. Thank you all
Suzy
miller said
Apr 29, 2005
Hi Suzy, and welcome. :)
Congradulations on your three days. Im rather new in the program so I really might not have alot of insight, except to say this. Your not alone. It takes a long time to get as sick as we are, and recovery doesnt come overnight. It will take some time, but comming here and going to an AA meeting will make it easier. Every day will be better than the day before, and believe me, the hurtting will subside. It does pass.
ellen said
Apr 29, 2005
Hey Girl
Considering that it's been three days I think that you have that. It takes along while to feel better about anything, alot of feelings are all bundled up at least that was the way it was for me. If sobriety was that easy we would not have AA. Yes it is a simple program but it was never called easy.
In the begining you can't take your feelings too seriously. I mean that in some ways you go through a mourning period about losing a thing that you believe made reality easier. In time and it takes time things do get less intense and you are able to step back and not feel so overwhelmed and/or miserable.
You really need to take the first 90 days as simple as possible...go to meetings , don't pick-up, and get a sponsor. A sponsor is so importiant because they are a good sounding board to cut through the feelings and bring you back to simpler terms of thinking.
I can get so wound up because I can blow anything up and make things worse by my best thinking. Outside of just the action of taking a drink I have a profound thinking problem. All alcoholics do. and they (feelings) certianly arent reliable in early sobriety--hense don't take yourself too seriously.
KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! and Miller is right it does get easier. If you surrender to the program it gets better sooner than you think. God bless and know that most of us started out the same way you are. Bring it up as a topic in a meeting and you will see what I mean. Actually you should so you don't feel so alone. Let them get to know you and let them tell you it gets better...that way you won't be so caught up in these feelings. that is what meetings are all about.
hope this helps...
-- Edited by ellen at 07:28, 2005-04-29
-- Edited by ellen at 07:29, 2005-04-29
GammyRose said
Apr 29, 2005
Suzy , I agree with everything Miller and Ellen have said. It takes time for your mind and body to get over the effects of alcohol. I'm sure you are going through some withdrawal symptoms and it's not eazy.
Good for you.Three days sober was a miracle in my life and it is in yours too.Keep it simple,don't drink, talk about how you are feeling, post,post, post and I know you said it would be hard for you to get to a face to face meeting, but it would be so benifical if you could.How old are your little ones? Is your husband back from his trip? Would he babysit ,so you could go to meetings?
Breathe in, breathe out, cry if you need to, laugh , write all those feelings you are having here and maybe in a journal, that was an important part of my early recovery, journaling.Remember we are here for you ,you are in my prayers.
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
cheri said
Apr 29, 2005
...Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true fron the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontent, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks---drinks which they see others taking witih impunity.
Big Book(drs. opinion)pp xxvii-xxix
It sounds as if this may be what you are experiencing--not neccessarily physical withdrawals but mental ones. Do you have anyone that you can call and talk to when the feelings of misery or depression start to kick in? Preferably someone in AA, but if you haven't made contact with AA yet, a sister, best friend, anyone?
For me, when I was able to talk through some of it, it seemed to ease and then I didn't feel the need to drink, which is what I would have done before.
Three days is a miracle...Be proud of yourself!
Love, cheri
SDFrankie said
Apr 29, 2005
Wow. I wrote a really long post about this and when I hit Preview Post my browser barfed and I lost the whole thing. Bummer.
I suggest going to meetings. It's a pain in the butt to leave the family and go, but I know that's the only thing that has ever kept me sober: action. I'm facing much of the same things you're facing right now. AA scares the shit out of me. The meetings, asking some guy to sponsor me, calling that guy, doing the steps, more meetings. But if I don't do it, I WILL drink again and I WILL lose my family anyway. I've pretty much run out of options. I've made 6 meetings in the last 7 days. I called some guy this morning and asked him to sponsor me. It's just one big ball of fear right now. But I'm just closing my eyes and walking forward. I really have nothing to lose. On my own, I'll drink. The only way to change is to change.
I hope you'll go to a meeting. And I hope you don't drink, no matter what.
Frank
Suzy said
Apr 29, 2005
Thanks for all the suppport
Gammy my kids are younger than 6 and my hubby would babysit if I told him I was serious and needed the program to stay sober. I am scared he might say that I should be able to lean on him to get through this but I will jsut calmly explain that I need other Alkies to understand me. He is away again tonight but I will maybe ask my maid. It is tough finding meetings here - I dont want to say where again. Anyway - I am sure I am going to be OK./ I am jsut so sick and tired of being tired and lethargic during the day. I thik maybe I will go have a run on the beach. I think I might have some kind of depression- It only hits in the middle of the day usually and then I dont want to laugh with the kids or talk to anyone or go out. If I do I get snappy and sensitive and I think that people are laughing at me behind my back. I mean who can blame them I do have two heads. lol
Sorry I am trying to work the program and I think it is time for me to follow the steps more closely or at least to study them. I will check out the step work board.
Thanks again
you are all a great help to so many people who come here in recovery.
I have been sober 3 days now. I am upset about the fact that I am not happy all the time. I mean I am miserable a lot of the time, in spite of the fact that I feel physically better than when I was drinking and I am very glad that I have stopped . I want to be acstatic but I feel so low sometimes like I jsut dont even want to talk to anyone. Is there an easy explanation for this and any solution. I hate being a miserable 31 year old mother and wife.
I must also add that reading the beautifull stories on this site does give me pleasure and tears sometimes but it is great because it lets me know I am alive. Thank you all
Suzy
Hi Suzy, and welcome. :)
Congradulations on your three days. Im rather new in the program so I really might not have alot of insight, except to say this. Your not alone. It takes a long time to get as sick as we are, and recovery doesnt come overnight. It will take some time, but comming here and going to an AA meeting will make it easier. Every day will be better than the day before, and believe me, the hurtting will subside. It does pass.
Hey Girl
Considering that it's been three days I think that you have that. It takes along while to feel better about anything, alot of feelings are all bundled up at least that was the way it was for me. If sobriety was that easy we would not have AA. Yes it is a simple program but it was never called easy.
In the begining you can't take your feelings too seriously. I mean that in some ways you go through a mourning period about losing a thing that you believe made reality easier. In time and it takes time things do get less intense and you are able to step back and not feel so overwhelmed and/or miserable.
You really need to take the first 90 days as simple as possible...go to meetings , don't pick-up, and get a sponsor. A sponsor is so importiant because they are a good sounding board to cut through the feelings and bring you back to simpler terms of thinking.
I can get so wound up because I can blow anything up and make things worse by my best thinking. Outside of just the action of taking a drink I have a profound thinking problem. All alcoholics do. and they (feelings) certianly arent reliable in early sobriety--hense don't take yourself too seriously.
KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! and Miller is right it does get easier. If you surrender to the program it gets better sooner than you think. God bless and know that most of us started out the same way you are. Bring it up as a topic in a meeting and you will see what I mean. Actually you should so you don't feel so alone. Let them get to know you and let them tell you it gets better...that way you won't be so caught up in these feelings. that is what meetings are all about.
hope this helps...
-- Edited by ellen at 07:28, 2005-04-29
-- Edited by ellen at 07:29, 2005-04-29
Suzy , I agree with everything Miller and Ellen have said. It takes time for your mind and body to get over the effects of alcohol. I'm sure you are going through some withdrawal symptoms and it's not eazy.
Good for you.Three days sober was a miracle in my life and it is in yours too.Keep it simple,don't drink, talk about how you are feeling, post,post, post and I know you said it would be hard for you to get to a face to face meeting, but it would be so benifical if you could.How old are your little ones? Is your husband back from his trip? Would he babysit ,so you could go to meetings?
Breathe in, breathe out, cry if you need to, laugh , write all those feelings you are having here and maybe in a journal, that was an important part of my early recovery, journaling.Remember we are here for you ,you are in my prayers.
(((Hugs)))
GammyRose
...Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true fron the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontent, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks---drinks which they see others taking witih impunity.
Big Book(drs. opinion)pp xxvii-xxix
It sounds as if this may be what you are experiencing--not neccessarily physical withdrawals but mental ones. Do you have anyone that you can call and talk to when the feelings of misery or depression start to kick in? Preferably someone in AA, but if you haven't made contact with AA yet, a sister, best friend, anyone?
For me, when I was able to talk through some of it, it seemed to ease and then I didn't feel the need to drink, which is what I would have done before.
Three days is a miracle...Be proud of yourself!
Love, cheri
Wow. I wrote a really long post about this and when I hit Preview Post my browser barfed and I lost the whole thing. Bummer.
I suggest going to meetings. It's a pain in the butt to leave the family and go, but I know that's the only thing that has ever kept me sober: action. I'm facing much of the same things you're facing right now. AA scares the shit out of me. The meetings, asking some guy to sponsor me, calling that guy, doing the steps, more meetings. But if I don't do it, I WILL drink again and I WILL lose my family anyway. I've pretty much run out of options. I've made 6 meetings in the last 7 days. I called some guy this morning and asked him to sponsor me. It's just one big ball of fear right now. But I'm just closing my eyes and walking forward. I really have nothing to lose. On my own, I'll drink. The only way to change is to change.
I hope you'll go to a meeting. And I hope you don't drink, no matter what.
Frank
Thanks for all the suppport
Gammy my kids are younger than 6 and my hubby would babysit if I told him I was serious and needed the program to stay sober. I am scared he might say that I should be able to lean on him to get through this but I will jsut calmly explain that I need other Alkies to understand me. He is away again tonight but I will maybe ask my maid. It is tough finding meetings here - I dont want to say where again. Anyway - I am sure I am going to be OK./ I am jsut so sick and tired of being tired and lethargic during the day. I thik maybe I will go have a run on the beach. I think I might have some kind of depression- It only hits in the middle of the day usually and then I dont want to laugh with the kids or talk to anyone or go out. If I do I get snappy and sensitive and I think that people are laughing at me behind my back. I mean who can blame them I do have two heads. lol
Sorry I am trying to work the program and I think it is time for me to follow the steps more closely or at least to study them. I will check out the step work board.
Thanks again
you are all a great help to so many people who come here in recovery.
Suzy