Hi All,
I had some interesting writings yesterday back and fourth with a friend about PEOPLE PLEASING.
We might all have a different view of this, but for me, even before recovery or drinking for that matter, I learned that people pleasing was the way to get around in this world.
And as I grew up, mastered that skill. But the problem with People Pleasing, for me was and certainly is today, a way of short changing yourself. Like smiling when you feel like frowning, or are in disagreement with what is going on.
This is something I have worked very hard at overcoming, and today feel I simply do not do any people pleasing.
Have a close relationship to my Higher Power, that I choose to call GOD, and find that it is a skill that simply is no longer required. That truly awesome discovery of this being GOD's world, and not how I preceive it, has changed everything in my life, with nothing left out, well there are little moments when I can start worrying and it might take a day to catch myself and almost laugh at the worry. Somewhere on this Board as I was reading, someone was writing about the emotion of worry and said , "worry is wasting imagination" very good description. Also at times what can stop the worry almost in a heartbeat, is the acknowledgment in my heart and mind that it is, what it is.
Grateful today, and just throwing out some thoughts,and hope that is has been pertinent to this Board.
Hope all have a great day.
Toni
Jerry F said
Apr 29, 2009
Aloha Toni!!
Your post brings back memories of this journey of recovery. It raises again for me the filters of motives and unconditional love. Why I do what I do is always up front for me, "What are my attitudes...what are my motives ." Unconditional love is doing what I want to be done to and for me. Being loved unconditionally is "pleasing" and I can read it on the faces and body language of others when the loving thing I do also pleases them. Along the way I learned that unconditional love must be a choice. What happened after a long period of practicing that choice was that the choice became a character. Today I allow others the opportunity to choose if they want to feel pleased or not (attitude) for what ever reason (motive) regardless of whether I am involved or not. Its all spiritual.
(((((hugs)))))
Tina said
May 2, 2009
Hi Toni
I just want to say I can relate to your post, and ur rite everyones views are different.
Just to share alittle, from experience. when I was growing I always thought it and felt that to get anywhere was to please others. It wasn't until early in my sobriety after I almost lost everything including my self worth that I realized that I wasn't happy with who I was. And that it wasn't always the right to do was people pleasing I was insecure with myself.
Jerry mentioned unconditional love well that goes without saying, One persons heart has to be in the right place and motives are a part of that. I to am close to my higher power and first and for most I have work hard to give myself the uncondional love before I could give that to someone else.
Just my opinion, thanks for sharing and allowing my share
Tina
kkotz401 said
May 2, 2009
This post caught my attention. I have a hard time saying no to people sometimes. It can get frustrating. Sometimes I think I need to learn to stand up for myself and that it is ok to say no.
Alianse88 said
November 27th
Ich hatte gerade eine lange TodoListe abgearbeitet und fühlte mich ausgelaugt. Zur Belohnung gönnte ich mir eine Pause und surfte ohne Ziel durchs Internet. Dabei landete ich auf spinogambino.com.de . Neugierig begann ich ein Spiel mit kleinem Einsatz. Es lief nicht spektakulär aber solide genug, dass ich kurz auf ein gutes Ergebnis hoffen konnte. Für einen kurzen Augenblick war der Kopf leer, und das hatte etwas Entspannendes an sich.
dinarikas said
December 20th
Hallo! Gestern habe ich beschlossen, vegashero während meiner Arbeitspause auszuprobieren. Meine Kollegen waren überrascht, als ich im Büro lachte, aber es hat Spaß gemacht! Die Website ist einfach, farbenfroh und die Slots sind spannend. Der Nervenkitzel und der Spaß waren wie in einem echten Casino, nur ohne den ganzen Trubel. VegasHero ist eine großartige Idee für kurze Unterhaltungsmomente.
-- Edited by dinarikas on Saturday 20th of December 2025 11:00:08 AM
dinarikas said
December 22nd
Hallo! Am Wochenende wollte ich mich ein wenig unterhalten und habe ein Spiel gestartet, bei dem ich nach ein paar Runden auf chicken road game gestoßen bin. Ich habe ein paar minimale Einsätze gemacht, einmal einen Bonus gewonnen die Emotionen waren groß, aber ich habe sofort aufgehört. Das Spiel ist dynamisch, die Runden sind kurz und die Grafik ist lustig. Chicken Road eignet sich hervorragend für eine lockere Unterhaltung, wichtig ist nur, die Einsätze und Emotionen zu kontrollieren.
-- Edited by dinarikas on Monday 22nd of December 2025 07:24:45 PM
Aloha Toni!!
Your post brings back memories of this journey of recovery. It raises again for
me the filters of motives and unconditional love. Why I do what I do is always
up front for me, "What are my attitudes...what are my motives ." Unconditional
love is doing what I want to be done to and for me. Being loved unconditionally
is "pleasing" and I can read it on the faces and body language of others when
the loving thing I do also pleases them. Along the way I learned that unconditional
love must be a choice. What happened after a long period of practicing that choice
was that the choice became a character. Today I allow others the opportunity
to choose if they want to feel pleased or not (attitude) for what ever reason
(motive) regardless of whether I am involved or not. Its all spiritual.
(((((hugs)))))
Hi Toni
I just want to say I can relate to your post, and ur rite everyones views are different.
Just to share alittle, from experience.
when I was growing I always thought it and felt that to get anywhere was to please others. It wasn't until early in my sobriety after I almost lost everything including my self worth that I realized that I wasn't happy with who I was. And that it wasn't always the right to do was people pleasing I was insecure with myself.
Jerry mentioned unconditional love well that goes without saying, One persons heart has to be in the right place and motives are a part of that. I to am close to my higher power and first and for most I have work hard to give myself the uncondional love before I could give that to someone else.
Just my opinion, thanks for sharing and allowing my share
Tina
Hallo! Gestern habe ich beschlossen, vegashero während meiner Arbeitspause auszuprobieren. Meine Kollegen waren überrascht, als ich im Büro lachte, aber es hat Spaß gemacht! Die Website ist einfach, farbenfroh und die Slots sind spannend. Der Nervenkitzel und der Spaß waren wie in einem echten Casino, nur ohne den ganzen Trubel. VegasHero ist eine großartige Idee für kurze Unterhaltungsmomente.
-- Edited by dinarikas on Saturday 20th of December 2025 11:00:08 AM
Hallo! Am Wochenende wollte ich mich ein wenig unterhalten und habe ein Spiel gestartet, bei dem ich nach ein paar Runden auf chicken road game gestoßen bin. Ich habe ein paar minimale Einsätze gemacht, einmal einen Bonus gewonnen die Emotionen waren groß, aber ich habe sofort aufgehört. Das Spiel ist dynamisch, die Runden sind kurz und die Grafik ist lustig. Chicken Road eignet sich hervorragend für eine lockere Unterhaltung, wichtig ist nur, die Einsätze und Emotionen zu kontrollieren.
-- Edited by dinarikas on Monday 22nd of December 2025 07:24:45 PM