i spent 5 months in treatment and while there i completed step 5...my step 4 was a series of 247 questions...yukky...i did my step 5 with a female priest who had never done a step 5 before...so i'm not really sure if my step 5 was all that it could have been...needless to say i've been on 6-7 since november and am scared to move on if i haven't done all that i'm capable of in 6-7 today..i've heard that 6-7 are the most important steps..to me they are all important, but fear that if i don't do them completely that i wll fall, this has kept me stuck. I've read everything i can get my hands on and still just don't know what to do here.
I have a list of character defects i found on the net...like 30 or so,,and really i can identify with most all of them, but now that i'm not drinking alot of them aren't present..i know i must work on myself as i am today and not what i used to be but...confused. Would aprreciate your comments and how those steps went for you..thanks
ellen said
Apr 19, 2005
well after doing things my way with my way of thinking and being all up in my feelings and reactions for all of my life, and making a mess of this life by doing so. I was finally happy i realized what it was that got me here, that i saw the 6&7th step as empowering.
I knew what made me tick and now i had goals, wether small or large, to make me a better person. to function in the world around me and to never be a slave to my emotions again. I began to live sober and to be responsible for my side of the street.
there is no failing it is all about progress not perfection, If you are serious about sobriety than you have nothing to fear. as long as you make an honest effort to try everyday to do better than the day before and having a higher power in your life you should fear nothing. It is all a process and a daily one.
If you feel that you need to make a list of all the people you have harmed etc. it's the "become willing" part that is the action of the step to realize that I know I am human I think others are too, maybe I need to look at that and start saying sorry to these people for we all make mistakes.
i hurt people when they hurt me and i just could not see that i reacted to everything and at anyone who hurt me- until the first 7 steps. now I had to say to myself that I screwed up why couldn't they and I am sorry about my part of it.
All it is, is a list ..9 is where you find out when it is that you actually make that amends, because we don't want to make anything worse just better and to know the difference.
So if you are ready to see your part and make amends to these people than you are probably ready to make that list.
-- Edited by ellen at 13:09, 2005-04-19
cheri said
Apr 19, 2005
Hi Wendy,
My sponsor tells me if I'm stuck on a step, I need to go back to the previous one and work it some more. It sounds like you've been doing that by trying to find character defects,etc..The thing about 6-7 for me is that while I may be ready to have my defects removed, God may not remove them right away. It becomes a living process for me, and one that I will continue to work on for life. When my temper flares up and I yell at my kids, I can now recognize that I am in the wrong, and then I must try to correct that wrong.
So relax. You are doing 6-7 everyday that you see something in yourself and work to correct it.You don't have to get EVERYTHING removed at once, cuz if you did, you might graduate from AA and then where would we be?
Love ya, cheri
amanda2u2 said
Apr 19, 2005
I don't think we ever reach a point where we have done any one step completely. I know some other people who feel like they have to do Step 2 completely in order to do Step 3. I think I spent a couple of weeks on each Step the first time I did them,,, and did the best I could at that point in my life. I cycle through the Steps periodically still,,,, and find that my understanding deepens and broadens every time,,, it's amazing really. I thught it was pretty amazing the first time, and I keep getting more and more amazed each time. I was also looking for perfection the first time,,, or if not perfection then at least something humanly satisfactory,,, and then planned to finish within a year,, or two at the most,, and then would 'graduate'. Here I am 16 years later,,, still learning and growing. I see both that I have come much further along than I ever thought of,,, and also that there is sooo much further that I need to go.
I wanna thank the two previous posters for their shares too, cuz they gave me even more understanding, and some is what I would also say and so won't repeat.
i spent 5 months in treatment and while there i completed step 5...my step 4 was a series of 247 questions...yukky...i did my step 5 with a female priest who had never done a step 5 before...so i'm not really sure if my step 5 was all that it could have been...needless to say i've been on 6-7 since november and am scared to move on if i haven't done all that i'm capable of in 6-7 today..i've heard that 6-7 are the most important steps..to me they are all important, but fear that if i don't do them completely that i wll fall, this has kept me stuck. I've read everything i can get my hands on and still just don't know what to do here.
I have a list of character defects i found on the net...like 30 or so,,and really i can identify with most all of them, but now that i'm not drinking alot of them aren't present..i know i must work on myself as i am today and not what i used to be but...confused. Would aprreciate your comments and how those steps went for you..thanks
well after doing things my way with my way of thinking and being all up in my feelings and reactions for all of my life, and making a mess of this life by doing so. I was finally happy i realized what it was that got me here, that i saw the 6&7th step as empowering.
I knew what made me tick and now i had goals, wether small or large, to make me a better person. to function in the world around me and to never be a slave to my emotions again. I began to live sober and to be responsible for my side of the street.
there is no failing it is all about progress not perfection, If you are serious about sobriety than you have nothing to fear. as long as you make an honest effort to try everyday to do better than the day before and having a higher power in your life you should fear nothing. It is all a process and a daily one.
If you feel that you need to make a list of all the people you have harmed etc. it's the "become willing" part that is the action of the step to realize that I know I am human I think others are too, maybe I need to look at that and start saying sorry to these people for we all make mistakes.
i hurt people when they hurt me and i just could not see that i reacted to everything and at anyone who hurt me- until the first 7 steps. now I had to say to myself that I screwed up why couldn't they and I am sorry about my part of it.
All it is, is a list ..9 is where you find out when it is that you actually make that amends, because we don't want to make anything worse just better and to know the difference.
So if you are ready to see your part and make amends to these people than you are probably ready to make that list.
-- Edited by ellen at 13:09, 2005-04-19
Hi Wendy,
My sponsor tells me if I'm stuck on a step, I need to go back to the previous one and work it some more. It sounds like you've been doing that by trying to find character defects,etc..The thing about 6-7 for me is that while I may be ready to have my defects removed, God may not remove them right away. It becomes a living process for me, and one that I will continue to work on for life. When my temper flares up and I yell at my kids, I can now recognize that I am in the wrong, and then I must try to correct that wrong.
So relax. You are doing 6-7 everyday that you see something in yourself and work to correct it.You don't have to get EVERYTHING removed at once, cuz if you did, you might graduate from AA and then where would we be?
Love ya, cheri
I don't think we ever reach a point where we have done any one step completely. I know some other people who feel like they have to do Step 2 completely in order to do Step 3. I think I spent a couple of weeks on each Step the first time I did them,,, and did the best I could at that point in my life. I cycle through the Steps periodically still,,,, and find that my understanding deepens and broadens every time,,, it's amazing really. I thught it was pretty amazing the first time, and I keep getting more and more amazed each time. I was also looking for perfection the first time,,, or if not perfection then at least something humanly satisfactory,,, and then planned to finish within a year,, or two at the most,, and then would 'graduate'. Here I am 16 years later,,, still learning and growing. I see both that I have come much further along than I ever thought of,,, and also that there is sooo much further that I need to go.
I wanna thank the two previous posters for their shares too, cuz they gave me even more understanding, and some is what I would also say and so won't repeat.
keep coming,
love in recovery,
amanda