He said in reply to a previous post that your friends will not tire of you being "not drunk". Wrong. My mates were tired of me being sober.

Yes..that is a good point.

I hadn't got sober when I started complaining about how hard it was to stop drinking when all my mates were drinkers...My Grandad said something that stayed with me and made sense when I finally did make the decision to dry out. He said:

There's a big difference between mates and associates. You'll find your associates are the one you hang out with at the pub.

When he first said it, I just thought "Oh, he must be wrong, cos they are my mates, they're all I got"...

I knew no different. I'd had no experience of the difference, because all my interactions had been drink related.

Once I got sober, I was shown mateship. I came to know fellowship and friendship. It was extended to me by fellow members and even though I still carried on like a selfish drunk for a while (and still do sometimes), they saw me through it and never turned away. They didn't just listen when I said I wanted to change things, they helped me change them...in all areas.

Having experienced that, I now understand the wisdom my Grandad was sharing. There is a difference Stan....it's not in whether we are drunk or not, it's in whether folks are really mates to start with.

Those mates that got sick of you sober, will probably get sick of you drunk as well.

Me.. Phil..the whole crew here.. And any other AA who has come to know fellowship will still be here encouraging and laughing with you, no matter how you lob in. Am sure you, and I, and everyone gets annoying at times...but you can trust one thing. An AA won't turn their back on another AA, and if they do...then guess what mate?..They were never an AA to start with.

Mates.

Just the way it works.

-- Edited by Nic at 03:06, 2005-04-12

well,  do you know what it was about you that they got tired of? It wasn't that you were sober,,, it was what you did and didn't do and say while you were sober. And what is it about when you are drunk that they find more tolerable than those negatives behaviors that you get into when you are sober?   After considereing these two questions,, think about whether the behaviors that they didn't like are absolutely necessary when you are sober,,, or whether they actually constitute what we call 'dry drunks' and are not really sobriety at all,,,  but alcoholic behavior without the alcohol.

amanda

Drinking buddies and mates?

The only thing we ever had in common was booze.

Take the booze away, we were all strangers.

Nice to have freinds today, where we all share a common bond.

True freinds, where we can be vulnerable with each other, and honest, and not hafta wear masks, or impress anyone.

You have a great day mate.  There is a life after the death of King Alcohol. Just takes a program to learn how to live it. :)   Keep smilin Buddy!!

Wow Amanda you have really let the cat out of the bag. You sound so evil and malevolent. The worst thing is I am sure you mean it, too. My friends all said pretty much the same thing: to drink is to be normal, to drink is to be acceptable to society, to drink is to fit in. How many friends did I make in AA? I bought a lot of coffees and chatted a lot of hours, yet how many have popped by to see how I am? Answer = None.

i jsut gotta say stancamden...i've just read a couple of your reply's and have yet to read a positive thing from u?????