I don't really know exactly what to do...most of the time I don't feel like I have an alcohol problem..of course i'm sober when I decide these things. I'm not someone who drinks everyday but I'm becoming increasingly worried about what happens when I do drink. I swore to myself a few months ago I'd only drink once a week or less...I still find myself at the bar around four times a week, sometimes drinking at home other nights when I know I don't have early classes. I usually get to the bar around 9 at night but I never leave until about 8 am. (yea bars close here at 4 but thats to the public. i sorta work at one and of course i'm a regular so they let me stay until its time for the bartenders to go home) I've been told that its impossible for someone my size to consume the amount of alcohol I have each night and I wish that was true. I'm only 20 years old and an average size girl. It used to be that I could drink and recall the night's events. Now I find myself waking up wondering what the hell happened the night before. The last time I didn't black out was in September. Within the last few months I broke my tailbone when I fell down a flight of stairs and sprained my knee soon after. My bf broke up with me because he said he couldn't handle me anymore..lately I can barely handle myself. I get phone calls the days after I get drunk with aweful stories of things I did the night before. The guilt and humiliation I've been feeling make me sick to my stomach because if I can't even forgive myself I know my friends can't. They're sick of me pulling stupid stunts when I'm drunk and then having to tell them I don't recall any of it and the problem is a lot of the time it gets them in trouble as well. I feel like I'm losing control of my life a little more each day. I can barely go to my classes half the time because i'm too hung over to get out of bed. I'm already on academic probation because I didn't do my work last semester (in my head drinking seemed like a better idea) and I'm terrified what will happen if I don't get my act together. Recently I was pulled over by a cop when I was drunk and he sent me on my way. I felt fortunate at the time but when I sobered up I just felt aweful. Growing up I had such strong morals. Drunk driving killed a high school friend of mine and I was always the girl who stayed sober at parties and drove all the drunk kids home. Before I started drinking more heavily I had slept with one person and I had hoped that was who I'd be with forever. Now I've heard (but can't remember and if I do it's a fuzzy memory) that I've had numerous one night stands and that goes against everything I believe. I don't recognize who I am anymore and it scares me. I just would really appreciate some sort of advice from anyone because I'm sure my situation is not half as bad as most who come here but I know that if I don't stop now it's going to be worse soon and I'm going to end up in worse trouble than I'm already in.

Hi Allison...

My name is Cheri and I'm am alcoholic. I drank for about 22 yrs before I got sober 4 yrs ago. I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not, only you can decide that. If you would like some information on alcoholism you should get the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and read the Drs. opinion and the first 3 chapters of the book. It describes the symptoms of alcoholism and the people it effects. You can get a big book by calling the local AA in your community,should be listed in the phone book, going to an open meeting of AA, or the library. I believe it is also online somewhere.

I want to tell you that you are not alone. There are alot of people out there(on this board and in your community) that will help you. If you want to stop drinking, we will tell you how we did it. As I was reading your post, my heart went out to you. Please keep posting if you have any questions or if you just need to reach out to someone.

We love you...

Cheri 

Hi Allison. Yup. Cheri said it all. Its a we thing and we are all here to share our experience strength and hope with each other--staying sober--and learning how to live sober -one day at a time.

We are all here for you, weve been there-done that-and we care about you, with love and understanding.    Phil

 

Well,, they are right that we can't tell you what to do, or what things are with you... you have to decide that.  I  think that we don't need to compare whose condition is better or worse, cuz all are a little the same and a little different. And too,,, some things are relative. Your condition is worse than some,, and not as bad as some. But...  look at it..  black-outs in which you are doing things that you say are horrible to you. You are messing up at school, and spending most of your time in bars. How much worse does it have to get? The absolute worst is brain damage, cirrhosis of the liver, homelessness ,,, death. Do you want to wait till it gets that bad?

If it were me,,,,  admittedly you are not me,,,,  but if it were me,,,,  I think it is time for me to call this the bottom (the bottom is when we stop digging),,, and call the AA number that is in the phone book to find out where and when the meetings are,,, and go to an AA meeting, or two , or three. Thata would give me a little more to go on, and go with, to decide what my next step would be.

love in recovery,

amanda

Hi, I am sure you wanted to hear something like a yes or no.  But we can't do that and all the replys above are appropriate.  There is one thing you could do as well as what has already been suggested; that is find a meeting place by looking in the phone book under AA and ask someone about a meeting place close to you--preferably an "open" meeting.  There is literature there like twenty questions etc. that can usually help you come to an answer to this question.  You don't need to stay at the meeting you can just take this literature home, however if you do stay for the meeting identify don't compare.  See if what they are talking about is relatable to you. 

Most of us felt from the begining that they belonged here.  And usually if you think you are having drinking problems you probably do. 

I would have to ask myself one question...If i plan to not drink for a week (try this) and I find it difficult to do, I would say I probably do. 

You can hang out here as often as you want too and see if you can get you answer here.  We don't mind. Just get information on alcoholism and I hope to see you here soon to let us know how you are doing.   Have a good night.

Hi Allison,

I don't think there's really much doubt that the behaviours you have described are alcoholic. Not from where I sit mate...they all sound pretty familiar to me! The question really, is whether you can address them on your own, or whether you need some help with that. It sounds like you have run out of ways to try and cope and restore order on your own?... I tried that for ages, and all I did while running on my own, was dig a much deeper hole for myself. By twenty, I'd lost any hope of a normal education (it took another fifteen years for me to finally get to uni), found another active alkie to marry so I could enter into joint destruction, and was on a downward spiral in all areas...family, sport, friends, work, finances, feelings all went by the wayside.

If you want out of the mess, AA can help and other alkies will help, both here on the board, and at your nearest group (and wherever you happen to wander to really). So when you're ready..you let us know. You are only on your own with this as long as you want to be.

I wish you peace,

Nic 

 

 

Hi Allison, I just want to say welcome to the board, keep checking in. Everyone shared some great stff with you , I hope you will think about all that was said. I know alot of people who drink and they never blackout, I was one of the ones who blackedout , I drank for 17 years before I got sick and tired of what it was doing to me and my loved ones.And by the grace of God I got sober, life is so much better today.

You are in the right place to learn about alcoholism,is anyone in your family an alcoholic? You will be in my thoughts as you sort through your questions.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

 

 

You came here to get an opinion - so here goes You are a serious piss-head and you know you are. Part of me just wants to ask for your phone number, but the evil half suggests that you go to an AA meeting. AA meetings can be found on the internet - so if you found this place you should be able to find a local meeting. If you can't just post again here and ask for help.

Im new here as well allison. I cant give you any advice, as Ive only been sober a short time, except to suggest your amongst friends here. I can, how ever, tell you from my experiance of over twenty years heavy drinking, a few things I know.

1. Youll continue to want to stop, and the more you keep on the more youll keep kicking yourself around.

2. Black outs will become weekends you cant remember, not just days.

3. I worked in a bar. If you want to quit drinking, well... perhaps a career change?

4. Things right now, as bad as they seem, will get worse if you continue.

5. Your friends will never get tired of you being "not drunk".

I wish you the best allison.

My friends got tired of me being "not drunk". So dont believe everything you hear here.

Hi Allison-

It's nice to have you here.  I agree with everything Cheri said.  I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic, you have to diagnose yourself.

I can tell you that I relate to alot of what you said.  I use to skip school to drink or I wouldn't go because i had a hang over.  Usually, I drank to the point of blacking out as well.  I've been told that I have also slept with people which I don't remember.  I hated everythinga bout myself when I came into the program.  I wasn't the person I wanted to be.  I felt like I could do much better and I didn't think I was a very good person.

I can tell you one thing though, AA works for me.  I work the steps with my sponsor and I call her everyday.  I pray to a higher power on my knees every morning and every night.  My life now is much better then the life 'out there.'  I feel more at peace and even happy.  I hope that you can find the same.

Take care of yourself.

Toni