> > > 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. > > 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. > > 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. > > 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > > 5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? > > 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. > > 7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. > > 8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it. > > 9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. > >10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. > >11. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged. > >12. She's always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower > >13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. > >14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. > >15. Honk if you love peace and quiet. > >16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading > >17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? > >18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. > >19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living. > >20. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. > >21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. > >22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. > >23. You can't have everything! Where would you put it? > >24. The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population > >25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. > >26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. > >27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. > >28. FLASHLIGHT: A case for holding dead batteries. > >29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture. > >30. A FINE is a tax for doing wrong. A TAX is a fine for doing well. > >31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. > >32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. > >33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. > >34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. > >35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. > >36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. >
>
>
> 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
>
> 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
>
> 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
>
> 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
> 5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
>
> 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
>
> 7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
>
> 8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
>
> 9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
>
>10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
>
>11. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
>
>12. She's always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower
>
>13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
>
>14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
>
>15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
>
>16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading
>
>17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
>
>18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
>
>19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
>
>20. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>
>21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
>
>22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
>
>23. You can't have everything! Where would you put it?
>
>24. The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population
>
>25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
>
>26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
>
>27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
>
>28. FLASHLIGHT: A case for holding dead batteries.
>
>29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
>
>30. A FINE is a tax for doing wrong. A TAX is a fine for doing well.
>
>31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
>
>32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
>
>33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
>
>34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
>
>35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
>
>36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
>
THE BEST EVER, THANKS!!!!