I did not get sober and be blessed as I am, to live in squallor.
I am struggling with balance right now in the most obvious and horrendous of ways.
Over the past few weeks, I have agreed to a change in venue at work, which consists of working tons of hours, and also doing a ton of stuff at home on the computer, at Office Max, etc.. to prepare myself for my new work at work.
I have been coming home and dropping like a swatted fly with its guts blown apart, straight into the bed, leaving for 2 weeks now in my wake, piles of laundry, greasy kitchen floors, dishes overflowing, clothing and crap scattered about, and my GOD the bathroom... not even going to go there lest anyone here barf at the mental picture.
I wanted to do some tidying up last night after work, but ended up taking my aunt to the emergency room, and who knows if we will be having to go back again over the weekend.
My back is killing me, I have not been eating regular meals lately, and my husband has only been able to get home for about 4 hours a night lately with work. I feel buried, and very upset that since I have upped my meetings and been promoted, I now no longer feel like I have the time to get rest, eat right, and keep my home in order. YES, this relates to my recovery, because I can never seem to figure out how to have an organized life. When I concentrate on being "June Cleaver", my meetings go down. When I work more and do more meetings, I can't handle taking care of myself and my home like I should. I feel like a failure, in that everyone else out there seems to be able to "do it all", and yet poor me, I am FLAWED and worthless because I can't manage what other people can.
The only reason I am on here this morning and NOT getting started is because I am totally exhausted, malnourished (eating while I type), and needing just a little advice on HOW TO GET STARTED. If anyone can help me through experience, or direct me to a website, or tell me how to clean a house or do chores throughout the week a little ate a time, please share with me. This is just all adding to my stress level and making me want to say, "F-- this NORMAL LIFE crap"!!!!
I will tell you what my USUAL routine was before I took on all these additional hours at work.
I would work several long days and several short days at work. I would go crazy one day out of the week cleaning EVERYTHING like a maniac, so that I could rest/hit meetings/whatever else on the weekends. Now I work all week.
What do I do??????
Jane05 said
Jan 17, 2009
Hey lady, For right now, I would suggest you do excatly what you're doing. Eat, rest, and try to get into something like a movie or, which I love, old cartoons. Anything mindless. I understand the place you're in and my thinker needs to rest some times to.
We'll get your house cleaned, after you've rested all of you for a bit.
Doll said
Jan 17, 2009
First, give yourself permission that it's OK! Then, if you need to clean, take it room by room. Start in what you think is the worst room and go from there, taking one room per day. (Hell! ask some women AA's to come and help you).
I, (sorry), am just the opposite. I am a CLEAN FRIGGIN' FREAK! Think it goes back to either a)growing up military (my mother ironed the damned bathroom towels!) and / or b) if my house is clean, laundry done, kid fed, etc, then I had permission to drink!
I am working on going to bed with dishes in the sink (I would get out of bed at 1am and go load the dishwasher!) & my sponsor has made me go for a whole week without cleaning my car (ouch!).
No matter what we are (slob or clean freak) if it bothers us, we need to work on it, one day at the time......
Love you, gal!
Hang in there.
jonijoni1 said
Jan 17, 2009
OK Jane, I just loaded my dishwasher.... now I am tempted to work on some lists for work on the computer....... (maybe I shouldn't right now?)....
Maybe I can take a nap in awhile?
OK, how about this:
It is 10:30 now.
I will rest at 11 for an hour.
at 12, I will clean for ONE HOUR.
at 1, I will rest and have lunch.
at 2, I will clean for ONE HOUR.
at 3, I will take a 3 hour haiatus, eat dinner and nap.
at 6, do laundry for an HOUR or so, and then relax the rest of the night?
Maybe if I make a "schedule" for the day I can get myself caught up enough and in a position to do CLOSE OT NOTHING all day tomorrow?
What do you think, girls?
And Doll, you are a strange bird, of which I have never encountered before... LOL
Quetzal said
Jan 17, 2009
Hi Joni,
I would suggest looking after yourself has to come first. The housework will still be there tomorrow!
When I have a pile of things to be done I try to view it as a hobby and remember to enjoy making my home look and feel better. Also, I turn my music up and that helps me to get into a routine of cleaning, dusting, tidying, etc. Then, when I have tackled something that I truly didn't want to do, I 'reward' myself with a nice walk or a bar of chocolate so that I'll feel really good.
As Jen said, give yourself permission to accept the house as it is. If I want to sit with my feet up, it doesn't work for me unless I have really told myself that it is acceptable and that it's allowed.
Just don't overdo it as I know that your working hours have changed.
Take good care of yourself,
(((hugs)))
Carol
Jane05 said
Jan 17, 2009
First, thanks!I didn't know that's how to spell Kreikey, but I never took the time to look it up either.It one of my favorite non-cuss words . Just when I think I've got things "under control" or a "routine", something changes or happens to mess that up.I'm told that part of life, don't like it all the time, but I'm learning.I have wasted days, sitting on the couch trying to figure out how I'm going to get it all done.What I've learned is that I've got to give myself time to adjust and accept.To feel out what goes where and when.Sounds like you had a big change in your life and in my opinion it's going to take a while to find that balance you're looking for.I know--I want it fixed now too.When big changes happen, they sometimes can affect me physically or mentally or spiritually, but usually, for me, it's all three.
So, I have to go back to the basics.What's the most important thing I need to do today?Stay Sober!!And for me, that is prayer, mediation, a meeting and talking with other alcoholics. I so... believe in the power of pen and paper.If I can get the stuff out of my head I tend to be able to attack it a little better.When you've rested some start a to-do list.Have a column for the (must) and the (can wait's). "I must eat" so I take care of things to make that possible.(i.e. Wash dishes, etc...) "I must go to work", so I take care of those things.(wash work clothes, etc)Having clean sheets on my bed help me to sleep better too.I think it give me the illusion the rest of my house is good too. LOL Going back to the basics are using or slogans too. "Keep it Simple", "First things First", etc When I'm in these places "Keep it Simple" is best for me.I'm somewhat of a all or nothing person.I can see the big picture and try to make it happen, but normally end up wiping myself out and being upset with myself because I failed.Not a good thing for me. One of the best things the Program tries to teach me is to take care of myself.If I'm not alright, I can't be of much use, so please take care of you first.I'll be willing to bet that things will start to come together for you in about a week or so. Oh, I can't remember, but if you have children maybe they need to be promoted to. Keep us up on how you're doing.(((hugs)))
jonijoni1 said
Jan 17, 2009
Oh my dear friends, your support is such a comfort to me right now!! I do have to give myself permission to be ok with not being organized right now. It is the nature of what is happening in my life at this time. I have focused SO much organization on my work lately in order to get used to the new roles, that I really quite frankly do NOT have anything left for anything else right now. After my recovery and my job, at least for this past couple of weeks, I am just on empty and that is allowable for a short time.
I thought I was going to follow my little "plan" I made here, but alas, when I went to sleep at 11, I turned the alarm off at noon and woke up at 2. Getting rested for at least ONE day out of the week is more important for right now, until I get my endurance up enough to handle the changes. Thanks so much for that suggestion, Jane, and for giving me the permission to do so.
I really like the idea of making columns of what is critical to get done, and what can wait. It is critical to eat (clean kitchen) and to work (laundry), and if I am not able to do anything else today, so be it. I have taken care of my recovery for the moment with some prayer and meditations, and my daily decision to not pick up a drink, so I am at least on the right path.
Will check in later after making my list and getting a few things done without PANICKING. And Jane, I simply spelled kreikey how I thought it sounded. Beats me how it is supposed to be spelled!! LOL
(((((((hugs to all)))))))
lani said
Jan 17, 2009
Hey Joni!!!
Breathe girl!!!!! I posted before what my suggestion would be....one room at a time, one load at a time....But, take care of you!!!
I always thought it would be fun to get a small group of women and go to each others house and clean together...get some tunes playing and take turns helping each other....all these great ideas I have and havent tried a one...
Im so bad...planning on exercising and found a great exercise channel..."Watched" it while I mopped the floor!!! My butt checks even burned from just watching!!!! Did a few squats and moved on.....
Progress not perfection!!! The house wont crumble!!!! It will all be there for the next day!
Youre doing great and things will level out!!
I just realized the other day, I can finally breathe as Im finally confident in my job and the stress level is way down.. It will happen for you too!!!!!
love ya
jonijoni1 said
Jan 17, 2009
OK, it is 5:40pm, and I just about cleane dmy ENTIRE house. And it was not that bad. I have 8 loads of laundry left, but hey, that takes time, right?
Thank you so much for all your suggestions, and your female support.
I just recalled that i used to clean out of anger back in the day, and get soooo much done!! But now, I cannot remember the last time I was actually angry. Isn't that great!?
Anyhoo, off to take a long hot bath, which is well-deserved.
Goping to practice doing regular cleanup around here after dinner during the week. 15 minutes each night will go a long way for me by next weekend, and will keep you posted. Headed to a meeting tomorrow night, and looking forward to it.
Love and hugs and many thanks,
Joni
Jane05 said
Jan 17, 2009
Hope you enjoy!!
pinkchip said
Jan 18, 2009
Just a thought, but with promotion, sometimes comes the ability to hire out. I know the economy sucks right now and it's probably not a realistic idea for most, but damn, if you can afford it...a cleaning service would rock wouldn't it?
Dakota said
Jan 18, 2009
You could use a better support system.
ideas: friends, family, aa members that care about you, even a good neighbor sometimes will help, or hire somebody!
Just don't wear yourself out. Not going to be good if you keep getting all stressed out. (stress being both physical and mental)
-- Edited by Dakota at 13:04, 2009-01-18
Sobrietyspell said
Jan 18, 2009
Main Entry:
crikey
Part of Speech:
interj
Definition:
an exclamation of surprise, a mild oath; cf. criminy, crimine
Etymology:
euphemism for 'Christ'
Jane05 said
Jan 19, 2009
peterjohnson said
Oct 2, 2023
House Washing Sunshine Coast is the preferred option for pressure washing Golden Beach and nearby areas. Our dedication is to deliver excellent results for all your surface cleaning needs, no matter how big or complex, thanks to our wide range of cutting-edge equipment and advanced pressure washing techniques.
I did not get sober and be blessed as I am, to live in squallor.
I am struggling with balance right now in the most obvious and horrendous of ways.
Over the past few weeks, I have agreed to a change in venue at work, which consists of working tons of hours, and also doing a ton of stuff at home on the computer, at Office Max, etc.. to prepare myself for my new work at work.
I have been coming home and dropping like a swatted fly with its guts blown apart, straight into the bed, leaving for 2 weeks now in my wake, piles of laundry, greasy kitchen floors, dishes overflowing, clothing and crap scattered about, and my GOD the bathroom... not even going to go there lest anyone here barf at the mental picture.
I wanted to do some tidying up last night after work, but ended up taking my aunt to the emergency room, and who knows if we will be having to go back again over the weekend.
My back is killing me, I have not been eating regular meals lately, and my husband has only been able to get home for about 4 hours a night lately with work. I feel buried, and very upset that since I have upped my meetings and been promoted, I now no longer feel like I have the time to get rest, eat right, and keep my home in order. YES, this relates to my recovery, because I can never seem to figure out how to have an organized life. When I concentrate on being "June Cleaver", my meetings go down. When I work more and do more meetings, I can't handle taking care of myself and my home like I should. I feel like a failure, in that everyone else out there seems to be able to "do it all", and yet poor me, I am FLAWED and worthless because I can't manage what other people can.
The only reason I am on here this morning and NOT getting started is because I am totally exhausted, malnourished (eating while I type), and needing just a little advice on HOW TO GET STARTED. If anyone can help me through experience, or direct me to a website, or tell me how to clean a house or do chores throughout the week a little ate a time, please share with me. This is just all adding to my stress level and making me want to say, "F-- this NORMAL LIFE crap"!!!!
I will tell you what my USUAL routine was before I took on all these additional hours at work.
I would work several long days and several short days at work. I would go crazy one day out of the week cleaning EVERYTHING like a maniac, so that I could rest/hit meetings/whatever else on the weekends. Now I work all week.
What do I do??????
We'll get your house cleaned, after you've rested all of you for a bit.
Just when I think I've got things "under control" or a "routine", something changes or happens to mess that up. I'm told that part of life, don't like it all the time, but I'm learning. I have wasted days, sitting on the couch trying to figure out how I'm going to get it all done. What I've learned is that I've got to give myself time to adjust and accept. To feel out what goes where and when. Sounds like you had a big change in your life and in my opinion it's going to take a while to find that balance you're looking for. I know--I want it fixed now too. When big changes happen, they sometimes can affect me physically or mentally or spiritually, but usually, for me, it's all three.
So, I have to go back to the basics. What's the most important thing I need to do today? Stay Sober!! And for me, that is prayer, mediation, a meeting and talking with other alcoholics.
I so... believe in the power of pen and paper. If I can get the stuff out of my head I tend to be able to attack it a little better. When you've rested some start a to-do list. Have a column for the (must) and the (can wait's). "I must eat" so I take care of things to make that possible. (i.e. Wash dishes, etc...) "I must go to work", so I take care of those things. (wash work clothes, etc) Having clean sheets on my bed help me to sleep better too. I think it give me the illusion the rest of my house is good too. LOL
Going back to the basics are using or slogans too. "Keep it Simple", "First things First", etc When I'm in these places "Keep it Simple" is best for me. I'm somewhat of a all or nothing person. I can see the big picture and try to make it happen, but normally end up wiping myself out and being upset with myself because I failed. Not a good thing for me.
One of the best things the Program tries to teach me is to take care of myself. If I'm not alright, I can't be of much use, so please take care of you first. I'll be willing to bet that things will start to come together for you in about a week or so.
Oh, I can't remember, but if you have children maybe they need to be promoted to.
Keep us up on how you're doing. (((hugs)))
Hope you enjoy!!
ideas:
friends, family, aa members that care about you, even a good neighbor sometimes will help, or hire somebody!
Just don't wear yourself out. Not going to be good if you keep getting all stressed out. (stress being both physical and mental)
-- Edited by Dakota at 13:04, 2009-01-18
House Washing Sunshine Coast is the preferred option for pressure washing Golden Beach and nearby areas. Our dedication is to deliver excellent results for all your surface cleaning needs, no matter how big or complex, thanks to our wide range of cutting-edge equipment and advanced pressure washing techniques.