It's been a very long hard month at work: we have kicked out an incredible number of tax returns and accounts. Last night the office got broken into. We coped and are back in business. Tomorrow is Friday night. If the tax return has not been posted by last post, then it won't meet the deadline. The manic month wil be over. I will feel like celebrating. Normally I would get pissed. What do you do to celebrate ?

i usually go to the store and get someting that i have really wanted.  like what ever interrests you.  or i go out to a restaurant and get something really good to eat, i explain it as at least it is not on drinks and i get such enjoyment out of a well cooked steak and lobster tail. indulging in harmless things every once in a while is fine.  my husband gets chrome for his harley when he has accomplished something, got to reward yourself life is too short.   have a good night and god bless.

First up ol mate - Congrats on nearing the end of a chaotic and demanding time at work, and for getting through it sober!!!!!

And for having the clear-headedness to think about and consider your success, your abilities and how you might celebrate this particular success without blowing it all in the big finale!

You have heaps to celebrate! So, when the deadline hits Friday night, lean back in your seat and start smiling. Then... when the weariness settles and you've had a chance to credit yourself with a bit of progress (in sobriety, and all other areas of our affairs), and you begin to feel that bit of freedom that starts to edge in - you let out a you beaut hoot and raise your arm triumphantly.

Then you can start shaking your butt and share your own personal happy dance with whoever happens to be within grinning distance, and sing your own lil success song. You might want to choose this success song over the next few hours...

( Mine is "Wind beneath my wings", cos it reminds me to look for the folks who helped me get there. It is a very rare day when we triumph alone. )

Then you gather those folks that helped you get there and ya look em in the eye and share a few hoots, hollers and cheers (they usually have a few funky happy dances they are only to happy to share too) and then you start thinking about how you are going to thank them.

Woooooohooooooo! Everyone loves a party. So get in there and share you're thankyou's around and have a good time. Enjoy the benefits and rewards that come from putting our effort into things. Sing Karaoke, ride a carnival ride, eat mudcake -do whatever you want to do and whatever makes you feel good, just share it as a means of saying thankyou - and don't drink. 

And through the whole experience, you keep cheering yourself on - because you're an alkie who doesn't drink, and you just went through another tough time without one.

When you let out your first hoot - remember us, the alkies from all over the world. Your personal cheer squad. Cos we are all cheering too, and in time you will come to understand that. You are never ever alone, in your failures - or your success!

*Nic wanders off to find her party hat and blower thingy*

 

Hi Nic Hope you are coping with the heat OK and have all the pumps working fine. Tracey my assistant will leave as soon as I get in as its Poets Day. So I'm afraid it will be a solo "party" after the last client leaves and the last document is posted. What a party I will have. No wicked spliff. No party biscuits. No Cava corks a-popping. No JD or Absolut or Stolichnaya or Overproof Rum. No nothing. Times that were so full of joy as a drinker now seem so dull and meaningless. Just like Christmas - that was my worst Xmas ever. The only good bit was playing The Stone Roses first album on repeat for four hours while I slept and dreamt along to the music. I don't do much singing but one I do like to sing along to in the car is "How do you sleep" by the Stone Roses. The words are quite gruesome. See your severed head at a banquet for the dead All dressed up for dinner look so fine You shining silver salver so tastefully powdered With the finest military quick lime Now try and picture this, as I give you a kiss The apple in your mouth slips in mine The orchestra played the sweetest serenade We laughed as we put away your wine So raise your glasses here's a toast to wasted life May all the ghosts come back to haunt you and tell you how they died How do you sleep How do you last the night And keep the dogs at bay How do you feel when you close your eyes And try and drift away Does it feel any better or mean any more When the angel of death comes knock knocking And banging at your door When all the fun was over I put you on my shoulder And took you home away from it all Shot down in flames, mounted and framed And tastefully hung upon my wall Are my dreams your nightmares I hope they all come true Get off your knees the party's over And coming home to you How do you sleep How do you last the night And keep the dogs at bay How do you feel when you close your eyes And try and drift away Does it feel any better or mean any more When the angel of death comed knock knocking And banging at your door. Repeat chorus. Especially love the knock knocking bits on the car window My other in-car singalong faves are: Paradise by the Dashboard Light - Meatloaf, which reminds me of my wife. Especially the "Now I'm praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive cos if I gotta spend another minute with you I dont think I'm gonna survive" And fond memories of Ellen Foley singing with Meatloaf dressed in black french knickers, garter belt and stockings. Three Lions - Badiell and Skinner and Lightning Seeds, which reminds me of Euro 96. I cried at Wembley Stadium (RIP) as 70,000 English Czech supporters sang this at half time during the Final. Anarchy in the UK - Sex Pistols, which reminds me of the happiest night of my life when I was pissed as a lord and lying flat on my back in the back garden of a flat in Brighton on my graduation singing at the top of my voice. The irony that I was about to embark on a career finance added to the spice. Star Spangled Banner (Live at Woodstock) - Jimi Hendrix . Although this is an instrumental it is great to sing along and gives lots of opportunity to play the air guitar. Unfortunately I do not have this on MP3. Maybe I will go wild and have a cup of strong tea at the AA meeting. Must admit that I am worried that unless I start drinking, my holiday will be dull and boring too. Maybe sobriety is not for me.

I will buy my assistant a litre of red Smirnoff and a litre of blue Smirnoff. She deserves to get pissed and she and her mum will really appreciate it.

Stan  Do something nice for yourself u deserve it!!!  Buy something nice u wanted, but maybe didn't want to waste the money. A special meal, a dinner out. I went bowling the other day for a treat with  my grandchildren!! Haven't bowled  in years, IT WAS FUN!!  Anything but drink, we know where that goes !!   Enjoy   Rick

Hey Stan My Man?? Eat some hot chilli. --If it doesnt take your mind off other things itll spice yu up a bit Mate-(Smile) Ta Ta Old Chap. Pip Pip and all that rot. Have a GOOD DAY!!

-- Edited by Phil at 11:51, 2005-01-28

I know how you feel Stan. I'm meeting up with some friends that I've not seen for ages tomorrow, and we're going to.......wait for it........ a beer festival!!!

I'm going to be the only one there sober and I'm going to have to smuggle a bottle of coke past the security people on the door. Should be interesting. Normally I wouldn't even contemplate going to an event like this since I stopped drinking, but I've not seen this group of people for so long.

But I won't be drinking. It IS possible to have fun sober!

Hope everyone is well,

Bye for now.

Chris.

well, Stan ...  I agree with Nic on the part that really recognizes the progress you have made in dealing with stressful situations without drinking. But not drinking is only the beginning of recovery. We do have to learn a new and healthier lifestyle, or it is dull and boring to just do the same things we always did minus the drinking. All I can say is then,,,,,   keep coming, work the Steps and the Promises can be yours too. A drunk lifestyle minus the booze is not much but a dry drunk...   but a positive and constructive attitude of gratitude with a healthy body and a clear minus is wonderfully joyous.

Keep coming,

amanda

Thanks for all the advice guys and gals. Rick: bowling for one is a bit tedious, although I always win. Phil: I have fresh chillies, pickled chilis, dried chillis, crushed dried chilis, hot chili powder, thai chili sauce, hot chili sauce, original Encona hot pepper sauce, smooth Encona hot pepper sauce, tubes of harissa, tins of harissa, Chinese best chili oil with shrimps and best chili oil. No tobasco though because it is not hot enough: when I went on my Avery Island tour I drank a bottle as we went round the factory. The stuff that they seal in barrels for seven years is hot before it is diluted with vinegar. The cousin of this local red-neck that tried to stiff me on a dope deal was hospitalised when he ate a spoonful for a bet. He required a tracheotomy. That's the stuff I want. Ellen: I don't have a Harley to add chrome bits to and chrome bits on a Volvo station wagon would look a tad silly. Nic: everyone loves a party unless you have to party on your own. There is no-one within grinning distance with whom to share a happy dance, well there is my 82 year old flat mate but she is usually too pissed to get out of bed and she is a real killjoy. Just been to a meeting where the theme was difficulty in relationships. Everybody else there were saying that they had difficulty making the relationships last more than three months, or their difficulty was staying out of a relationship, or that they had a constant stream of lovers while drunk. Hell, I can't even get to first base. Does that mean I am not really part of the human race, as it seems in everyone else's life sex abounds, drunk or sober? I have had enough of being miserable and dull. January is always a long hard month, and the pressure is enormous. This evening I had a client whose tax returns were three years late, hassling me about whether I had finished them yet. He refused to leave my office until he had them in his sticky hands, constantly peering over my shoulder and asking questions. If he was in such a hurry why didn't he give me the information 42 months ago. Anyway the last tax return that will be filed on time is done. A years work is complete. The bank account is replete. And there is still another £4000 to invoice this month. Cheers everyone Bottoms up

-- Edited by stancamden at 17:50, 2005-01-28

Well ol mate... I have just woken up over here, and it seems you are most certainly partying in your pity pot - which is not your only option - BUT an option many of us have probably tried.

The 'poor me' mentality is dangerous for alkies, mainly because it often leads from poor me to pour me another drink. Not good. Time to recognise the coocoon of your own making.

Many butterflies never make it out of their coocoons, very simply because they refuse to admit they are even in one.

You are not an island unto yourself. You live and work in London, for goodness sake.... how can there be no-one within grinning distance, Stan??? I understand you are weary and the past month has been a doozy - but if you are that weary, then go to bed and have a well earned sleep. If you want to celebrate, then get triumphant, and start smiling at all those people you are ignoring. The mail man, the girl/guy at the cafe, the guy that stops for you to cross at the crossing, the homeless guy, the kid in the park with the nose ring, or the guy in the suit that's wandering about cos he's lost his car keys.

Time to look outside of the pity pot, Stan. Sometimes, it is difficult being so far away... I would like very much to come round and give you a piece of my mind right now, drag your sorry arse passed the volvo, squish you into my sidecar, and demand you take me on a celebratory tour of the "old country", but that is obviously not possible. So instead, you will have to do it without me.

I look forward to the report.

Nic

Had a fantastic night. After the AA meeting last night I asked for any ideas on how to celebrate and let off steam. The best suggestions were ice cream and a group of people. Unfortunately I do not like ice cream and there is no group of people to go out with. So I did the sensible thing and bought a bottle of Cava and a bottle of JD. While drinking the Cava I got a text from a friend to say she was in the local gay pub. Got on a bus and was there 10 monutes later. Ordered a double Stolichnaya and a bottle of champagne and that was the start of a brilliant night. Unfortunately Helen is a lesbian as were almost all the single females in the pub but it was great fun chatting them up. Met loads of people. Time flew by and after the bar closed we got a cab back to my place where the bottle of JD came in handy. Best night out for a long long time.

yawn

Yawn??????? No constructive comments Hanuman?

Yeah ... what I mean by "yawn" is that if someone goes through that much of an argument about why they should be drinking and then goes on about what a great time they had, maybe they're in the wrong place. Also, it seems a tad lacking in imagination that getting plaster is a prerequisite for celebrating. Try the book "Living Sober" (or any of the AA literature). I had to get a bit adventurous and change my thinking or staying sober would be a miserable experience. To each his own.

Hey Hanuman Maybe I am in the wrong place. 29.01.2005 was a soul-searching night for me. Having spent a few miserable months sober and having done a very hard month's work, I needed to celebrate. At the AA meeting I wanted to share this feeling but the whole meeting was taken up talking about relationships, with which I have had nothing to do for a few years. After the meeting I asked around how do you celebrate and got no sensible or credible answers. Lets face facts here, when it comes to celebrating there is no substitute for alcohol. Deny this if you wish. But you know you are wrong.

Hi Stan, I guess it depends on what you mean by celebrating. My last drink (drunk) was 14 years ago today. I was all geared up in anticipation of St. Paddy's day which fell on a weekend that year. Though this holiday has never meant much to me and I'm not Irish, I was particularly obsessed with it that year. It being a big "drinking holiday" I knew I simply would have to drink... and get good and properly wasted. But the way my drinking had progressed I worried.. would I be clear headed enough to make it in to work on Monday? I had a lot of responsibilities. Maybe I'd better start drinking early so I can finish it up by Sunday and be recovered by Monday, maybe if I drink Thursday and Saturday.. or maybe Friday and Saturday.etc., etc. One side of me was really looking forward to the drunk (palms sweating in anticipation) and the other side wasn't, because at that point in my drinking it was really no longer a choice with me. Oh I might be able to white knuckle it through as I'd done in the past but you can bet that I'd be spending a significant amount of my time thinking about drinking. Knowing that, it was always easier to just say screw it and get drunk rather than fight the obsession any longer. I was beat by the obsession. I think it was Thursday night that I started on that last binge. Lot's of "excitement" and general insanity but probably not much crazier than many other times. I think what I meant by celebrating at that time was completely blowing out all the tensions, cares and what-not that had built up. I needed BIGTIME relief and release. Anyway, that Monday I realized (again) I could no longer do this anymore. However, this time I asked for help and without realizing it right away, the obsession had been lifted. I didn't even really realize it until the following weekend when I checked myself into a rehab. I mean I had a week until I was checking into that place ... why not one good last drunk? I don't know but the thought just didn't even occur to me. Stan, I don't go for a lot of the religious hocus pocus. But I do know that I've found a much happier and better way to live today. And my ideas about what constitutes celebrating have changed a bit. It took time. I've definitely found ways of blowing out all the stresses and tensions of day-to-day living. Some of those ways have involved not letting myself get that way in the first place. There are a lot of options. I just needed to get creative and try some rather than getting drunk as I've always conditioned myself to do. BTW, our society and advertising certainly tell us that alcohol is the way to celebrate and let off steam.. so it's not like we're just coming up with those notions ourselves. My first sober New Years I was invited to a party hosted by some old drinking buds. We used to really have some wild times and I wasn't sure what this would be like. My partner was with me and he doesn't drink, which helped. My hosts however were completely shit-faced and obnoxious as ever by 9pm when we arrived (though they assured me they were taking it easy.. maybe a few beers). One thing I noticed was that not everyone drank the way I did. Some do if you happen to go to a party of that sort. But I go to parties a lot and usually have a good time. In fact it's been a lot easier than I thought. I don't think I'd have much fun at a place where everyone's getting wasted though. I don't think I'm immune to getting drunk again, especially if I'm off a bit emotionally or physically (oh yeah.. spiritually too). Anyway, I didn't mean to seem harsh in my response to you. Hope you hang around and find what you need.