(Adapted from "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage", Page 30-32)
Discuss don't attack
Keep the voice low and pleasant
Stick to the subject
Listen to his/her complaints
Don't make demands
A Key Word in Communication - Courtesy
(From the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, Page 35)
"People with usually good dispositions have no difficulty being courteous to strangers and friends. It is when our strong emotions are involved that we swing to the limits of the pendulum - extremes of demonstrating affection or disapproval. We are so deeply involved that we treat those closest to us as though they were a part of us; when they do things that do not please us, we fight them instead of fighting our own shortcomings."
Keeping in mind the word 'courtesy' helps to remind us that our loved one is other things besides a possession for us to own and control. He is a man, a person, an individual; he is a man who does a job, earns a living. He is a helping hand to his friends in need. He is a person whose experiences in life are different than our own; he has a heart, mind, soul, feelings and emotions. He is a person to be respected as a child of his Higher Power, to be considerate of, to treat always with courtesy.
COURTESY generates COURTESY
Phil said
Jan 16, 2005
Good stuff Donna. Hope everythings going ok for you.
Not very warm in Ontario. Hows everything on your end?
amanda2u2 said
Jan 16, 2005
Thanks very much for that... sounds like a good book and I think I'll look for it.
Five Guides to Communication
(Adapted from "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage", Page 30-32)
A Key Word in Communication - Courtesy
(From the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, Page 35)
"People with usually good dispositions have no difficulty being courteous to strangers and friends. It is when our strong emotions are involved that we swing to the limits of the pendulum - extremes of demonstrating affection or disapproval. We are so deeply involved that we treat those closest to us as though they were a part of us; when they do things that do not please us, we fight them instead of fighting our own shortcomings."
Keeping in mind the word 'courtesy' helps to remind us that our loved one is other things besides a possession for us to own and control. He is a man, a person, an individual; he is a man who does a job, earns a living. He is a helping hand to his friends in need. He is a person whose experiences in life are different than our own; he has a heart, mind, soul, feelings and emotions. He is a person to be respected as a child of his Higher Power, to be considerate of, to treat always with courtesy.
COURTESY generates COURTESY
Thanks very much for that... sounds like a good book and I think I'll look for it.
love in recovery,
amanda