Well I finally went tonight. My husband went with me to the open meeting. It was ok. I wasn't crazy how they went around the room and I had to at least introduce myself. I would have liked to have just sat in the back and listened but there was no "back". It was set up with tables set in a U shape so people were in kind of a circle. I met some nice women that I think I can relate to.

The guy next to me was drunk! I could definitely smell the alcohol on his breath. I got the feeling from what he said during the meeting that he was there because of a court order. Is it fairly unusual for someone to have been drinking right before or during (he had a thermos, who knows what was in it) a meeting?

How long should I wait to get a sponsor? I kind of want to feel people out before I just pick one from the list of people who are willing to do it (assuming they would agree to sponsor me). What do you do with a sponsor anyway? Some women volunteered to call me or have me call them just to talk.

Hi Kendall,

Congratulations on going to your first meeting.  That's a big step... and in the right direction!  Please take advantage of those phone numbers given to you and call, especially when you're feeling down or just need to talk to a fellow member. 

As for a sponsor, I attended meetings and listened a lot and grew to admire and respect one particular lady who seemed to walk like she talked.  She had what I wanted. Every meeting I went to (which was lots), she was there and eventually I got the courage to ask her if she would be my sponsor.  She said yes!  She also became my best friend.  I believe that a sponsor should have at least two years in the AA program and have worked the 12-Steps.  My opinion. 

Please keep coming back here to share with us!  Keep up the good work.

Love and prayers,

Alice

Hi Kendall

Congrates on making it through your first f2f meeting  i remember going to mine and how scared i was but i knew that i needed to be there if i was going to stop drinking i needed a new life the one i was living was killing me. i met alot of wonderfull people there and youd be amazed at how many other people there feel just like you do. plz dont leave befour the mirical happens sis

Hugs, Serenity

Wooo-hoo! Kendall just kicked a goal!!!

****Dancin round the room***

 (doing one of those happy dances that always embarrases my kids)

Well Done Kendall!

Don't worry about the drunks mate, the place is full of em! All in different aspects of recovery. Take your time meeting people and look for those who share your spirit. Whatever your interest, prejudice, concern, or worry you'll find at least one other person in the room who will be happy to find you there.

Sponsors? Each and everyone we meet has something to teach us. You will find that you want to spend more time with someone because you like where they are in life, and you can relate to their story, or you may suddenly feel grateful for the guidance of someone, and suddenly realise they been helping you without a formal arrangement. Sponsors often find us, and it so often begins with a thankyou.

What do they do? They share their progress and understanding of the steps and help us make friends with ourselves.

What do you do with them? Meetings, laugh, cry, grumble, shop, drink coffee, argue, swim, read, rant, and probably lots more. They are human beings that have stopped drinking when stopping wasn't natural. Just like you. They have one thing to offer you - their time. They will share it, and they will share the steps that led to the accumalation of that time.

The advice I was given about choosing a sponsor? Look for someone who has what you want. Took me a while to work out what I wanted and by the time I did, my sponsor was already working with me. She had already heard/felt the similarities in our stories. She already knew we could help each other. She had already started sharing the way and telling me what to do. I only had to recognise that and start listening, and doing the things she suggested instead of nodding and then getting back on with struggling. When I decided it was time to honour her time, and respect her suggestions, I entered a genuine friendship and started to get to know my sponsor.

I met a woman who blazed a trial, I doubted I could ever traipse, but inwardly I wanted everything she had. She was self-assured, patient, a survivor with a wicked sense of humour who genuinely cared about the world she lived in. She could stand for causes and recognise her contribution. She had 9 years sobriety then, and in that time she'd learned to read and write and had been accepted to uni and achieved her degree, bought a home, made peace with her family, worked in a job she liked going to, and helped out with various services. She was a really nice person, strong but kind. I wanted to be a nice person and I wanted to achieve similar things in life. In the past years, I have followed in her footsteps and achieved many of the things I never thought possible with her encouragement.

But she did it all first.

Thankfully, she showed me I could too.

Tis good fun Kendall! Ask yourself what you want to be, do and achieve and look for that in those around you.  So much will improve now that you have opened yourself to recovery and the help of others... life just gets better and better.

Can't wait to hear you have kicked your next sobriety goal. Ummm...What is it? (lol)

All the best Kendall, Nic

Hey Kendall? Way to go!! It gets easier.:) It states in our Third tradition, that " The only requirement for member ship is a DESIRE to stop drinking." I was one of those guys you sat beside at the meeting. I had the desire to stop, but couldnt, or didnt, or wouldnt. I was bouncing in and out of meetings that way for seven years. I knew I needed to be there, but it was a long time before I put the drink down. They never kicked me out thank God. They just told me to keep comming back. I got the message the hard way after a few more trips to the garbage dump. Stick with the Winners is another saying I remember the oldtimers telling me. Take what you can and leave the rest, and above all--Keep an open mind. You hang in there freind!!