The price of dishonesty is self-destruction. --Rita Mae Brown There once was a woman who told her husband what she thought he wanted to hear. She told him she was happy when she wasn't. She told him she liked his friends when she didn't. She tried to figure out what he wanted so she could do it for him. She felt hurt when he didn't do the same for her. She felt he should also try to read her mind and do what she wanted without her having to express it. She was scared to tell him how she really felt. However, her pain and resentment grew so much she couldn't stand it any longer, so she told him her true feelings. He was so used to hearing her lies that he called her a liar when she told the truth. Now she knew how much she had hurt herself by trying to please him at the cost of her own honesty and needs. Honesty is necessary for a good relationship with anyone. When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. By being honest, we open our doors to others, we trust them with our true feelings, and they love us for who we really are. Who can I tell how I really feel today?

Honesty.  The one thing that "How it works" says we really need to make it.

some of the trouble I am having now is that the guy I like has been like the lady above. He told me what he thought I wanted to hear. but I wanted to hear the truth. And now I don't believe anything he says, and feel very confused about what is going on with him.

Friends are honest with their friends. Albeit the truth can be told in a loving way.

amanda

This was me for a good part of my life, Phil!  I'd expect others to know my thoughts and feelings and I'd have all these high expections of everyone.... and just like you said, what comes of it is Self-Destruction! 

I never again want to fall into the depths of despair and I'm pretty sure I won't, so long as I keep on living the 12-Steps.  One day at a time makes it easier.

Thanks for the great post.  Be well and in good spirits, my dear friend.

Love & hugs & prayers,

Alice

Hey Gals!! And yup --that post is a biggy. :) If we arent honest within ourselves, the mind games can start within ourselves, and are automatically played with others. No fun.