Bored hu? Well-Ile share a few things with yu Stan, my man. Over the past year, Ive gone through Luekemia and Chemo treatments. Ide rather be sober and bored. My marriage went for a crap. Ide rather be sober and bored Was in a deep depression for 10 months and suicidal Ide rather be sober and bored Wound up in a ditch almost upside down in a snow storm Ide rather be sober and bored. Started a university course and had to quit, when expectations of the future went for a crap Ide rather be sober and bored Paid for flights in advance to spend time with loved ones. That went for a crap Ide rather be sober and bored. All plans, expectations, and trust in others-- committing to a marriage, went for a crap Ide rather be sober and bored Have been spending time with cancer patients that are terminally sick and have days or months to live. Not fun to watch Ide rather be sober and bored. Have been to 3 funerals over the past 3 months--people under 55 Ide rather be sober and bored All the pain and emotional termoil involved--the depression-the devastation-the suicidal thoughts. Ide rather be sober and bored. Yu know what? I never had to pick up a drink. Thats the BIGGY. At present its 415 in the morning. Im playing on the computer and talking to 4 fish in a fish tank. Now thats funny. Im breathin buddy. Shouldnt even be alive today, because of booze. I kinda like breathin, yu know? :) Think I wont pick up a drink today, and maybe keep breathin some more. Maybe Ile watch a couple movies and just relax. I do know one thing. Some days might be no fun, but they are a lot better than they used to be when I drank. And I dont like hugging toilet bowls, or spending time in jails, hospitals, or mental institutions. I dont like waking up in the morning, trying to hold the bed still while I vibrated. I dont like waking up in the mornings and wondering what Ide done the night before, or who I had to borrow money from, and how much. I dont like hurting other people in my life because of alcoholic actions and reactions I dont wanna go back to that crap. I dont like to be the first one at the beer store. People might think I have a problem.:) So I think Ile just stay sober and bored some days(smile) And maybe go to meetings and meet some new freinds. And slowly but surely--one day at a time--things will get better for you Buddy. You have a good day> Im thinkin of yu. And I meant what I said about calling you on the phone. Just throw me the number, and wele have a chat mate.:) Hell-I spent more money on booze that I spilled. What a few bucks for a few phone calls to support a new freind Hu? -------------------------------------------------- Anyone got a saw I can borrow? I hafta cut up and cook 2 turnips to go with my chicken, for lunch.:) And speaking of chicken--Do you take the feathers off first, or leave them on to add flavour? Hey!! I didnt say I was bright!! :) BUT IM SOBER!! hehehe

That is one hell of a long list of shit you been through. Not surprised you ended up depressed and amazed that you stay off the hooch. Apart from having to put my dog down last year, my life is pretty smooth and my health is ok apart from being overweight, for which I am paying with regular trips to the gym, legs bums and tums classes and aqua-aerobics. I run my own accountancy practice and have cash in the bank. Gave up smoking cigarettes in August and had to quit weed the next day cos I could not smoke it neat. Gave up drinking about a month ago. Drinking has never caused me a problem: no bankruptcies, no motor wrecks or suspended licences, few hangovers, no nights in police cells or terms in jail, no mental institutions, no attempted suicides, nothing. I have had no relationships, so none have been affected by my drinking. On average I was drinking about 8 bottles (70 centilitres) of spirits, usually bourbon or vodka, each week. This had been going on for years. It was a habit. I have few friends and almost always go to events, football games, concerts, holidays, gym etc etc on my own, not through choice but because there is no-one else to go with me that wants to go. My basic problem is that I am lonely. I think that the only reason I have continued not to drink is so that I can go to AA meetings where I meet people. In the last few weeks I have met all sorts: gangsters, ex-convicts, nutters, and maniacs, but I have also met many sane, intelligent, professional people and above all nearly a third of the people I have met have been female. On a couple of occasions I have been sitting as the only male at a table full of women - that has not happened to me for decades before - even if one evening was with some lesbians - hell, they can be converted and shown the error of their ways. I suppose when I say I am bored, I am really saying I am lonely and depressed because I am lonely. I have lots of toys to play with but no-one to talk to or fuck with. When I drink I do not feel lonely, nor depressed. I am not a bad person, have travelled the world, have no disabilities, I am quite affable and have a sense of humour, but ever since I was a kid in first grade people have shunned my company. I never get invited to parties or for dinner, only once have I ever been invited to a wedding. The only social events I go to are funerals, because you don't need to be invited. I have no problem with clients and dealing with people on a professional level, but socially people do not like me. My only friends are both lonely social misfits themselves, one of whom refuses to leave his appartment except to buy ready meals and essentials from the shop next door. I was chatting on the web with a woman who said meeting women was easy: go to a local dance with a few mates and ask a girl to dance. When I asked how to get mates, she said everybody had mates and ignored me from then on. Don't waste your phone bill on me. Stan