Asking for Help It's okay to ask for help. One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource. We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends. Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God. It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we'll get the help we need. There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that. It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need. "My problem is shame," said one woman. "I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was to ashamed. Isn't that crazy?" We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need. Today, I will ask for help if I need it - from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life - the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe of resources available to me.

i would have to say that this is one of my major problems.  alot of the time i don't have that knee jerk reaction to ask for help.  i try to figure it out first and put myself through hell before it dawns on me that-that was even an option.

one of my quirks--i see where my pride is the root cause of this and all i can say is that my awareness is getting better.  but nowhere near that ballence it needs to be.

that is what i mean about the getting out of self thing.  i have never been the type to cry or show weakness as a matter of fact i had stiffled that idea early on.  it really is reteaching me that what i did to survive had nothing to do with living.  self parenting had alot to do with that if you know what i mean.  all along i thought that i was a help to myself but i was the obsticle that kept me from being happy.  it was a hard thing for me to swallow my identity as a person had to be changed.  i just hold onto the progress not perfection idea and try.  i am just so grateful that i have the chance everyday to learn and grow and be that better person that i know i can be. that keeps me grounded.  have a great day phil and thanks for the topic.