Tonight, with all the 'trick or treaters', I was transported to the late 50's ... my folks took me and my sister to the 'exclusive' side of town, with a couple neighborhood kids, to go collect some candy ... since we were in the 'low rent' district, it was a real treat ... ... ... (the big candy bars)(5cent ones, today??? ,,, a dollar)
Tonight, I was 5 again instead 65 ... and the best part, ... I was sober and able to relish all the happy , but strange, faces that came to the door ... I've not enjoyed myself this much in a very long time ... here's wishing you all had similar experiences tonight ...
Love you guys and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
It's nice to know we can be 5 again .. i enjoyed reading this as it's nice to 'hear a man sharing he appreciates the kids .. the 'family events .. I'm sad for all the special memories my daughter's dad missed out on with his own .. memories he can't get back .. (with her) .. I'm sad for the ones i missed out on too when i wasn't 'emotionally available so enmeshed with 'him .. definitely a messy work in progress here .. and still 'learning to become more available (in the moment)
We can never dwell on what 'could have been' ... the past is just that, the past ... never to be 're-lived' ... (hard to miss something you never really had)
But what we can do is learn from the past and learn to avoid those paths that lead us back to where we do not wish to be ... With an 'open mind', all things are possible ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
nope can't go back and make a better past .. can go back and make peace with the past .. love the thought it's hard to miss something you never had .. true that .. remembering when i first came into recovery .. musta said a dozen times within the first few years i feel like i'm 5 .. one day after a meeting someone who knew me came with me and i said it again .. hearing so much wisdom in the meeting and such simple insight that wow i feel like i'm 5 .. she stopped and said .. you never got to be 5 .. it hit me then and there recovery was letting me be 5 Again .. or really for the first time .. tied right in with the readings on how we begin as toddlers in recovery and work our way through ..
alot of the past stuff is surfacing in me lately .. it's supposed to .. i'm finishing up a 4th step with an alanon sponsor .. have a ways to go before i understand aa .. it's the same in reference to step work but i am so used to alanon .. i suppose it might take me a few .. i don't have an aa home group yet .. i've yet to get into a meeting .. baby steps and somewhere in the transforming transitioning phase from alanon to aa .. always heard steps 1 thru 4 are yesterday .. 5 thru 8 move us into today 9 through 12 prep for what's to come .. do know the process will keep opening my mind and heart and lead me to where i need to be in the perfect time .. grateful to have been led to the boards as well .. sort of like opening a door and walking down a hallway .. i'll step into a group here soon .. finishing this step first ..
AlaNon is a fantastic group to associate with, especially if your on the receiving side of an alcoholic relationship (the bad stuff)... ... ... But, there is no substitute for AA when the problem with alcohol is yourself ... I found that out through experience ... I had to stop banging my head against the brick wall and start listening with an open mind before the power of 'reason' could seep into my broken brain ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
