When I was young, I was filled with piss and vinegar and ego. It was all about what I wanted, what I thought I deserved, and I didnt think twice about how I got it. As my drinking and drug use got worse, my ego only seemed to grow. Isolated in the prison of self, with only self-seeking and self-centered motives, I finally hit a bottom. In that brief moment of desperation, my ego was temporarily defeated, and I surrendered enough to enter the program.
As I began working the Steps, and as my life got better, my ego rebounded. It was a constant struggle to rein it in. Thankfully with the help of my sponsor, the support of the fellowship, and by working the Twelve Steps, I was able to humble it enough to grow beyond its insatiable demands. I am grateful to how the Steps are structured, and especially to Steps Ten through Twelve, which allow me to keep my ego in check.
Now that Im older and in a different stage of my life, the things that were so important to me money, property and prestige are more in the rear view mirror, and I am glad Ive grown past them. Today, being comfortable in my own skin and grateful for what I have is much more satisfying than any of the things my ego thought I needed to be happy. I heard someone say that when you get older only two things really matter: having health and time. When I was younger those two things werent even on my list. But now, with a little bit of wisdom and a lot of recovery, I see the truth in todays quote: age does take care of your ego.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
