I have been walking everyday as I posted before. My friend and I go to a beautiful nearby park-like environment and take in all the beauty of the flowers and listen to the birds. Still meditate there as well. Yesterday was quite different than the other days.....a lady was pushing a stroller and her toddler amused us. It was wonderful watching a child in all his innocence point at the water and look at his mommy for her response. What a cutie pie! I remember my own child and forget the trials of raising a child and remember the joys when I see other children playing carefree in our world. That was interrupted for me when the woman's dog started barking and running after a security guard. The guard stood there looking sternly at the dog, then at the woman, as she walked toward him. I was concerned that we would witness a dog getting shot if the woman did not get to it soon enough. The officer grilled her and she walked back to her stroller and got a leash which was tied to it. I was relieved when that scene was over.
Our meditation time was cut short. We were both ready to leave after that. As we were walking, my friend made a loud noise and I saw him behaving rather frantically and messing with his nose. A bug had flown up one of his nostrils. I turned my head while he was loudly blowing air out of his nose to try and get it out. Then I turned my head when I heard him say "Oh no!" in a fearful voice. I saw him looking downwards and when I looked down myself, I noticed a huge bee on the sidewalk. I said "did that come out of your nose?" He shook his head no and before he got the words out, I heard a spitting-like sound and realized the sprinklers were coming on. I started running as fast as I could to try and keep from getting wet. As I was running, I stepped on some uneven ground and my sprained my ankle. Although it was painful, I was able to make it home without having to be carried (ha! as if that were even possible!).
I thought about not going to my meeting last night. I was not only in pain, I was worried if people would think my injury was alcohol related. I have actually injured a foot more than once when I was drinking in the past. I tried to ignore my fears of what others would think. I was wearing one of those foot bandages and hobbled on in to the meeting. I kept telling myself that at least God, my alcoholic friend who was with me and myself know that my injury is a sober one---and it was caused when I stayed "dry" while trying to stay dry.
Have a great day!
-- Edited by leavetherest on Monday 20th of June 2016 09:14:16 AM
Here is one for y'all/ The other day I left my meagre room to set forth in the world to accomplish marvelous progress in my recovery. A planned appointment (review with doc) and a few other things. I had no sleep for the past 2 nights at all, on a new A-D that is reeking havoc with my sleep patterns. It was very cold, about 5 degrees celcius, raining and 0730 in the morning. I was exhausted. Whirlpool thinking brain nearly went into overload- I am too tired, I need to sleep- nonono do not give in you have to push- apathy leads to relapse- you will fail then you will drink. Sleep later, push push push. Then a tiny voice in my head suggested that perhaps it had nothing to do with my recovery motivation, that perhaps I actually was tired and needed to rest. Thought about that for a moment and decided to sleep- with a clear mind. Thank you god and the stories of all the people I read in places like this.... J
Good for you John S. Your story is a good example of how it is possible to work through rough times when we are tired and instead of accepting every thought that comes into our brains we can choose to challenge some of them.
