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Lauramarie


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Just thinking out loud...
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I have been in AA for a number of years.   It has helped me stay sober.

I now have a new boyfriend.   You guessed it, he drinks.  

This is the first boyfriend that I have, since being sober, that drinks.  

Just wanted to get this out there.  

You can all image what is going through my mind.   Oh some days life is so darn hard.

I read here all the time.    This time I am posting.   So very grateful there is a place like this.

Thanks for listening.



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Zoomtopz


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Welcome Lauramarie.

I have had some "Lady friends" nothing serious , we just dated , that drank . But ,

no one "serious' that drank . But I left my 'live-in' girl friend 3 weeks into sobriety.

I hope this works out for you.



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Rick.

@ 37 I was too young & good looking to be an alkie.

still too young , still got th good looks. still n alkie.
Baba Louie


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My opinion is, if you find yourself thinking about drinKing more than you usually do, (hopefully, by now, you don't think about it all the time), then, you're gonna have to re-think this. Boyfriends come and go. You don't want your sobriety to be like a boyfriend. You want it to stay for the rest of your life. 

Personally, a moderately drinking girlfriend wouldn't bother me. But if she was getting piss-ass drunk all the time, then, it would be really annoying. Ever notice, how since we quit drinking, drunk people are really annoying? (Just like WE used to be! Haha) 



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Lauramarie


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Thanks to everyone who read and wrote something here.

I think I like this guy a lot, in fact more than I dare say.  

So far there is not a problem with his drinking.   But of course, that can change in a second.

The strange part of the whole deal is that I really don't know what "social drinking" really is all about.

I was never a social drinker.   Oh no not me, I had to over drink every time I went out.

Thanks to AA and my HP, I have some sobriety under my belt. 

It feels so very good to get up every morning and remember what happened the evening before.

I know for me, I don't want to ever forget where I came from, and what can happen in the future, if I ever pick up drinking again.

Wow, I love being sober.    Thanks for reading.

 



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Pythonpappy


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Welcome to MIP Lauramarie, ...

Glad you decided to join us ... of course the situation you've described is a precarious one ... no one can tell you what the future will be under such circumstances ... you seem pretty enamored? with this guy ... so much so that you're willing to risk your sobriety for what you see as a promising relationship ... I must say, I can envision many circumstances in your future, if you stay with this guy, that will test your sobriety to the very limit of your ability to withstand a drink ... if you do, I pray your spiritual condition is in top form ...

You obviously have already had some trying moments that are causing you to 2nd guess this relationship ... and justifiably so ... and should this fella progress into a full blown alcoholic, then your problems will only multiply ... of course you sound like a person that has already worked through some of the scenarios ...

Please just be very careful and use 'common sense' in making your choices ...


Love you and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Lauramarie


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Well, I don't think I have to worry about my new guy  being a stumbling block in my sobriety.

He told me today that is very busy for the next few weeks.   I think he was letting me down easy.

In other words he broke up with me this morning.   I feel sad in my heart.   I really fell for him.

He didn't come out and say the words "we are no longer seeing each other", but I got the hint.

Oh I hate getting dumped.

I am going to go to a meeting this evening for sure.   I need to go and want to go.

Thanks for listening to me.   We have all been where I am now, I pray I don't stay long with these feelings.

Thank you everyone.

  



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Pythonpappy


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Consider that this just may be God's way of helping you out ... just say'n ..........


Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Lauramarie


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Yes, it may be God's way for sure.   It hurts like hell though.   I think this is the kind of pain that only time can heal.

I went to a meeting this evening.   It helped.  Thanks.



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Fyne Spirit


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Lauramarie wrote:

Yes, it may be God's way for sure.   It hurts like hell though.   I think this is the kind of pain that only time can heal.

I went to a meeting this evening.   It helped.  Thanks.

 

 

Obviously He has something better in store for you. Both my late wife of 20 years and my current partner drank, but you would hardly call them drinkers in our context. One or two drinks once or twice a month if that. In fact, apart from one turbulent and brief relationship, in early sobriety with a non drinking AA member, pretty much everyone I went out with would qualify as a light social drinker. Incidentally, from that AA relationship I learned that one nutter in a relationship is enough:)

I never saw other people's drinking as a problem (unless they drank alcoholically) because it wasn't a problem for them, and it wasn't their problem that I didn't drink if you get what I mean. My problem was me. Through the steps my drink problem was removed and does not influence my social life today. Have a read of the 10th step promises, and also from the bottom of page 100. You'll get the picture.



-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Thursday 8th of October 2015 01:15:26 AM

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Fyne Spirit

Walking with curiosity.
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