morning all, feeling extremely low now, what i saw as a sign my husband didnt, went to a methodist church yest(sunday) morning, as by chance found the courage to pop into my old working place, and started speaking to a new member of staff there, we hit it off straight away and he told me his struggles were taken away by going to THIS particular church...its a methodist church called 'living faith', i was lighter, felt blessed, felt as tho i had found a power higher than myself, but when i came home i told my husband all the emotions i was feeling and he asically said, 'he is worried, as i latch onto or jump to new things, and he thinks its a CULT thing or born again christians', feeling extremely confused this morning, just dont know wether to listen to my husband or just stick with the way i feel n say fuck off...help please xx
kaz wrote..."i was lighter, felt blessed, felt as tho i had found a power higher than myself...."
These are good positive emotions. You have the right to make your own choices. I know how you feel though. Being a people pleaser, I would make not my own, but others choices they either told me or suggested I make. This only led to me feeling worse instead of better and I felt like I was betraying myself by not doing what I wanted to do for me and my best interests.
I have made a promise to myself to be not so eager to please others. I can express gratitude, "thank you for caring/sharing", for ex., and know in my heart that I don't have to feel guilt or like I let someone down for not taking their "advice". My goal from here on out is to try and please God and do what He wants me to do. And I don't know any humans who are God. Good luck to you. You are doing great and I admire and look up to you for staying sober.
-- Edited by hopefulone on Monday 28th of September 2015 08:57:56 AM
Glad you made it through the weekend ... and what ZoomZ had to say is 'spot on' ... 'keep it simple' dear ... you're starting a journey that will lead you through some 'changes' ... you'll still be you, but better ... and your husband just can't see that yet, it takes time ... he probably has a fear of losing the you he came to love to begin with ... if you stay and work the AA program with total honesty, he has noth'n to fear ...
Many of us find a religious path to pursue in recovery ... but most of us find our own spiritual path that leads to recovery which may, or may not, include organized religion ... the biggy is coming to know there's a 'power greater than you' out there that can help you ...
You must understand that there is no one out there that understands what you're go'n thru EXCEPT another alcoholic ... we can help ... we've been in the shoes you're wearing right now ... let us show you a life(a wonderful life) that you cannot even imagine right now, it's your's if you'll follow a few simple steps ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
"I'll think about it" is a respectful answer in either direction - and allows you to feel respectful and peaceful until the answer arises naturally in HP's time. One beautiful thing about letting Hp's timing play out in our lives naturally, is it gives us a chance to work on being less impulsive. This is valuable in early sobriety especially, as our impulsiveness has been so practiced we are far better at it than what is actually useful in life.
Getting to a peaceful place, like flowing water vs turbulent water, means allowing new pathways in the brain. Redirecting places we would normally go in the mind, where we get stuck is important. In that stuck place we feel anxiety and stress, which leads us to searching for relief - many times in unhealthy ways like drinking.
If we can slowly redirect our thinking, form new paths in the mind to places that bring us peace - we no longer need to find relief from our thinking about our circumstances.
Take the mind today - toward letting go of the outcome of this situation - and allowing things to play out in time. A higher power you do not have to understand today, but can choose to believe has things as needed for your best interests... and when it is time for you to decide what you will do as far as going to church or anything else - the path will be clear to you. Because it isn't today - you can wait peacefully and practice patience - letting that be enough for today. It's all learning, and who you are right now, is enough ---- just as it's supposed to be.
We can never know if there is some sort of HP, but since no one knows - we can make a choice that allows us peace now. That allows us to be most useful in life for not only our current circumstances - but everyone else too. Any time we react in anger vs. kindness or peacefulness - we have to feel angry and mean. This isn't helpful for achieving the serenity we deserve... and it doesn't reflect our true self. When we behave from the place in our heart that reflects our true loving self - not only we benefit, but everyone else automatically does as a byproduct.
I believe in you
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I believe in you